Angela's Rambling

So I think I decided who Jael looks like... a cross between Zooey and Ann. Enjoy.

2011-11-20T20:42:00.000-08:00

Brainstorming...

2011-11-18T15:55:00.001-08:00

I feel at a standstill. I am stuck on the boat scene. I need to write about Jael learning the bow and somehow tie her connections in. I think she starts learning on the ship and then finishes learning as they travel. She is a fast learner because she teaches Dresden to project directions to her as images. Being able to just think instructions makes teaching her very easy. Her and Dresden get really close during this time. Jayden and Elan still refuse to teach her so its left to Dresden entirely. Not only do they become closer through this process but Jael gets better at resisting the urge to make a connection. She gets more and more used to the pull and can keep from forcing herself in his mind. They have few tense moments though!

After that part they need to be attacked and the bad Crulian that works for King Serovik needs to appear. He should be some kind of bird in his beast form and Dresden chases after him. They have a bad history. When Dresden is lured away by the bad Crulian they are attacked in full and Jael is kidnapped. All of their companions are killed except Elan, Jayden, Dresden, and Kavan. Jayden and Elan are badly injured. Jayden is hit in the head so hard he goes into a coma. Elan is stabbed in his side. Dresden breaks an arm/wing in his fight with the other Crulian. Kavan is the only one not injured. Kavan knows the area and he manages to get Dresden, Elan and Jayden to a cousin's home.

Dresden is upset with himself for leaving them to chase after the Crulian. He wants to go after Jael but with a broken arm/wing he cannot take his beast form and fly and does not want to travel as a human by himself when he is injured. He is forced to wait for his arm to heal and his companions to get well.

Meanwhile Jael was knocked out in the fight and wakes up blindfolded and bound to a horse. She cannot see her captors and is unable to remove her blindfold to use her powers. They seem to know who she is and what she can do. The bad Crulian catches up with them and seems to be in charge. He is taking her to King Serovik. She doesn't fight because she figures this is the fastest way to the King. She just hopes she is not too late to save Jon.

She has no idea what happened to her companions. The last thing she saw/felt was Jayden being hit in the head. That is what broke her concentration. She was fighting through her connection with him and wasn't expecting him to be knocked out. His injury really worries her because she cannot feel him through her connection. She knows he is not dead but cannot seem to reach him.

She does not want to alert her brother Jon to her capture because she thinks this is the best way to get to the king and she doesn't want Jon to send anyone to rescue her. She is not counting on how much the King knows of her ability. They keep her blindfolded when they meet. He is obviously enamored with her beauty and wants to control her. She just waits and tries to get his trust enough for him to take the blind fold off.

The King treats her like a royal guest other than the blindfold and the restraints. He allows her remove the cuffs when she is in her room