Connections- Entire story to date

The Crulian Series
Book 1 – Connections

Chapter 1 - Jael

I lay in bed still sleepy but having been woken by the sunlight that was beginning to drift through the draped window beside my bed. The sound of the light knock on my door barely registers in my half asleep dreaming. Opening my eyes slowly, I blink to clear the morning fogginess from my eyes. Staring at the sheer fabric hanging over my four poster bed, I try to remember the face in my dream that gave me such a blissful feeling. I look out the window to register the time. The sun is barely peaking over the outer wall, its soft rays just touching the cherry tree outside my window. I love this time of year, the cherry blossoms remind me of pink snow covering the ground with their feminine petals. I smile, pulling my soft down comforter back over my head hoping to see the face in my dream again, not quit ready to get up.

"Your Highness? … My Lady, your brother wishes you to join him in his room," A small voice says from behind the door.

Stupid shallow girl. I groan inwardly at the girl outside my door. Why does she let him in her head when she knows it aggravates me? I’ve showed her so many times how to block his thoughts from entering her mind. She can’t stop him from trying but she can block him if she chooses to. Of course she doesn’t. Jayden is difficult to refuse. His mind wrapped around yours is an exhilarating feeling. I don't think she really wants him out of her head, most don’t.

"Come in," I mumble from beneath my covers. There is no going back to my dream now. As she enters my room I peak from beneath my layers of covers to see the expression on her face. Empty as usual. "Running his errands again I see," I say accusingly as she flops onto my bed. She doesn’t even have the decency to look embarrassed.

"You know I cannot refuse him my Lady." She says with a toss of her coppery curls. Jenna, my maid, dressed in a long cream colored linen shift and an over gown of soft grey wool, muddy brown eyes blankly staring at me, smiles as if she has accomplished something important.

"You don’t even try Jenna, it’s disgusting", I snap as I shove the covers from over my head and sit up glaring at her.

Her eyes flit around the room like a bird, gaze fluttering from one thing to another trying to avoid meeting my eyes, “It’s not like he makes me do things I wouldn’t do if he asked. I don’t think he even notices he puts the thoughts in my head instead of saying them aloud. And his compulsions are not unkind.” She insists with a shake of her head. I can’t tell if she is trying to convince me or herself. “It’s just natural for him. Is that so bad?" She asks innocently.

"Yes", I reply patiently. "Jenna he has no right to control you that way. Let him ask so you can give an honest reply to his wishes. You don’t have to do everything he says.” I pause to see her reaction. She looks out the window stubbornly. I try a new approach thinking perhaps she is too ashamed that she can’t resist him. “Do you need me to show you again how to resist his thoughts?"

"No. I remember what you showed me, Lady.” She pats my hand trying to placate me. She sits up straighter her mind made up, “I am a servant in your household, I could not refuse him even if he gave me the choice...and I like the connection he has made with me." She smiles at her last remark. "He likes me," She says with so much infatuation that I cannot tell if it’s the connection making her say it or if she truly feels affection for him.

Taking a deep breath, I take her hands in mine and look into her eyes. She doesn’t meet mine but I can see she is struggling not to. I have control; she could meet my eyes if she wanted to. I pause, waiting for her to trust me. She doesn’t. She looks down at our hands instead, "Ok I give up Jenna, but when he puts you aside for someone else to be his pet, don’t say I didn’t warn you." She shrugs and pulls her hands from mine. I notice the panic in her eyes as she considers Jayden putting her aside for another. She hurries to my giant wardrobe, which takes up an entire wall, and busies herself with picking out my clothes for the day. I shrug into my robe and wonder over to my vanity.

I finger its smooth pink painted wood, my mother’s vanity. I sit resting my chin in my hand and consider my reflection. I smile to myself softly and pick up my brush, a gift from my brother Jon, silver handled with opal insets. I run the stiff bristles through my hair beginning my morning routine.

My long brown hair flows through my brush like silk, soft curls framing my pale face. The rising sun catches the soft amber highlights twining through my curls and warms the smooth skin of my cheek. Licking my small pale pink lips I notice they are a little dry. I smear a little lavender ointment on them and continue brushing out my curls considering my eyes gravely.

The eyes that cause so much heartache, so similar to my twins. Icy-blue with a green ring around the blue iris, lighter and more striking than Jayden’s darker blue eyes. The pupils are a sky blue instead of black, framed by long dark lashes that swoop out and up bringing even more attention to my already strange eyes. Who could resist staring deeply into them, captivated by the exotic, unable to look away? I wish for the hundredth time I could change them for another’s.

Setting my brush down I lean closer to my mirror looking deep within my own eyes searching them for answers I know will not be there. I sit back disappointed, it’s no use thinking like this, I tell myself sternly, I have to accept my fate. Jayden has obviously accepted his.

Jayden, my twin, my other half. He uses his power so freely. He embraces his ability, making it part of him while I try to push mine away wishing it never existed. Of course, my power is much deeper and more dangerous than Jayden’s. His connections are so temporary and harmless and can be blocked or even severed. Mine last a lifetime. Once I have connected to you, you are mine. Mine to control; mine to read like an open book. The eyes are a window to the soul. Thoughts, intentions, desires, I can see them all.

I can control it now, the draw to look deep within someone’s eyes, see their depths and take control. Make the connection that will tie them to me forever. I control my power now, I tell myself again trying to force myself to believe it.

There are some connections that I wish I could take back but they are unbreakable, even by me. Distance is the only thing that weakens my bonds but it never really goes away. I feel the ties to everyone I have touched, like strings connecting me to them over any distance.

My most regretted and cherished connections are to my family. My grandfather, King David of Nordura for one, is mine to control if I wished. My brother Jonathan is connected to me since I was born and intensely protective. Jayden is just Jayden, his connection to me is absolute on every level. I suppose it’s because we are twins but truthfully Jayden understands my power more than anyone else and therefore holds a place in my heart no one truly understands.

The exception is my father. Prince Sebastian, son of King David, loves me and I love him but it was too difficult for him to look at me as a child so I have never made the connection. By the time my father and I were comfortable enough to have a relationship I had restrained my power. I do not blame my father for his distance. He was so distraught over my mother, who died while giving birth to us, that he never saw me or Jayden for more than an instant. Every time we were brought to him it would cause so much pain at the memory of our mother that he would send us back to the nursery, he became inconsolable. Our caretakers made every effort to keep us from our father after the initial few times. My father needed to heal away from the reminders of the cause of his wife’s death.

The breaking of a connection can devastate a person to the point of insanity. I can see the hurt in my father’s eyes caused by the havoc to his heart after the breaking of my mother’s connection to him. Her death broke him in every way possible.

I inherited my power from my mother, Ella. She kept her ability secret and had such control that she only made a few connections in her lifetime. Her most important connection was with my father. I always wondered why she wasn’t connected to more people since it is impossible to control this power as a child. Jayden and I never could control our connections when we were young.

Thinking back to the connections I have made in my lifetime there are different degrees. Some would barely feel the breaking of the connection I have to them. I made shallow connections with everyone who looked into my eyes as a child. My power was strong but my depth was not, therefore, those connections will always be there although they are shallow, almost insignificant.

People close to me have connections that run as deep as their emotional depth allows. Growing up with me and not knowing about the connections that were bonding them to me, these connections are absolute. Now that I have a depth that will support a deep connection I am careful who I bond with. It would take something very serious for me to make a connection now. I don’t like to take away someone’s natural affections or lack thereof. I do not want love that is not warranted. It’s an empty love, baseless. The connection creates a false sense of caring and adoration. It’s unsettling and sometimes terrifying to feel the emotions of those I am connected to. The thoughts that come to me are generally unpleasant and unwanted.

When I was younger I would look with the full force of my power and make the connection automatically without knowing it. It wasn’t until I could sense their feelings and hear their thoughts that I realized what had happened. I could see in their eyes the change from confusion to compulsion. People who didn’t even know me, their thoughts would become consumed with me. Then I knew they would be mine for life, whether I wanted them or not. I couldn’t help it, not for a long time. I just avoided people as much as possible, never making eye contact. Jayden helped me to understand my limits. His power is so much less potent than mine.

With my newfound control I can glance at a person’s eyes and see their depths with just a curiosity instead of with my full power. I have not tried to go deep enough to hear thoughts. I do not think I am strong enough to pull back at that depth and not make a full connection. I can look without possessing but it’s easier to avoid making eye contact with those I am not connected with.

Still staring at my reflection I allow my thoughts to drift. It has been 19 years since my mother’s death and my father seems to be recovered enough to look at me without seeing her death. We have a good relationship now though connectionless. It was this fragile relationship that honed my control over my power. I would never hurt my father like my mother did. I know she didn’t know the effect her death would have on those she had connected to but I am faced with this reality every time I see the haunted look in my father’s eyes. If we connected and something happened to me I don’t think my father would recover from another blow of that caliber.

I shake my head trying to rid myself of the terror of hurting my father. Needing something to calm my rising fear, I close my eyes and reach out to all my connections. Like threads drifting out from my heart, these bonds are my ties to happiness. I take comfort in them briefly; they make me remember I will never be alone. I feel along the stronger threads to those I care about the most. The strongest is Jayden, like a chain tying me to my twin. The next is to Sasha my Crulian wolf, a different kind of connection but strong nonetheless. I feel along the tender connections to my grandfather then further to my brother Jon, these ties worry me the most. The bond I have with these two could cause such despair. If I died or fell into the wrong hands the entire royal family, aside from my father, would break. It would take a decade to recover from such a wound. I retreat back into myself not wanting my thoughts to disturb them.

The familiar panic that comes when I think of what harm my connections would cause makes my eyes burn and my throat tighten uncomfortably. It is not just Nordura who would suffer, Auster would as well.

My mother was Princess of Auster before she made the connection and married my father. I am dual royalty. Being such close nations there has always been rivalry between Nordura and Auster. They were on the brink of war not 25 years ago. That is until my mother made peace with one look at my father. Our kingdoms will become one in my lifetime. My Uncle King Draken of Auster has no successor. My Aunt, Queen Isabella is barren. The heir to the Austerian throne is my eldest brother Jonathan. Jonathan, heir also to the Norduran throne, will be the sole ruler of our kingdoms. He will unite our lands when King Draken and my grandfather die or are unfit to rule.

It was decided that my father would not inherit. It’s best to unite our lands under one ruler. My father is happy the crown passes directly to Jonathan. Jon is a natural leader. Everyone knows Jon alone can unite our kingdoms. He is a political genius. The way he brings together the people of our nations despite decades of contention is a skill that cannot be taught.

I miss Jon. I don’t get to see him much lately. For one I do not like people to know how deep our connection runs. If it was common knowledge that my tie to him is a liability my life would be in danger. He has been traveling around Auster and Nordura for years forging peace among the people of both lands. He needs the loyalty of the common people as well as the Austerian Nobles. When he isn’t traveling he is with Uncle Draken learning as much as possible for when he inherits the crown. Jon grew up in Nordura so to take the crown now the Austerian people must be as comfortable with him as Nordurian’s are.

“My Lady, I think this one is perfect,” Jenna says intruding on my thoughts. I take one last glance at my reflection and face Jenna. She is holding up a long silver gown I am fond of, admiring the lace on the bodice. I like it because it is modest but well made and with enough intricate detail for it to be one of a kind.

“Thank you, Jenna. I think that will be all,” She looks up at me stung by my dismissal. She nods respectfully. “Yes Lady,” she says in a small voice on the verge of tears. She knows I’m disappointed with her for being so gullible with Jayden. I don’t mean to hurt her but I don’t want her to see how angry I really am, more with Jayden than with her.

Jenna gently lays the dress on my dressing room chair and turns to leave. I decide against the dress, reaching for my riding clothes instead. Jenna reaches the door as I call out from my dressing room, “Please tell Jayden to meet me in the stables in an hour.”

“Yes my Lady,” she replies closing the door quietly.

Chapter 2 - Jael

“Jayden, really, Jenna too,” I snap as he enters the stables. He is dressed for riding, his dark hair still wet from bathing. “I told you to leave that girl alone. She is my fifth maid in a year!” He ignores me and walks to greet his mare, Shadow.

He glares at me over his horse’s back his dark blue eyes are striking even to me, I catch my breath slightly. “I thought she wasn’t yours Jael. Free game,” He smiles at me wickedly. He knows I hate it when he treats people’s minds as property. He drops his voice and whispers, “Just because you are scared of your power does not mean I will restrain mine.”

I forget sometimes that not everyone knows our secret. I lower my voice as well. “All I am asking, for the hundredth time, is that you leave my maid alone,” I retort, angry more at his acceptance of his power then his actions with Jenna.

His face eases into his “I'm sorry” expression that he knows I cannot resist, “Don’t be angry with me Jael.” He sticks out his bottom lip in mock sadness, then laughs unable to hold his ridiculous look. “Come little sister, you know if I break the connection now it will just hurt her more. I’ll distance myself, I promise.” His expression becomes excited, “Are we going to sit here and be mad at each other or are we going riding?”

I laugh at his enthusiasm. It’s impossible to stay mad at Jayden. “Fine, but we are going to talk about this. There has to be rules Jayden,” I say seriously. He rolls his eyes at me and starts saddling his horse. I finish preparing my stallion, Samson, and join him in the stable yard. I inhale deeply, relishing the earthy smell of horses and the sweet scent of fresh summer hay.

“Where to today Jayden?” I ask. I can’t quite keep the enthusiasm out of my voice, I love to ride. Samson feels my excitement and paws the ground impatiently. I pet his velvety pink nose feeding him sugar lumps until he’s soothed into calmness. His little whiskers tickle my nose as I kiss his muzzle smiling at his love of sugar lumps. Samson will do anything for sugar. He butts me with his head sniffing my pockets searching for more. He almost knocks me over in his enthusiastic searching. Jayden laughs at his behavior.

“I was thinking we could go see Misty. It’s been awhile since we visited.” He replies hopefully.

Wiping my sticky fingers on my riding skirt I look at him closely trying to determine why seeing Misty would cause that tone. Misty was a recent friend I had made. She was the daughter of the Lord of Tregaurd, just a half day’s ride from the city and near our lake villa. I treasured Misty’s friendship because we were not connected and it allowed me to test my control by being around her. I was enjoying creating a friendship with her based on authenticity and not a connection.

It is times like this that I wish Jayden were ugly. Couldn’t he be my deformed twin or something? I laugh at the thought. It’s too hard to picture. Jayden’s beauty and charm seem to steal every girl around me. It can be very aggravating. “Jayden if you connect to her I'm going to beat you!” He laughs at my threat.

“I have not connected with her and I won’t if you insist.” He says sincerely trying to appease me.

“I do insist. Just once can we make a friend honestly?” I ask.

“Lead the way. I give it another two visits before you slip,” he retorts with a smirk.

He’s probably right I think briefly chewing my bottom lip, worried. I won’t let him see the doubt I suddenly feel so I mount Samson swiftly and take off before he has a chance to set himself. We race through the high grass of the meadow and into the dense forest that backs the palace with our guard following discreetly. They know to give me and Jayden our space.

Greeted by the tangy pine scent of the familiar woods we navigate the worn trails easily. Jayden soon catches up to me being the better rider. I push Samson ahead slightly and lead the way through the trees. We slow our pace and continue in silence, the noise from our horses muffled by the thick bed of pine needles covering the forest floor.

I’m too caught up in preparing myself to meet Misty to make conversation. I know the real reason Jayden suggested we see Misty. I have control of my power but I’m going to try something new today. Jayden gave me a task to test my control. We talked about it at length and I agree it will be a true assessment of my strength. I’ll see if I can go just deep enough to read Misty’s thoughts. I have always had to have a connection to read thoughts but I think I can do it. I need to penetrate just below the surface and not create the bond. I go over again in my head the feeling right before the connection is made. There is a point where I feel a person’s core. If my power touches their core then the connection is made but if I can get into the mind and stop just before reaching the core I should get the thoughts without the connection. It’s the stopping part that concerns me.

“It won’t work if she is feeling strong emotion,” I blurt out breaking our silence. “She will have to be in complete control of her feelings.” Intense emotion pulls too strongly. “Maybe we should tell her first.” I add reluctantly. I don’t want to connect with Misty, my only non-connected friend.

“Misty is always calm. I think if you tell her it will ruin the experiment. She will prepare herself and you need to know you can do this on someone who is mentally unguarded.” He states confident in my ability.

I take comfort in his faith in me. I am glad he agrees not to tell her. A person always looks at us different after they know. We have so few friends. We stick close to the family for the most part, safer that way.

Stopping for a rest at our favorite spot, I dismount and give the reins to Kavan, one of my guards. I walk with Jayden to our own private retreat. It’s a place we found when we were children. Through a screen of birch trees we come to a clearing with a small waterfall that empties into a shallow pool. I take off my riding boots and sit on the edge of the pool letting my feet dangle in the cool water.

Jayden sits next to me and we stare up at the clouds. “Where is Sasha?” He asks curious. It’s not surprising he would ask, she is usually glued to my hip.

“I’m not sure. She left my room this morning thinking there was someone she could sense she hadn’t met. You know how she is with strangers, she has to know them all before they get near me,” I reply unconcerned. Sasha can take care of herself. I lie back in the dew wet grass and inhale deeply. “This is my favorite place,” I sigh content. I try to let go of all my worries and let the calmness of our hideaway ease my tension. I close my eyes and listen to the robins in the tree above me sing cheerfully. I always wonder what makes them so happy. I envy such a carefree life.

Jayden lays back and opens his thoughts to me. He isn’t thinking anything specific, just enjoying my company. I bask in his feelings, content to sit here all day. I open my eyes and stare up at the clouds trying to make sense of their shapes like I did as a child. Jayden and I could always find something funny in the clouds.

Jayden’s thoughts drift to our mother. I see her through his eyes. It’s not a vision that can be explained. He mostly remembers her thoughts gently probing us in the womb. She loved us so much. It sounds strange to think that she could feel so much for us without even seeing us for more than a minute before she died. Jayden’s thoughts dwell briefly on the immense pain of feeling our mother die. I close my eyes and try to dispel the despair making my chest tighten uncomfortably. I swallow over and over trying to keep back the tears threatening to overflow. “I'm sorry” Jayden thinks to me an apology in the tone of his thought.

Our mother was connected to us even then. Those memories are fuzzy but the general feeling still haunts us both. Its one reason me and Jayden are so close. We took comfort in each other. Jayden is the only one who can understand that broken connection. Our father too but I cannot share myself with him completely.

One of our guard clears his throat quietly trying not to intrude. “Your Highnesses, we must get moving if you want to reach your destination and still return to the castle today.”

“Of course, thank you Tristan.” I say getting up. Jayden sighs regretfully and joins me.

It takes another hour for us to reach Misty’s home at Tregaurd. She runs out to meet us breathless. “Princess Jael, Prince Jayden,” She greets us bowing gracefully. “I did not know you were coming. What a wonderful surprise.”

I dismount and greet her with a warm embrace. She is always so happy. I envy her innocence.

“Innocent yes, but not naive nor shallow. I like her.” Jayden thinks to me as he takes Misty’s hand and kisses it gently. I glare at him for intruding on my thoughts. He ignores me and meets Misty’s eyes, “Lady you look beautiful today.” He says to her smoothly. I roll my eyes. His way with women is embarrassing. I throw the last thought out to him. He just smiles at Misty and looks more deeply into her eyes. She is stunned into silence.

“You promised Jayden,” I warn. He breaks his hold on her and turns to me.

“Yes Ma’am,” He thinks to me all innocence.

I turn to Misty and avoid looking into her eyes. I’m not ready yet. “I’ve missed you. How have you been?” I ask.

“Bored. I am so thankful you both are here.” She says in a rush, still flustered by Jayden’s greeting. “Are you just passing through on your way to your villa?”

“No silly, we came to see you.” I answer. Taking her hands in mine I lead her into the garden off the courtyard. Misty’s garden is one of the best in our kingdom. She has gardeners but prefers to work the rich earth herself. She has a fondness for roses. We walk slowly admiring the variety of roses in full bloom. I inhale deeply, the smell is intoxicating. She must have hundreds of roses here; it always takes my breath away no matter how many times I see it. “Misty you are brilliant. This place is breathtaking truly.” She smiles shyly and neatly changes the subject.

“Where is Sasha?” She asks curious.

“Home, she was busy when we left.” I reply. Everyone loves Sasha. I trace my connection back to her worried slightly. I sense she is still searching for her stranger disappointed we left without her.

I chat idly with Misty as Jayden trails behind us pretending to admire the garden. I know he is just waiting for me to get up my nerve to face my task. After exhausting all topics of conversation with Misty I focus on Jayden. He occupies himself smelling flowers, clearly bored. I can’t stall anymore. “Misty let’s sit. I do love this garden. We need one like this at home. Don’t you think Jayden?” I ask turning to him.

He meets my eyes and laughs at the anxiety he finds there. “Get on with it little sister” he thinks to me sternly. “Yes we do.” He says out loud for Misty’s benefit. He takes a rose and inhales deeply, rolling his eyes in ecstasy. Misty giggles at his antics.

I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. I turn to Misty and take her hand. She looks to me smiling. I stare at our hands, still too nervous to look in her eyes. The skin of her hands are as pale as mine, her nails painted a pretty pink. I look up at her face. She is stunning with her long honey blonde hair falling in loose curls down her back. She is dressed in a rose colored gown that suits her complexion perfectly.

Finally I inhale sharply and look at her eyes. I try to see just her eyes and not what is behind them. They are a light hazel with gold flecks framed by long lashes that almost touch her cheek when she blinks. She moves her eyes from mine to pick a twig from my hair. No one has ever broken eye contact with me except Jayden. I always have to be the first to look away. I'm so excited I look up to Jayden, standing behind her, in amazement. He smiles encouragingly at me. I look back to Misty and search her eyes again trying to go just deep enough to hear her thoughts. She looks at me puzzled by my stare. “What is it your highness?” She asks with a confused tilt of her head.

“Nothing. I'm just happy to see you.” I reply lamely. I look to Jayden again. “I’m no good at this,” I think to him. He returns my stare calmly.

I look to Misty again, this time trying to make it look casual. I look just a little deeper this time. I catch her thoughts. Her eyes are so breathtaking. It’s hard to look at her for too long. I wonder if she gets tired of people telling her how beautiful they are. “Your eyes are so pretty your highness.” She smiles and adds sheepishly, “I'm sure you hear that all the time.”

Jayden laughs at her thoughts and the following comments. I glare at him. I knew he connected with her. He shrugs at my accusing look. He has no shame.

“Thank you Misty. Most people notice my eyes but I think they frighten them more than anything.” I glance at Jayden with a smirk, “Jayden gets most of the attention as you have no doubt noticed.” She blushes assuming I mean her noticing him.

“Be nice,” he chides, never embarrassed.

Happy with my success I stand ready to leave. “Misty, I know it’s been a short visit but Jayden and I do need to return to home before nightfall. Come visit us soon?”

“I would like that. I will arrange it with my father. Thank you both for coming,” She says clearly disappointed we are leaving so soon.

“It’s been delightful seeing you again Lady,” Jayden says taking her hand brushing his lips along her fingers gently. Again she is breathless from his touch.

“Thank…thank you your Highness,” She stammers.

I turn from him in disgust. Mounting my stallion I leave without caring if he follows. He catches up with me quickly laughing at my irritation. He will never change. My task completed we discuss silently my next experiment.

~

“What if I try breaking one of my weaker connections?” I think silently to Jayden continuing our discussion of what my next task should be. I dismount and hand Samson over to an attendant. I glance at my brother still waiting for an answer. Following his gaze I see our grandfather’s steward walking towards us.

The transformation is automatic. Jayden loses the fun brother attitude and becomes a Prince. The grin leaves his face; replaced by a mask of polite interest. As the steward reaches us Jayden says, “Smith,” in a voice that sounds so unlike the Jayden I know, so formal.

“Prince Jayden,” the steward replies bowing slightly. “Your father and the King would like to see you, both of you,” he looks to me, carefully avoiding my eyes, “He will be waiting for you in the west wing study.” Why such a secluded place I wonder briefly.

“Of course,” Jayden replies automatically. I notice him looking at Smith so hard as if daring him to meet his eyes. Jayden will force a connection at any opportunity. I groan inwardly. Smith is well aware of Jayden’s ability and turns away after giving a short bow careful to avoid his eyes. Jayden’s smile returns as the steward walks away. He looks at me and catches my eyes with his. His expression clouds over with worry.

“Did you hear what he was thinking Jael?” He sends the thought to me with such force I take a step back. His expression looks like someone stole something from him.

“No, we are not connected. I didn’t think you were either. I thought since he knew our secret he would be careful to avoid us,” I respond confused by his intensity. My grandfather thought it wise to include his most trusted steward with our secret. I know Jayden resents his power being revealed to those not of his choosing but I don’t understand the feelings I sense from him.

“He is not as careful as he thinks. He is unaware of our connection,” His thought comes to me with a sense of disdain.

“What was he thinking?” I think to him curiously.

“I will let you hear it from Grandfather,” The tone of his thought is angry. I look at him with a question in my eyes. I’ll not break his trust and take his thoughts from him. He shakes his head, unwilling to give me anything more.

“If you wish,” I think breaking the contact. I know better than to push Jayden.

We set off to our rooms to change and meet the King.

Chapter 3 - Jael

As Jayden and I walk into the secluded study hand in hand, I am surprised to see a stranger there.

My grandfather looks strait into my eyes and thinks to me, “Child I trust you not to get overexcited but please leash your brother.”

I look at Jayden to see what he means and notice how furious he is. I grip his hand tighter and touch my other hand to his cheek turning him to face me, forcing him to look into my eyes. He does so unwillingly. “Whatever this is,” I think to him, “I trust grandfather so please be still. If you cannot control yourself, Jayden, I will.” He pulls out of my grip and tears his eyes from mine. I stare after him shaking my head in confusion.

I turn to my father and smile. Our relationship is so new sometimes it takes me by surprise at how happy I am to see him. He returns my smile and kisses my cheek. “Daughter, you get more beautiful everyday.” He whispers, his voice catching slightly, “Just like your mother.” I return his kiss and try not to see the hurt in his eyes. Strong emotion tends to overwhelm me. It is still difficult not to make a connection to someone in emotional pain. I turn to the stranger with relief.

I inhale sharply and take an involuntary step toward him. He is beautiful. He’s also Reydurian, far from home. He has the bronze, sun-kissed skin and thick, wavy, black hair common to his people. His hair is arranged in a styled messiness that looks casual but at the same time as if every hair is in its place. He is tall, a head taller than my 5’7’’ height. He is dressed unusually in the Baer style. Tan breeches with boots that come to the knee, fitted, v neck, white cotton shirt revealing strong muscles and a gold chain around his neck with a bright, emerald green pendant.

I look to his eyes carefully trying to just skim the surface of his depth, bold by my success with Misty. My eyes lock with his so strongly that I feel my power overwhelm me. I clench my fists tightly trying to break eye contact. His eyes are such a vivid green, hawk-like with a sharpness that misses nothing. I am lost in the depths of them. I cannot break free. Plunging down further and further to his core the connection is almost made. His thoughts just start to come to me in confusion and panic when Jayden steps between us breaking my concentration and the direct line of sight to his eyes. I lean on Jayden breathless with the force of my power overtaking me. I have never felt such a pull to make a connection. My vision spins as I try to concentrate on slowing my heart. Jayden lifts my chin and looks into my eyes. His gaze has a steadying affect on me. I allow my power to consume him. Our connection is so deep it takes me a minute to remember how to hold my power back. Once I regain control I release my hold on Jayden and he inhales sharply. He rests his forehead on mine. Both of us taking comfort in the others closeness.

I turn and look to my Grandfather apologetically. “I'm sorry,” I think to him. “I lost control.” Tears come to my eyes unbidden. I dash them away angrily. How could I lose control? My power is so tightly restrained, this should not have happened. I’m too frightened to look at my father, afraid of not being in command of my power. Who is this stranger with the green eyes that rips my control from me with one look? Tears slide down my cheeks unstoppable.

Jayden notices my tears, his fury is automatic. He hugs me closer to him covering my face with his shoulder and turns on grandfather thinking viciously to him, “I am taking her away from here. Do not bring him into her presence again.” Grandfather, not understanding takes a step towards me. Jayden pushes him away and sweeps me from the room. I look back just in time to see the stranger staring after me breathless and confused.

Chapter 4 - Jael

In my room Jaden helps me into a chair and starts pacing. His face is like a thundercloud. I know better than to interrupt his thoughts. He sighs, trying to calm himself, clenching and unclenching his fists. He suddenly stops in front of me, drops to his knees and puts his head in my lap. “Oh Jael you must not see him again. Tell Grandfather to send him away.”

“I don’t understand Jayden. Who is he?” I ask, confused by his despair. My heart is still racing. I am upset that I lost control but I almost want to go back and lock eyes with this stranger again. I have never felt anything like him. The pull is hard to resist.

“He’s Crulian,” He cries frantic.

Surprised, I twine my fingers through his curls thinking about the strangers green eyes. His depth was something I have never experienced, even deeper than Jayden. “Crulian? A shift changer?” So that was the secret he was so scared for me to discover. “Jayden are you sure? Crulians are rare and they don’t usually have dealings with kings.” Crulians have always been exciting to me. My wolf Sasha was part Crulian. I try to keep the elation out of my voice but Jayden knows me too well.

His head snaps up and he stares into my eyes. The force of his thoughts is uncomfortable. “You will not see him again Jael, I will not allow it. You cannot leave me.”

The betrayal in his eyes catches me off guard and I gasp, the reality of Jayden out of my life is agonizing. “I would never leave you Jayden.” I reach down into his eyes and touch his core. I infuse him with my love. I think of every moment of us sharing our thoughts, our love, our very being. I pour myself into him until he can hold no more. He sighs regretfully as I break my hold on him. Helping him up, I hug him fiercely. “I need to know Jayden. Why would a Crulian have such an effect on me? Why do I feel powerless against him? It was as if I have never had control of my power.”

Jayden avoids looking at me. He breaks our embrace and starts pacing again. I drop back into my chair waiting for him to answer. Just then Sasha bursts into the room. She runs to me whining softly, worried. She must have sensed my distress. “I’m fine, really.” I think to her. She is upset that I met a stranger without her. “I'm sorry Sasha. You can still meet him, he is with Grandfather and Father in the west wing study.” She looks at me and then the door and back to me undecided. “Go,” I tell her, gently putting a little force behind my thought. She turns to Jayden growls softly and leaves the same way she came. Jayden didn’t even stop his pacing to acknowledge her presence.

My thoughts drift back to the stranger. It’s as if we already have a bond but I search my connections and He is not among them. My heart starts beating uncontrollably at the thought of dropping into the depths of his eyes.

Jayden sensing my emotions speaks, “Crulians are very dangerous Jael. They have loyalty to no one. They are ruthless in their dealings with people.” He pauses obviously considering Sasha who has absolute loyalty to me. “Sasha isn’t full Crulian,” he says interpreting my look of doubt. He continues seriously, “That’s not even the issue. He wants you Jael. I made the connection automatically and sensed his thoughts. He has heard of you. He doesn’t understand how your power works but he has heard of your beauty and unusual abilities to control those around you. And he is drawn to you…he is not sure why. Did you make the connection?”

“No,” I reply. “You broke the contact just before we connected.” I don’t mention that I caught his thoughts. Thinking about his thought of panic at me discovering his secret, I feel the guilt of invading his mind overwhelm me. Making the connection feels so right. My power is hungry for him. The draw is hard to suppress. I push it away in disgust.

“Good,” Jayden says with obvious relief. “Crulians are said to have abilities that are unique to each one. He could be dangerous to have in your head.”

“Why is he here Jayden? Do you know what he told Grandfather?”

“No, we didn’t stay long enough for me to get any details,” He laughs bitterly. “I only know that Smith was sent to bring you to meet a special Prince.”

A Prince. Jayden’s anger starts to make sense. “Maybe we overreacted; perhaps my power just senses another equal. Do you think he was the Prince I am supposed to meet?”

Face clouding over again he says, “A Crulian Prince? I don’t think so.” He broods over the thought of me meeting a Prince and the implications involved. “I need to speak with Grandfather. Come, I’ll not allow you out of my sight.” I jump up to leave with him, excited that I may see the stranger again.

“Don’t be ridiculous Jael,” He says sensing my excitement. “I’ll not bring you in his presence again. Let’s go find Smith and have him tell Grandfather to meet with us,” I purse my lips in annoyance but follow him, disappointed.


Chapter 5 - Dresden

I can’t believe he just sent for his granddaughter. Did I imagine our conversation yesterday? Clenching my teeth in frustration I try to explain again, “Your Majesty I thought you understood the gravity of the situation. Was I not clear in our discussion yesterday the threat that faces you? The King of Raykjavik means to have you and your grandson Jonathan murdered. King Serovik feels it’s too much of a threat for Prince Jonathan to unite Nordura and Auster. Why do you bring me here to meet your granddaughter, I did not come for a social call.”

“Prince Dresden, please sit down. We understand and are grateful for your message. We have spoken at length and have come to a decision. It involves my granddaughter as you will see.” King David says patiently. He is older than I remember. He must be about 70 now. His once black hair is now silver. His body does not live up to the intelligence in his eyes. He is still solid but walks with a cane. He smiles gently trying to ease my frustration.

I decide it won’t hurt to meet Princess Jael. I have always wanted to meet her anyways. Her beauty is spoken of often. Her uncanny ability to compel all those around her to love her unconditionally is also well known. She doesn’t meet outsiders often. I’ve always wondered what my reaction to her would be. I am not so easily ensnared. Although I’ve never heard anyone speak against her. How could a girl be so wonderful to inspire entire kingdoms to love her? This I have to see so I relax and wait for the lady to appear with the same expectation reflected in the faces of her father and grandfather.

She comes into the room hand in hand with her brother, Prince Jayden. I’m at once taken aback by how beautiful she really is. Her skin is a creamy white, it looks so soft. I resist the urge to walk up to her and touch her slightly flushed cheek. She has long brown hair that cascades down her back and curls around her face and neck in soft curls. Her thin frame is balanced by her slight curves. She looks to her grandfather with a smile. Her smile fades to concern as she reads the look of disapproval on her grandfather’s face. She turns to her brother and touches his cheek, gently turning his face so he meets her gaze. I am instantly jealous. This is a strange, new feeling to me. I'm embarrassed at my reaction.

Jael, still holding her brother’s face, looks into his eyes intently. Something passes between them. He suddenly tears himself from her grip and walks to stand beside the King. She stares after him shaking her head slightly. Next she turns to her father. Sebastian greets her and kisses her cheek. She returns his kiss and then finally turns to face me.

She is wearing a modest silver gown that brings out her eyes. Her eyes! As soon as she shyly raises her gaze to meet mine, my heart begins to race and my breathing stops completely. She takes a step towards me and our eyes lock with such intensity I am frozen in place unable to think or breathe. Everything around us disappears. All that exists in this moment is her.

I can feel her penetrate my very being. I want so much to touch her but I’m locked in place by her stare. Her expression is surprised and then she seems to concentrate harder. She is seeing right through me, into me. I can hide nothing from her glacial stare boring into my soul. Soon she will know everything. In that instant I start to panic. She can’t know. I try to shut her out but she is inside of me, consuming me. Just when I don’t think I can take any more Jayden steps between us. As soon as she is blocked from my view I can breathe again.

After a moment I look to her father and grandfather for an explanation but they don’t seem to notice. They are watching the twins in confusion. Suddenly Jayden turns to glare at his grandfather and something passes between them. David looks puzzled and reaches for Jael. Jayden pushes him away and sweeps Jael from the room. I catch one glimpse of her before she is gone.

Shaken, I sit heavily on a couch. “What was that all about,” I ask them. They look at each other knowingly and turn back to me.

Prince Sebastian considers me briefly and then, with obvious reluctance, begins. “Your Highness, there are things about Jael that are not… public knowledge. We will have your word that what we tell you will not leave this room.”

“You have it. Tell me,” I reply.

The King walks to stand before me and looks me in the eyes. “Jael is special. Jayden as well,” he pauses considering his words. “She has an ability to form a connection with a person so strong they are unable to break it. This bond makes it possible for Jael to impel those she is connected to, to do her will. She can also read their thoughts and emotions. It’s possible for her to put her thoughts into their minds. She has a strong control of her power and never makes a connection unless it’s absolutely necessary,” He insists.

He again pauses to consider how to continue, “Jayden’s power is not as strong. His connections do not last and can be blocked if the person is strong enough and knows how. Jayden connects to everyone he can. He responds to thoughts more than to speech. Jael is more careful. There are some of us that are connected to Jael since birth. We are lucky she is not power hungry because she could control us all if she wished.”

I'm sure my expression was one of disbelief. The King, taking in my look, clears his throat awkwardly. “We wanted you to meet Jael because she is the solution to our problem.” He sits in the chair next to mine and continues seriously, “We need her to go to Reykjavik and connect to King Serovik. She can put him under her power and this problem will be behind us. It’s the only way to avoid a confrontation that would surely cause lives. We were hoping you could escort her there, you being the ambassador to Reykjavik for Claudbaer. This is with King Shalador’s permission of course. I would not ask this if I knew a better person that could be trusted with my granddaughter’s safety. I imagine Jayden will insist on going as well. They are inseparable.”

I don’t know what to say. I stare at him blankly. I look to Prince Sebastian trying to tell if this is all a joke. He returns my look calmly. “We would not have shared this knowledge with you if we thought there was anyone else more suited for this undertaking.” I nod, understanding his meaning.

I have a reputation in Claudbaer for completing my adopted father, King Shalador’s, tasks without fail. It seemed to my father and his advisors that I could accomplish anything if I was given the task. Therefore, I was given the most difficult and impossible tasks. I was who they went to when they could count on no one else. Yes, I understood their confidence in me. It wasn’t the task itself that I struggled with. I wasn’t sure I could be around Jael. She cannot know my secrets. “I will do as you ask on one condition,” I decide impulsively. They nod, waiting for me to state my conditions. “She vows to not make a connection with me. Whatever that takes I must have your word and hers.”

“Done,” The King replies with obvious relief. Clasping his hands together eagerly he says, “And now you must meet Jael. I will see what caused her distress and we shall meet in an hour.”

I had an idea what caused her distress. It was causing me the same anxiety now. I love her, I think honestly to myself. It only took one look but I can feel it deep within me. We are meant to be together. But how could that be? My kind do not mate humans. I am Crulian.

Chapter 6 - Jael

“No!” Jayden practically screams.

Grandfather looks to him and takes a tone I have only heard a few times in my life. He addresses Jayden as a Prince of Nordura instead of his grandson, “Check yourself Prince.”

Jayden relents automatically, “Yes your Majesty. I meant no disrespect.”

“Grandfather please try to understand. I lost control completely with him. Jayden knows how difficult it would be for me to face him again.” The King turns to me still King and not my papa. He remains distant for a moment longer and then relaxes his stance and looks to Jayden and sighs heavily.

“I do understand but Jayden, Jael you must understand the situation. Let me tell you why Prince Dresden is here. As you should already know Prince Dresden is the ambassador to Reykjavik for his adopted father King Shalador of Claudbaer. While in Reykjavik, Dresden uncovered a plot to assassinate me and Jon. They see us uniting Nordura and Auster as a severe threat. Dresden came to warn us of the pending danger. We have convinced him to assist us in preventing this disaster. He has agreed to get you face to face with the King undetected.” He pauses letting his news sink in. It dawns on me what my role will be at the same time the realization hits Jayden. He loses control again.

Jumping from his chair he storms towards the door silently commanding me to follow him. There is more force behind his command than I expect and I stand involuntarily. I regain control of my will almost instantly. I stand my ground and turn my will upon him.

He stops hand extended towards the door frozen. He pushes against our connection trying to break free. I strengthen my hold on him in response. “Please come back Jayden. I need you.” I think to him as gently as possible.

“I wont be a part of this Jael. If you do this it will be without me. Now let me go.” He responds, bitter that I would use my power to force him. I release my hold ashamed I held him at all. He leaves without looking back.

I stare after him in disbelief. Jayden has never left me when I needed him. The one person that understands exactly what my grandfather is asking of me. I can’t do this. Not without Jayden, and not even then. To deliberately make a connection after fighting so long to gain control? I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself. I’ve never been connected to an evil mind either. To feel the emotions and hear the thoughts of a mind capable of plotting to kill my family would be unbearable. What if this king came to understand our connection? He could try to use it against me. What then? It would be more of a threat to hurt me then to kill my family, it would equal to the same thing. I cannot break the bond once it’s been made.

I think of Prince Dresden, glad to finally put a name to the stranger with the green eyes. Could he really protect me? A Crulian. How could I work with him? How can I even face him again and keep my control? I can’t do it.

“Jael?” my father says again. I didn’t realize he was talking to me. I am frozen staring at the door still stunned by Jayden’s reaction and lost in my own thoughts. They are like a hammer smashing my heart to pieces.

“I won’t do it.” I say without explanation. I can’t face them. I leave in a rush shamefaced. As I make my way to my room the tears start to fall. I may have just condemned my brother and grandfather to death. My mind whirls with visions of them lying cold, skin the white-blue of death. I run blindly through the palace. I trip and fall against a wall, hard. The pain bringing me back to reality, I look around to see where I am. Of course I am right outside Jayden’s door. He suddenly appears beside me and takes me in his arms. The tears begin again.

Chapter 7 - Jael

Sasha is in Jayden’s room pacing. She pushes her head under my hand wanting reassurance that I’m ok. I ignore her and lay on Jayden’s bed. The tears continue unchecked. It’s no use to try to hold them back. I allow the guilt to wash over me. What kind of person am I? How selfish can I be? So many would sacrifice everything for me. Why can I not return the love so easily bestowed upon me? Jayden wipes the tears from my cheeks gently. “They do not understand what they are asking Jael,” he says holding me tight. He readjusts his hold on me so he can look into my eyes. “They will find another way to stop them. This was just the easiest solution. If you didn’t have this power they would find another way.”

“Oh Jayden what if they are right and this is the only way?” I sob. “What if my refusing ends in their death?” A thought suddenly occurs to me, “That would make you King!” He blanches at the idea of taking the crown, “They know you cannot unite Nordura and Auster. Only Jon has been able to unite the people. This would destroy the harmony he has so carefully cultivated.”

He scowls at me not liking where this conversation is leading. Jayden has never wanted to be King. He knows he would never be a good ruler, not like Jon. “They will find another way,” He repeats weakly.

“And if they don’t?” I ask desperately. My voice breaks and my eyes overflow as I continue, “Are you not only prepared to see our Grandfather and brother killed but become King as well?” He squirms uncomfortably. “Jayden I can’t do this without you. Help me.”

I can see in his eyes his defense is no match for my tears. He drops his head in his hands defeated. “We can’t get close enough without the Claudbaer prince. Can you face him again?”

I consider his question seriously. “You will have to teach him to guard himself. He was completely open to me. It wouldn’t stop the connection if I was trying but it would help me to be around him. I’ll have to be careful not to look at him directly. You will have to be ready to interfere if it happens again.” I take a breath shakily. “I guess I’ll have to meet with him again, this time prepared for the pull. Does grandfather know he is Crulian?”

“No. I don’t think we should tell anyone either. I don’t think Prince Dresden will respond kindly if we reveal his secret. I think I will have to tell the Prince we know. He will, no doubt, need to use his shifting abilities to accomplish our task.” He seems almost eager now to begin. “Let’s go. I think grandfather will be relieved to hear our change of heart.”

Sasha follows us, her nails making small clicking noises on the stone floor. I look at her and then at Jayden. “Do you think he will upset her?”

He turns following my gaze and rests his eyes on Sasha. “I don’t know enough about Crulian’s to judge their reaction to each other. She doesn’t like people that upset you. Maybe we should let her meet the Prince when you have more control,” He says seriously.

“Sasha,” I think to her, “Wait for me in my room.” She whines unhappy to be separated from me. She wants to meet this Prince me and Jayden keep speaking of. She knows it’s the stranger she was looking for. “Later, I promise.” She huffs unsatisfied but obeys.

~

“Are you sure Jael?” My father asks concerned. Grandfather already sent Smith to find Dresden and have him meet us but my father doesn’t like the reaction I had to him any better than Jayden did. He is sensitive to me making strong connections. He doesn’t want anyone to suffer as he did.

“Yes, I’m sure.” Its time I return their love I think to myself. I owe them this. “I need to meet Prince Dresden again. I need to be sure my control is not lost completely.” I turn to Jayden, “Can you please speak with him and explain what he needs to do?” He nods sharply and leaves to meet with the Prince. I hope Jayden can get past his prejudice.

Chapter 8 - Dresden

I pace the room anxious. What is taking so long? I thought she agreed to meet with me. The anticipation of seeing her again is driving me crazy. I stop pacing and try to calm myself. I laugh weakly. How can this have happened? I haven’t even spoken to her yet.

Determined to keep my cool I sit and try to empty my mind. I close my eyes and think of the feeling of flying. The memory always has a calming effect. I imagine the sensation of the wind through my feathers. The high that comes with soaring over the world and knowing nothing can touch me. Leaving human concerns behind and embracing the beast within. To be wild is to embrace the real me. I open my eyes and feel more myself than I have since she walked through that door and into my heart.

I start at the sound of someone approaching. Instead of Jael, Jayden walks through the door alone. He looks at me with a mixture of dread and hope. “Jael will see you, Prince, but there are things you need to know first.” He states without preamble.

“Go on,” I reply calmly.

He stares at me for a second and continues, “You need to learn to block your mind. If you stare in her eyes and open like a book the connection will be made. I understand my Grandfather explained her connections to you?” I nod, and he continues, “She cannot stop it. The pull of your mind is too strong.” He smiles maliciously and adds, “Since I have already connected to you let’s start with you trying to block me.”

I'm stunned by his revelation. “I do not feel a connection,” I say through clenched teeth. “There is no compulsion of love between us.” He laughs at my assumptions.

“My connections do not inspire false love like Jael’s. My connections only mean I can control your actions if your mind is weak and I can read your thoughts. I can also project my thoughts into your mind. My connections are not permanent. I can break them or you could if you try. Perhaps that’s the best place to start.” He says thinking aloud.

He sits across from me and stares out the window collecting his thoughts. I can only assume he is thinking of how to explain his mysterious powers to me. Making up his mind on how to start he finally says, “First you have to feel the connection.” I just stare at him blankly. He sighs and tries to explain, “Try to close your eyes and sense where I am in relation to you. Instead of seeing me with your eyes you need to find me with your mind.”

I close my eyes and try to locate him. It’s difficult since I know where he is already. How do you sense a person? I open my eyes and give him a look of frustration. He smiles and reaches for my hand. I jerk it out of his reach. He laughs outright and takes my hand deliberately. His hands are warm making me uncomfortable but I'm not sure why.

He stares directly into my eyes and suddenly I feel him in my head. “Close your eyes and relax,” his thoughts in my head are a soft whisper. His thoughts feel like my thoughts. It’s as if I'm telling my body what to do. My eyes respond automatically. I relax, my hands still in his. “Try to feel the connection.” I obey without thought. There it is. I feel his mind touching mine. I follow the touch back to him.

I open my eyes as I think to him “I feel it now.” He’s shocked that I made the jump from feeling the connection to using it. I sense his reaction more than see it reflected across his features. It’s strange to be connected to someone’s emotions so intimately. He smiles at my thought. I return his smile understanding him a little better. He releases my hands; I forgot he was still holding them.

“Ok now you need to learn to block my thoughts. Remember what the connection feels like and try to put a barrier between my mind and yours.” I think I understand. I close my eyes and find the connection. I focus on not allowing thoughts to pass through the connection. “Stand up.” I hear the whisper but my mind recognizes it as foreign and does not obey. I smile and open my eyes. “I still heard your thought but I could control my reaction. Was that right?”

“It’s a start. We will have to practice to the point that you can block the thoughts as well as the reaction. It will take a lot of practice before you will be strong enough to withstand Jael’s mind. Now that you understand the connection and can control it some what, I’ll need to explain the precautions you have to take with Jael. Don’t look in her eyes. We are trying to prevent a connection so resist the pull to open your mind to her completely. Even though there is no connection try to block her thoughts. She can’t meet your eyes or her power will take over and make the connection and neither of you will be able to stop it. I will be monitoring your thoughts and hers to make sure if you do start I’ll be able to stop it. Don’t fight me, ok?” He says pointedly.

“Ok. Anything else?” I ask.

“Don’t get any ideas about Jael. She is not available to you Prince. You will hurt her. She isn’t strong enough to withstand making a connection to you. The kind of connection you would have to her is painful to break, trust me. If anything happened to one of you the other would most likely not recover. Remember that.” He says seriously.
“I do have one question and I want a straight answer.” I ask waiting for his answering nod. “How much do you know about me?”

“I know you are Crulian.” He responds simply. He answers my next question before I can ask it, “Jael knows too.”

So my secret is out. Its better that they know but I’ve lived with it hidden from people for so long it’s difficult to adjust to company who are privy to my deepest secret. A few know what I am but not many. My adopted father, King Shalador and my brother Prince Alexander, both know. A few other people I trust. I don’t even know Jayden and Jael. I sigh dropping my head in my hands, trying to take it all in.

“I know it’s a lot all at once but remember, you know our secret too,” Jayden whispers in my mind.

“Please don’t do that,” I say exasperated, “One thing at a time, please.”

“I’m sorry, sometimes I forget it is not a natural thing to most,” He says apologetically. “Are you ready to meet Jael? You may even get as far as speaking to each other this time.” He chuckles.

I look up at him and smile. “Yes I am ready.” I stand and try to collect myself. “Let’s go,” I sound more confident than I feel. My heart starts hammering against my chest in anticipation of seeing her again.

Jayden laughs again. Standing he says, “If it makes you feel any better she has the same reaction to you.” My heart just beats faster in response. He leads the way from the room trying to cover his grin.

Chapter 9 - Jael

What is taking Jayden so long? He doesn’t need to explain everything right now. Anxiously sitting in my grandfather’s council room waiting to see Dresden again, I am having a hard time not fidgeting. My grandfather takes in my fluttering hands and looks at me knowingly trying to look stern but failing miserably. I look to him and smile embarrassed. “I can’t help it Papa,” I think to him.

“I know,” He says aloud smiling.

I sigh and get up to stare out the window. I don’t know if I can face him when he walks in. Maybe I’ll just not turn around. He can speak to my back, would that be impolite? Probably but I'm not sure I can manage hearing him speak and not meeting his eyes.

I hear the door open and my heart does a little dance in my chest. It takes all my control not to turn around. “I need you,” I think desperately to Jayden ashamed at my lack of self control. He comes to me immediately and squeezes my hand reassuringly. I look to him expecting to feel his dislike for our stranger but I sense an understanding instead. Curious, I ask silently, “How did it go?”

“Good. I think you can look at him. I showed him how to block, just don’t look directly in his eyes if you can help it. If you do, don’t worry I will be here to stop you before the connection is formed.” When I don’t budge he pushes me slightly in Dresden’s direction but keeps my hand firmly in his. “Go say hello little sister.”

I look to my father instead wanting to make sure of my control on someone I have been resisting the connection with for longer. He smiles at me not understanding fully my hesitation. He makes the introductions casually, “Jael, this is Prince Dresden of Claudbaer. He will escort you to Reykjavik to meet King Serovik.”

Finally I look to Dresden avoiding his eyes. I register again his beauty. This time I am ready for the pull to look into his eyes. I resist it and can feel him resisting too. It helps; he is not fully open to me. I sigh with relief and take a step in his direction. He meets me half way, “Prince Dresden,” I nod to him. He takes my free hand and lifts it to brush against his lips. The simple contact is agony. The pull so strong I tear my hand from his and lean on Jayden.

“Easy,” He thinks to me gently.

“I’m so sorry, Prince; I am not myself. This is very difficult for me. I have never felt a pull so strong.” I look to him apologetically and catch his eyes on accident. The hurt reflected in his eyes is too much. I can feel his resistance but I brush it aside easily. I fall fast knowing the way to his core.

His thoughts hit me hard, “Stop! Please!” He screams in my head.

Jayden’s thought follows right behind his, “Jael, look at me NOW!” The force behind his thought breaks my hold and then his face is in front of mine. His eyes search mine and satisfied I have control again he steps from between us.

I stare at the ground not trusting myself to even look at his feet. “Maybe we will have to work on physical contact,” I say dizzy from the intensity of the moment.

“Yes, I understand. I will try to keep my distance.” He replies breathless. “It’s nice to meet you Princess. I hope we can become more accustomed to each other in the time it takes to reach Reykjavik.”

“I am sure time will make it easier. Thank you. If you will excuse me,” I nearly run from the room, Jayden trailing after me.

~

Once back in my room, I breathe a sigh of relief to be out of his presence. The desire I have to be near him and the want to avoid a connection, war with each other in my heart.

“Well that wasn’t a complete disaster,” Jayden says optimistic.

“Not completely, no.” I agree solemnly. “Jayden how am I supposed to travel with him? I can’t even stand his touch.”

“Then don’t let him touch you,” He replies simply. “Jael it will get better with time and there will be our entire guard and me to be a buffer until you can reel in your emotions for him. He did better than I thought. He learns fast,” Jayden says examining his nails, clearly proud of his pupil.

“He did make it easier than the first time. He was resisting. You taught him that in 15 minutes?” I ask bemused.

“Like I said he learns fast.” Reading my expression he knows I am not convinced. “Don’t worry so much. Even if you look in his eyes I will be there to stop any bond from forming, I promise.”

I nod in agreement. There is not much else I can do to protect him. If it happens I hope he remembers I tried.

Chapter 10 - Jael

The next morning I am waiting in the stable yard. Samson is saddled and ready for our journey to begin. Jenna looks at me miserably. She hates to travel. I ignore her pouting. She is the only maid that knows about our powers. Everyone in our party must be someone trusted with our secret and all have been briefed on Dresden’s identity as well. There will be no secrets on this journey; we will need every tool at our disposal.

My guard is ready we are just waiting for Jayden, his men, Dresden and Sasha. My guard consists of Tristan, Avery, Elan, and little Kavan. Tristan is a solid man in his late 40’s. He has been my primary guard since I was born. Over the years he has handpicked additional men to serve and protect me.

Avery is 26 and very handsome. We connected when I was 14 and he has been enamored with me since. He joined the guard just to be closer to me. He is good at keeping his feelings to himself content with being near me and in a protective role. I have always been fond of Avery, he is like a puppy always full of love and happy with any attention he gets.

Elan is the newest addition to my guard. He is the latest Pribaer Guardian. A warrior gifted to Nordura. For two hundred years there has been a Pribaer gift of one warrior to always protect the Norduran King, called a Guardian. Elan was that present Guardian. Nordura has long supported the Pribaer people’s desire to stay hidden behind their mountains and has many times gone to war with other nations to protect its borders when hungry Kings wished to clean out the Pribaer mountains of their monsters and fortify their armies with fire skins. The unbroken line of Guardians was their gift to the Norduran kings for their continued support.

Jayden and I had argued at length to have Elan stay behind to protect Jon or Grandfather but we were overruled by all three heads of state, Grandfather, Father, and Jon. They agreed that Elan should to be with me to defend me at every cost. I was the only one who could protect them in the long term, was their argument.

Thinking back to the history lesson I had about Elan's homeland when I was a girl, I remember being fascinated by the way their culture was so different from our own.

Pribaer is mostly mountains known for its fearsome beasts with a secluded piece of land where most of the people live. All Pribaerians are taught to defend the mountains against any outsider and defend the towns from the beasts of the mountains. They are fiercely protective of their homeland and rarely travel beyond the mountains into the rest of the world.

The area that is populated with cities is cut off from the world on the south side not by mountains but by sheer cliffs to the ocean. There are no ports in Pribaer, the only way in or out is through one of its four passes.

The male Pribaerians are taught from a young age to fight the mountain beasts. They are also bred to hate outsiders. There is a trade post on the southern pass coming out of the Pribaer for trading and this is the most contact outsiders have with the people of Pribaer.

The goods they trade are the warm beautiful pelts of the beasts in their mountains only they seem to know how to kill. They are very expensive since not only is the fur beautiful and soft but it changes color with the weather, in the fall they transform to the color of fall leaves, fire reds and golden yellows. In the spring they tend to be a soft green. In the winter they range from gray to white depending on the temperature. In the summer they could be any color depending on where you were. Therefore, when wearing fire skins you almost always blend in with your surroundings.

Pribaer fire skins are also tough as steel armor. The skins have to be molded to a wearer with a special technique so they fit like the persons own skin. Once they have been altered they will fit no one else. Most have to travel to the trade center to get their skins molded since there are very few merchants from Pribaer that will travel to a customer. You also have to prove yourself to the Pribaer to wear their skins. Only warriors of great skill are granted these rare pelts.

Elan is covered from head to toe in Pribaer fire skins. He is intimidating with his hairy garb and aloof attitude. He was very loyal especially to Jon and it seems that loyalty has transferred to me.

He turns to me feeling my stare. He meets my eyes unafraid and gives me a curt nod. I return his nod with a smile, glad he has the courage not to be afraid of my gaze.

The final person assigned to protect me is little Kavan. He was Jayden’s attendant at first but was not content with being a servant. My Father agreed to let him be in my guard more to run errands and prepare gear for the other three. He is young, only 17, but dependable and very intelligent. Being of Sundurik origin made him especially valuable to the present trip. He knows the language of the northern lands and is familiar with many of the Reykjavik cities having family in the area. He traveled regularly with his parents before they settled in Nordura two years ago.

Jayden’s guard Carter and Mason were also coming. They both have been with Jayden since childhood but are usually part of the castle guard. I don’t know them well because it’s usually my guard that travels with us. We don’t usually need additional men for our normal excursions.

Prince Dresden does not have attendants at all. I have never met a Prince like him. He doesn’t have the usual royal superiority about him. He seems more like a commoner than a Royal Prince. I wonder how old he was when he was adopted by King Shalador.

I see him walking towards me and quickly avert my eyes. As I study Samson’s mane I wonder if he is still blocking or if he forgot. The pull is strong. I notice Jenna perk up at the sight of him. I move Samson so Jenna is between me and the Prince cutting off any possible eye contact. Avery noticing my maneuver moves closer and puts himself between me and the Prince as well. I look to him gratefully.

“Lady, would you like to take a turn around the meadow while we wait? Samson seems like he could stretch his legs.” He smiles at me hopefully.

“Thank you Avery. I take it my Father briefed you on the situation.” I nod slightly in Dresden’s direction. He blushes knowing that he was caught in his subterfuge. “I think you are right, Samson is feeling a little antsy. Shall we?”

I can feel his excitement through our connection. I laugh, getting my mental picture of a puppy again. Speaking of puppies, Sasha my half Crulian wolf, bounds up to Samson weaving in and out of his legs with an ease that comes from much practice. She jumps up enthusiastic at seeing me. She looks around trying to figure out if we are going somewhere and excited by the prospect.

Sasha is a wolf that I took in two summers ago. She was just a few months old and her mother had been killed by archers on the castle wall. Wild animals are not allowed too close to the castle and this one wandered right into our meadow. They didn’t see the pup following her till there were already three arrows that had found their mark. They did not know the wolf was Crulian until she phased back into her human form. The woman’s last request was that someone look after her daughter Sasha. Unsure of what to do with her they brought Sasha to me.

Sasha is the only animal I have ever connected with. I didn’t think to shield against her. It had never happened before with any other of the palace animals but as soon as I looked her in the eyes her thoughts came to me all jumbled together. They didn’t tell me her mother was Crulian until after I had connected to her. Her thoughts are not exactly human more like feelings and impressions. They get more and more clearly human however as she gets older.

Sasha has always been special. She is always happy and has endless energy. I’ve thought a lot about why I connected with her. She is the reason I have always been so interested in the Crulian. Once Crulian change into their beast form only about a third can return to their human form. Most just become wild. Sasha’s mother was Crulian and I have always believed that is why she came so close to human civilization, she was trying to regain her humanity.

Sasha can understand human speech completely. She reacts to my emotions she feels through our connection and understands when I need her to do something difficult. She is pure white with ice blue eyes much like my own just missing the green ring around the blue iris.

Sasha jumps up to rest her paws on my leg and nudges my hand in greeting. Samson stands still, used to Sasha’s actions. She projects happiness to see me and is curious where we are going. “Good morning Sasha. It’s nice to see you too. We are going on a trip to Reykjavik.” Her excitement explodes in my mind. I smile in response, “Now please get down before Samson bites you.” I think to her sternly. She pushes off me and turns to Samson. They have their own kind of greeting, Samson ignores her and Sasha dances in front of him trying to get his attention. I laugh at their familiar game.

Avery still waiting patiently watches me and my animals with amusement. I nudge Samson into motion. He gallops through the meadow with Sasha following easily. I let him stretch his legs for awhile until I hear a low whistle and regretfully return to the stable yard. I see our party is ready to go. I ride up to Jayden thinking to him, “Are we ready?”

“Yes,” He responds aloud.

I look around, there are ten of us total; Jayden, Dresden, Jenna, Avery, Tristan, Elan, Kavan, Carter, Mason and Me. Eleven counting Sasha. I always count her as a person more than one of our animals.

I fall in beside Jayden and allow Tristan to lead the way. We file out of the courtyard. As we enter the woods I look back once and see my childhood home disappear behind me. It will never be the same again, I think sadly to myself. My home will likely stay the same but this journey will change me, I can feel it.

“Change is good,” Jayden thinks to me.

I turn to him and smile weakly, “I hope you’re right.” I turn my back firmly to my home and look to the future stretched out before me. I hope he’s right.

Chapter 11 - Jael

Three days later we crest a hill and look down on Burrow Harbor. The main port city of Nordura, Burrow Harbor is my favorite city in my homeland. Full of diversity I love to come here and just people watch. People from other places fascinate me. I have always wanted to travel and see the world but being a Princess has its drawbacks. Everywhere I go there is such a production, I never really get to see a real city. I only see what the monarch wants me to see. This time it will be different. On this trip I will not be Princess Jael of Nordura. I am just Jael.

We are dressed down in the common travel garb of Nordura. We will be traveling as minor nobility, not worth notice. It’s a good thing I have avoided people for most of my life too scared to make connections, not many will recognize me. It will also serve us well that me and Jayden can communicate with our party silently. My newfound ability to hear thoughts of those I am not connected to allows me to read people without making connections. We will know as soon as someone recognizes us or if anyone poses a threat. We can relay any information to our guard to resolve issues swiftly and without notice.

Jayden will have to communicate with Dresden. I know my control is not good enough around him yet. I try to avoid him as much as possible. I always know where he is however, like a magnet moving around me constantly with his pull always in the back of my mind. Sometimes I feel his eyes on me. At those times I have to concentrate with all of my strength to withstand the draw to look at him. Jayden often senses our struggle and intervenes. The constant strain has made me stronger. I feel my control getting more firm. I get more and more comfortable with his steady pull.

We pause to take in the view of Burrow Harbor. I notice Sasha quivering with anticipation standing near Dresden. He reaches down to pet her head and mutters something in her ear, she calms at his touch. Sasha’s initial reaction to Dresden and his to her was interesting to watch. The moment she saw him she was in love. She follows him around with a mindless bliss, like he connected to her in some way. His reaction to her was one of shock. He just stared at her in disbelief the first time he met her. She ran to him and nearly knocked him over with her greeting. He steadied himself at the last second and took her weight easily. I thought he might hurt her since her charge looked more like an attack by a wild wolf. He took her head in his hands and looked into her face, confusion then happiness running across his features. After satisfying himself of what she was he looked to Jayden and said, “Where did you find her?”

Jayden looked to me briefly and then responded, “She is under Jael’s care since she was a pup and we killed her mother. She was in wolf form and came within shooting range of the castle wall.”

A look of hurt crossed Dresden’s features suddenly and then it was gone, replaced by understanding.

Jayden said regretfully, “I’m sorry Dresden we did not know what she was until it was too late. She shifted back to her human form right before she died. It was too late to save her. Her last request was that someone look after Sasha.”

“I understand,” He said sadly. We never spoke of it again but after their initial introduction, Sasha followed him around almost constantly except for the few times a day she came to check on me. Dresden treated her like a person, speaking to her conversationally like she was the same as the rest of us. I was glad since that was not the usual reaction she received. Most were scared of her almost human behavior.

“Where to your highness?” Tristan asks looking to Jayden.

Jayden turns to face our entire group. “This will be our first time passing as minor nobility in a populated area, let’s lose the “highnesses” and fall into our roles. I am the younger son of Baron Ekler of Pennington and Jael is my twin sister. Please remember to refer to us only as Lord and Lady while still in Nordura, our names are too well known. Dresden you will have to pass as one of our guard.” He nods in agreement. “Ok let’s find an inn for the night and then we will need to book passage for Sundurnik.”

“I think the Feather Inn would be most appropriate my Lord,” Tristan suggests.

“Lead the way,” He agrees. It’s obvious we cannot stay in our normal inn set aside for visiting royalty and the very rich.

We make our way down the steep hill into the city. We pass unnoticed at the gates and make our way into the market. It’s still early in the day and the market is busy. There are people from everywhere going about their daily business. It’s a much different view as one of them and not a Princess. Normally the street would be cleared and my party ushered along to a place secluded and thought to be safe. I would have to send an attendant to fetch things from the market for me.

Now, I gaze around overwhelmed by all the bright colors and foreign faces. No one seems to recognize us. I sift through the thoughts of those closest to us, grazing through a sea of snippets of information. The thoughts that come to me are general: what people are going to buy, an errand needing to be run, so and so is late, one woman admires Avery from a distance. I pass through the crowd not sensing anything out of the ordinary.

Then I lock eyes with someone almost familiar. It’s a spice merchant that comes to the palace to sell spices to our cook. He looks intently at me recognizing me by my eyes. He is about to address me by title in the middle of a crowded market! I think quickly to Tristan, “That man to your left by the spices, he recognizes me!” Tristan moves automatically cutting off my view. He slides from his saddle and approaches the man taking his arm and steering him around a corner firmly. Jayden follows discreetly. When they return I look to Jayden quizzically.

“He doesn’t remember us anymore.” He smiles waiting for my reaction. He must have connected to him and changed his thoughts. I try to decide how I feel about this. I suppose it doesn’t hurt him and Jayden’s connections are harmless. I smile back at him.

We pick up our pace and make it to the inn in the west part of town not far from the docks. The inn is in good condition but nothing particularly special. As we enter the stable yard a boy about 11 comes to take our horses. He stares at me open mouthed unable to speak. I search his thoughts curious that he would recognize me. He doesn’t, his thoughts are those of an innocent boy not used to seeing beautiful women. I smile at him surprised by his thoughts. He blushes a deep red embarrassed that he stared at me for so long. He shifts his stare trying to avoid looking at me again only to find four men suddenly glaring at him.

It takes me a minute to understand the glares. I have always known I was beautiful but I sometimes forget. I don’t meet many strangers and those close to me are for the most part connected to me. My connected all think I am beautiful but not because of my physical appearance. They are also highly protective, the males especially. I sigh irritated; “He’s only a child” I project to all of them at once. They all turn to me at the same time identical looks on their faces.

Jayden shrugs and moves on into the common room of the inn. Avery looks back to the boy still glaring. Tristan follows Jayden into the inn. I don’t dare look at Dresden. He’s just as bad as the rest of them even without a connection, I think to myself bitterly. I smile again at the boy reassuringly and follow the others inside.

Sasha rubs against me as we enter the inn, uncomfortable indoors of unfamiliar places. It’s dark inside. As my eyes adjust to the dim light I look around curious. A cheery fire in a low hearth gives off warmth and a little light. There is something wonderful cooking in the pot resting in a hook above the fire. The aroma of rosemary and garlic fills the room making me realize just how hungry I am. The floor is clean and the furniture well made. A small round woman comes to greet us with a smile, “Welcome. What can we do for you today?” She says addressing Tristan.

“We need lodging for 10 of us. The Lady and her maid would like a bath as soon as possible and an evening meal as well.” He responds.

Her eyes sweep our party curious. She looks to me briefly. I skim her thoughts finding only a commoner’s curiosity of nobles. Her eyes rest on Sasha. “Of course my lord, the dog will stay in the stables I presume?”

I am about to protest when Tristan says, “The wolf is protection for the lady and stays with her in her room. Is this a problem?”

“Oh no, let me get you settled in.” She turns to me smiling, “Come my Lady, we have a comfortable room away from the common area so you can get a proper rest.”

“Thank you,” I reply following her up the stairs as Jenna and Sasha trail behind us.

“The boy outside, is that your son?”

“Yes, Joshua. Was he any trouble Lady?” She asks nervous.

“No but I think we gave him a bit of a scare. Give him my apologies please?”

“I will thank you.” We arrive at a room on the top floor at the furthest end of the house. She opens the door and ushers us inside. “Will this room be suitable Lady?”

I look around the room. The small fire burning in the stone fireplace gives just enough heat making the room comfortably warm and not too stuffy. The bed is large made of sturdy oak. The white linens are of good quality and appear to be clean. The down comforter looks inviting being exhausted from traveling. I go to the window seat piled high will plush pillows and look out the large window to admire the view of the city and the harbor below. “It’s perfect, thank you. What was your name?”

“Senna, my Lady.” She replies with a bow.

“Senna, I will remember this place again it seems very comfortable. Could you please have my supper brought to my room and where will I find the bath?” I ask turning back to her.

“The bath is just through here. My daughter Savanna is warming the water now and she will bring your supper as well. Please let her know if you require anything else. Have a good night.” She nods to us and leaves with one last look of disapproval at Sasha. A dog in my clean house! She thinks bitterly as she closes the door softly behind her.

I look to Sasha in time to see her register the woman’s thoughts. “You heard her too?” I ask curious. I hadn’t known that Sasha could hear people’s thoughts other than Jayden’s and mine. She growls in response and plops down in front of the hearth feelings hurt.

“She doesn’t know you are different, Sasha.” She ignores me pretending to be asleep.

As Jenna pokes around the room I curl up in the window seat and stare out the window lost in thought. I draw my knees up and wrap my arms around them for comfort trying to sort out my tumultuous thoughts. Tomorrow we will leave Nordura. I have never been to the northern continent. I am glad we will be going to Sundurnik, the country bordering the east side of Reykjavik, first. Traveling through Reykjavik terrifies me. A shiver runs up my spine just at the thought. I hug myself tighter and continue the journey in my head. We will make our way to Kennig in Sundurnik and then over the border and strait to the capital city of Reykjavik to meet King Serovik.

Serovik. I dwell on our inevitable meeting, scared by his reputation. What do I say? What will he be like? Will he guess why we are there? Am I ready to make a connection and be tied to his feelings as horrible as they seem? There are so many questions and no good answers.

“It’s no use worrying about him now my Lady, we are still far from Reykjavik,” Jenna interrupts my brooding guessing what must be troubling me.

“I know, it’s just that I feel like I should somehow be prepared and I am anything but,” I reply. “And enough with the “My Lady” business, we will be traveling together so we may as well get comfortable. You can stop thinking of me as your mistress; I think I will need more of a friend on this trip. Just Jael, ok?”

“Ok… Jael,” She says hesitantly sitting next to me. She pauses thinking, then suddenly turns to me and asks, “Do you think it would be a good idea if you made a connection with me?”

The question is so unexpected I look at her trying to understand why she would want such a thing. I search her eyes trying to catch her thoughts. This comes so easily to me now having so much practice on our journey here. Her thoughts produce no clues to her inquiry. “Jenna why?” I ask her still confused by her request.

“Well it seems everyone else is connected to you and I am your maid… I mean friend, I should know when you are feeling anxious or sad. I am the only other woman here for you to talk to. I just thought it might be easier for you.” I can tell there is something she is not telling me. I probe her thoughts again. I miss his connection so much. I hope her touch is like his.

Understanding I release my knees and sit up taking her hands and looking deep in her eyes. She stares right back at me willing me to make the connection. The pull is suddenly strong, her having such a desire for the bond and feeling emotional about Jayden. I pull back slightly and say to her softly, “Jenna I am sorry that he broke his connection to you but it will not be the same with me. There may come a time when it is essential but I will not take your free will away unless it cannot be avoided, I’m sorry. Remember though that you can always project your thoughts to me and I will listen and respond. We can have the benefits of a connection but with a real friendship.”

Tears slide down her cheeks as she holds my gaze, “Can we really speak silently to each other? Will you show me?” There is so much hope in her eyes that I cannot refuse.

“Yes. Close your eyes and think about what you want to say.” She closes her eyes smiling at the prospect of communicating with me using her mind. I withdraw from her thoughts so she can project them to me without me already being in her head. “Now just like if you were going to say it to me out loud, say it in your mind but try to project the thought out of you. Try to concentrate on just saying it to me like it’s a secret you don’t want anyone else to know.”

“I miss home. I miss home. I miss home.” She projects to me over and over again.

“Ok Jenna you only have to think it once.” I say aloud laughing at her determination. “Good job, I miss home too.”

Her eyes snap open in shock. “I heard it!” she exclaims. “Oh Lady your whisper is so beautiful,” she gushes.

I look at her confused. “Beautiful?” I ask not sure what she means.

“Yes, it’s like a caress in my mind. Almost like Jayden’s.” She says happily.

“Well I am glad you like it.” I have never thought of how my thoughts feel in someone’s mind. I have always known Jayden’s thoughts were somehow pleasurable but I thought that was because we were so close and I took comfort in our bond. It was an interesting concept.

A light knock on our door makes Jenna jump. She gets up to open the door, quickly wiping the tears from her cheeks. “You must be Savannah,” She says sweetly to the young girl who comes in carrying a tray that smells divine.

“Yes Lady,” the girl says setting the tray on a table and curtsying clumsily. She stands in front of us staring at the floor shyly.

“She is a cute little thing isn’t she?” Jenna’s thought comes to me loudly.

“Quietly Jenna, you don’t have to yell at me. Yes she is pretty.” To the girl I say aloud, “Hello Savannah it’s nice to meet you. Thank you so much for bringing us our supper. Is the bath ready as well?”

“Yes Lady,” she responds still staring at the ground, now trembling slightly. I search her thoughts gently to see why she seems so scared. I hope they like me. Mother will be so mad if they don’t like me. I hope they like me. I can’t believe they have a wolf! I hope it doesn’t eat me. I wish I knew what to do now. How do I leave?

“You have done so well Savannah thank you, please tell your mother we said you did a wonderful job. We are going to eat and then take a bath so I don’t think we need anything else. You can go if you like.” I say to her sending her a feeling of calm happiness.

She stops trembling and looks up at me curiously. As soon as she sees my eyes she begins trembling again and bolts from the room without a word.

“I think my eyes scared her.” I say to Jenna ashamed I had frightened her so much.

“I was scared the first time I saw your eyes too. They are unsettling at first especially when they told me about your power, but I got used to it. You are a kind mistress.” She replies.

I think of Misty’s reaction to my eyes and wish there were more people like her, not so easily scared off by the unusual. I miss my friend and wish she were here instead of Jenna. I sigh, thinking to myself that I should make more of an effort to like Jenna despite some of her personality traits that irk me.

Sasha sensing my loneliness walks to me putting her head in my lap. I stare into her eyes reassured by her friendship. “They are scared of me too.” She whispers in my mind. I stare at her harder. Did she really just think to me like a human? “Dresden showed me how to think like you. I thought you would understand me better if I thought how you do in your words.”

I just stare at her shocked. “Oh Sasha!” I exclaim hugging her close overcome with joy that my closest friend is really here. I wonder how much human is really in her.

“What is it?” Jenna asks confused by my outburst.

“Nothing. Shall we eat,” I say to her lifting up the silver dome covering our dinner. The aroma of rosemary roasted chicken, creamy baked potato soup and fresh garlic bread swiftly dispels any further fears of our trip and makes my stomach gurgle noisily. Jenna laughs and takes a seat opposite me.

“Gods yes,” She replies smiling.

Chapter 12 - Jael

Staring at the ceiling above my head, sleep eludes me. My muscles are wound so tight my back is sore from the tension. Flopping onto my stomach, I bury my head under a pillow, close my eyes tight and hope sleep will come. As soon as my eyes close images swim in my head of Grandfather and Jon. The images I first conjured of them, their skin the cold, white color of death.

Giving up I turn back over and resume my intense scrutiny of the ceiling. The exposed wood beams running the length of the room are distorted by the images that continue to flash across my vision. They play over and over again in my mind finally bringing tears to my eyes. I wipe away the dampness and fail to stifle a helpless whimper. Inhaling deeply, I try to relax the tight ball my stomach as formed its self into. Taking slow even breaths and trying to stifle the small sobs that escape my throat, my heart continues to hammer away in my chest. I try desperately to think of the one thing that always takes my mind off of my worries.

Dresden.

Even as my mind is consumed with thoughts of him, the way he moves with catlike grace, his hawk like eyes that miss nothing, the way I sometimes catch him staring dreamily at me, even these treasured thoughts do not dispel the tormented feeling squeezing my heart.

“Jael, why are you crying?” Sasha asks silently, raising her head and staring at me in the darkness from the foot of my bed.
“Something is wrong.” I answer quietly. “I know it but I just can not place my anxiety in reality. Something is going to happen.” The feeling suddenly overwhelms me. My heart begins to race anew, breathing becomes difficult.

“Search your bonds; see if your troubled feelings come from one of them.” She suggests snuggling closer to me. She sends a calming sensation through our connection.

Taking her advice I sink to my core, trying to take comfort in my connections and seek out if my unease is based on emotions being channeled to me. I bury myself in the warmth of my ties. The energy from each one of them infuses me with the emotions of its carrier. Most of my bonds are dim with distance; however, I can still feel strongly those with me. Jayden is a constant comfort. I soak up his calm sleepy thoughts. Avery too comforts me with his steady breathing and carefree slumber. I try to slow my breathing to that of Jayden and match my heartbeat to Avery’s. Finally I am ready to try sleep again. Before coming back to myself I turn to Jon’s connection to assure myself of his safety. Reaching the distance I am surprised to find him awake. He feels my probing and sends me his love. I return his warmth and withdraw my touch.

Suddenly terror and pain jolt through me from one of my connections. Searching through my ties my heart sinks. “Grandfather!” I hurdle the thought through our connection. I can feel the piercing wound in his side as if a knife had been driven directly into me as well.

“Jael…”

“Grandfather! What happened? Who has hurt you?” I ask in horror.

“It’s too late child. Remember… Jon must be protected…make haste.” is the weak response.

I sit up and cry out to Jayden aloud and in his thoughts, “Jayden!” I jump out of bed grabbing my robe and throwing it around my shoulders in haste.

Sasha, startled, jumps off the bed. She looks to me confused, “Jael, what happened? Who was it?”

Before I can answer I hear stumbling outside of my door as Jayden practically falls into my room half dressed. He has one leg in his trousers and the other halfway in. He gives up and runs to my side. “What is it Jael?”

I can feel the life draining from the wound in his side. The pain in my body reflects his, I stand holding my side, trying desperately to control the throbbing pain in my side. I stare at Jayden helplessly trying to form my thoughts. Before I can put it into words, a pain rips through my chest. I can’t breathe. All I can feel is the pain. I feel the floor hit my side just as Jayden catches the rest of my fall.

“Jael, Jael!” Jayden is screaming at me and slapping my face. Sasha is barking uncontrollably, snarling at Jayden to do something.

I can not seem to reach the surface; I am drowning in the pain. I struggle to push the pain aside trying over and over to trace its origin. I search my connections and am finally able to reach the connection that is ripping through my heart. I follow it back to its source desperately trying to regain the connection at the other end.

“Jael, Jael!” Jayden is still screaming and hitting me, hysterical. His panicked screaming and Sasha’s howling breaks my concentration.

I surface just enough to tell them to stop. “Jayden,” I sob. “I can’t find him! Jayden he’s gone!” Panicking I abandon my efforts with Jayden and plunge to my core. I feel along the connection to my Grandfather again. It’s not broken just dark. Why is it dark? My connections are light. Looking through my core out to my connections they are like burning ropes, bright with our mutual life. Why is Grandfather dark? I reach out to his mind, “Papa! Papa please! Hear me! Papa!” Nothing. He can’t be gone. I scream at him, “Wake up! Papa!”

The connection is dead. He is dead. The realization is too much to regain my control over the pain. It washes over me in horrible never-ending waves. It’s almost a numbing feeling being carried away with the pain. There is an ache where papa’s connection was. The pain is so much. It takes on a life of its own; the pain is like a dagger twisting in my heart. All I can feel is the numbing pain, the ache that will never go away and the piercing of my heart. I can still feel the dead connection, a reminder of the once bright spot in my life. A special tie to someone wonderful, now a dead ache forever there to torment me.

I feel Jayden’s petting of my face. He is gentle now. I open my eyes and see him looking down at me. I can see in his eyes he finally understands, he must have felt his connection break. He puts his head to mine, our tears mingle together.

I feel the force of his mind seeking entry into my thoughts. I hesitate to let him in, afraid to share the pain. He looks into my eyes showing his broken heart. The pull of his emotions breaks my hold. I let him in and watch as his expression changes from heart broken to immense pain. He can’t take it. He releases me and stumbles a few feet, his arms wrapped around his torso trying to keep it all together. He collapses to his hands and knees.

His ragged breathe tears at my heart. Sasha’s gut wrenching howl brings tears to my eyes. I let them fall freely. I curl into a ball and close my eyes. The nightmare of my grandfather filters into my vision. The cold, white skin of death…

Chapter 13 - Dresden

The sight of her curled into a ball in obvious pain, tears at my heart. I hadn’t realized when Sasha came to me frantic, saying Jael was in trouble, that it would look like this. The staff, hearing the commotion, stand around the room staring in confusion. Jayden, a few feet away from Jael, gasps for air between sobs that rack his frame.

I move forward and tenderly pick up Jael; I’m surprised by how light she is. She stirs briefly opening her eyes and looking right through me. She seems to try to focus on me but her eyes are glazed over, she doesn’t see me. The torturous look in her stare takes my breath away, I nearly drop her. She moans in pain, slipping back into unconsciousness. Laying her in bed I call out, “Sasha come up here and lay by her. Tell me when she stirs.”

Turning to Jayden I reach out to him trying to help him to his feet. To see him in such pain brings tears to my eyes. He stumbles forward unable to hold himself up. I catch him in my arms steadying him as best I can. Turning his face to mine I search his eyes for answers. “He’s gone,” he gasps. “…it hurts…it hurts so much,” his face twists in agony. He buries his head in my chest crying.

“I know. Come Jayden, lay down.” I lay him on the cot the staff put next to Jael’s bed. His will crumbles and his tears turn to sobbing so hard, his whole body shakes with emotion. “Jayden, what happened?” I ask trying to figure out what catastrophe could have this effect on them. And then it hits me. I stare down at him in shock, “Oh Jayden no, was it Jon?”

Jayden looks up into my eyes, tears streaming freely down his cheeks, and finally shakes his head, “Grandfather.” His voice breaks and the hysterics start again. I turn to the woman standing next to me sending her for a sedative. She hurries from the room and returning a few minutes later with a steaming mug.

“Come lad, drink this. It will make you feel better,” she says softly. Jayden, his sobs receded slightly, takes a sip of the tonic. He grimaces and then drinks it down at her prodding. Lying down on the cot, he soon begins to breathe easier.

Finally, Jayden settled, I turn to Jael. Sasha sitting beside her turns her worried look to me. “What do we do?” She asks helplessly.

“I don’t know. Normally, I would say to call Jayden, but with both of them incapacitated…I just don’t know.” Staring down at her pale skin, thin frame, and the shadows beginning to form under her strange eyes, it hits me how fragile she really is. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. Perhaps she is not strong enough.

“Dresden, we have to do something.” Sasha whimpers softly. Sasha being much attuned to Jael, feels her pain. Perhaps not as intently as her brother but their connection is almost as close.

Taking a deep breath I put my doubts aside, she has to be strong enough. We are already on our way and have run out of time for changing plans. To Sasha I say seriously, “I do know we need to get moving. If I understood correctly, then the King has been killed. Jon will be next. We have to get to Reykjavik and soon.”

Mulling over our options one stands out clearly, “Sasha, you have to pull her out of this.”

Chapter 14 - Sasha

My first memory is of my mother; her whiskers tickling my face, the smell of her strong breath, and her warmth surrounding me. I was happy as a pup, frolicking through the woods without a care, my mother guiding me in the way of wolves. I always knew we were different. Wolves of the forest avoided us. I asked my mother once why this was. “We smell of Humans,” was what she told me. I didn’t know what “Humans” were but I trusted my mother to tell me in time, like I said I was happy as a pup, oblivious to the world outside of my mother and our territory in the forest. Sometimes I wish we would have stayed in the forest.

Looking down at Jael I feel a twinge of regret for my thoughts. I wouldn’t change my life for anything. This course brought me to Jael and to Dresden. Jael taught me everything about “Humans.” I knew they were a part of me the moment Jael locked eyes with me. She taught me to use my mind voice. She filled the hole left in my heart when my mother died. She molded me into who I am. She gave me purpose and a happiness I would have never known if me and mother would have stayed in the forest. She showed me the world and loved me on a level no one else has ever touched.

Not until Dresden. Dresden was like me. He was Beast and Human. He was the first to recognize the Human in me on the same level as the Beast. Dresden taught me to let go of the Beast in my mind and let the Human thoughts take over. He is like me.

Gazing at his worried face I am reminded of the task at hand. Looking back to Jael I probe gently into her consciousness. Her mind is foggy. There are no real thoughts there, just the mumbling of dreams. “Jael,” I call to her gently. There is no focusing of her mind. “Jael!” I call louder. She stirs slightly but her mind still doesn’t focus into thoughts.

“Dresden she’s not responding. I don’t know what to do but keep calling her,” I say silently.

His brow creases in worry. “Try feeling along your connection. Get into her mind, find her. She is trapped in her mind, in the pain. Bring her out. You need to show her the way. I think she is confused,” He says. I find it strange how he knows so much about her mind. I will never understand Humans completely, they think so much differently than Beasts.

Concentrating on Dresden’s words, I try to reach Jeal through our connection. It’s difficult for me to find this connection to her mind. I do not see our connection as a physical thing. Dresden tried to explain it to me once. He said it was like a rope connecting our minds like a rope that connects a horse to a rail. Dresden understands how I think, he knows how to explain things to me. I search my mind for the “rope” to Jael. There it is. It really is like a rope. I reach out tentatively, touching our connection with my mind; I feel a rush of pain go through my body. Yelping in surprise, I jump off the bed, breaking my hold on her.

“What happened Sasha?” Dresden asks in concern.

“She is in pain…great pain,” I reply still shaken. “I will try again.”

This time I reach to our connection and delve into it. I ignore the pain and search for her thoughts. I reach out to her consciousness, “Jael come back to us. We need you.” She hears me this time.

“Sasha,” she mumbles confused.

“Jael focus on me,” I tell her. She drifts with me, surfacing reluctantly.

Jael, opening her eyes and focusing on me says quietly, “Sasha…thank you.” She looks around briefly. She avoids looking at Dresden instead focusing on her brother sleeping silently beside her bed. The last few hours seem to trickle back into her mind slowly. The tears flow freely down her cheeks. She turns her tortured eyes on me. Her gaze flicks to Dresden. She locks eyes with him for the first time since leaving home. “We need to go. Saving Jon is all that matters to me now. It’s what…” Her voice catches slightly, “…Grandfather would have wanted.”

Chapter 15- Jael


Once they finally left me I let my mask slip. Curling into a ball in the middle of my bed I let the tears run freely. Keeping them in check was beginning to wear on my control. Watching the shadows on the wall from the flames flickering in the hearth seemed to mirror the churning feeling in my stomach. The dead connection at my core was a constant reminder of what I had lost and the reason for the flow of tears. The anxiety that made eating impossible, stemmed from the dread of another dead connection. The possibility that at any moment my brother could be another lifeless tie, the potential of it was too much to think about.

Turning to bury my face deep in the covers and hugging myself more tightly, I finally reach into myself and register my connections. Avoiding the dark cord as much as possible I reach out and lightly touch all of my connections at once. The general feeling is one of concern. No doubt all of those I am bonded to felt me lose control. They are all a bit sensitive to my moods even when I am in full control. To feel the raw emotion that must have touched them all would have been at the least surprising.

Jon, sensing me, stops mid conversation with Uncle Draken and withdraws into himself. “Jael, are you ok?” He whispers. I can tell he is worried about me being able to continue my journey.

“Does it matter?,” I reply bitter. Does everyone think I am a child who cannot recover from this tragedy any more then they can? “I told him I would protect you, I promised. I am not as weak as you think. I am not scared of my connections anymore. They are only a tool. I will not let myself become attached any longer. My connections will no longer be my weakness,” I add, withdrawing from him. I can’t bear any more of his pity.

Angry with myself for letting the tears return, I dash them from my cheeks. Tears fix nothing. Grandfather is gone and crying about it solves nothing. The sick feeling from my stomach works its way into my chest, squeezing at my heart.

Taking a deep breath, I push the feeling down and try to ignore it. I won’t let this pain take me over. All that matters now is that I keep going. I will not let my feelings be the reason I do not succeed. It is better to feel nothing then the pain.

The emotions from my connections make me weak. Finally understanding what I must do, I close my eyes and close myself off from my connections. I block them all until only my thoughts and emotions are inside of me. Even my emotions I push down until all I feel is my resolve to keep going. I feel icy inside, numb. Numb is bliss.

Chapter 16- Dresden

The change in her is obvious. Walking into the common room, back strait, eyes dead of emotion, she stands before me and looks directly into my eyes. She grips my gaze and will not release me. This is it. This is where she makes the connection. “Jael don’t do this,” I try projecting to her. I cannot reach her, it’s like my thought hit a brick wall.

“It’s time to go. Is the ship ready?” She asks in a dead voice. She seems unconcerned with holding my gaze so intently. Her newfound control is hard to believe.

“Uh…yes. The ship is ready when we are. Are you ok Jael?” I ask hesitant.

Her eyes narrow dangerously. “I am fine, Prince. We leave in an hour, notify the captain,” she snaps. She turns to go just as Jayden enters. He stops and stares at her in surprise. She doesn’t even register his presence. She just keeps walking and soon disappears up the stairs to her room.

Jayden turns to me still stunned. His face is puzzled for a few seconds and then his expression changes to one of disbelief. He sits down heavily in a nearby chair. “What is it Jayden? What is wrong with her?” I ask confused by this stranger who looks like Jael.

“She is blocking me,” he says absently. His brow furrows, then a tear slides down his cheek. The look of hurt reminds me of the night his grandfather died just three days ago. He looks to me, his bottom lip trembling slightly, “She has never shut me out before. I cannot even get a sense of where she is or what she is feeling.”

Apparently being shut off from a connection was painful. Not the same as the connection being broken but still unpleasant. I don’t understand why she would shut herself off from those who love her and who would be nothing but a source of comfort. This behavior is so unlike her. She seems so attuned to people’s feelings. I always thought that was a weakness of hers but her without it is…ugly. It is an interesting way to cope, I guess.

“Jayden she just needs time. This is her coping with the situation. We need to give her a chance to settle into it. It’s not just you. She is different with me too. All we can do is support her until she lets us in again,” I say sympathetically squeezing his shoulder.

Putting his face in his hands he says, “You’re right. You must think I am terribly fragile.”

“I do not understand fully what it must feel like to have one of your connections broken but I know it must be more pain then I have ever felt. This is something not everyone recovers from. You need to give yourself time to acclimate. I do not judge you Jayden. I am sure in your place I would be just as ‘fragile’”, I reply honestly. “Well like your sister said, it’s time to go. Lets round everyone up and get moving.”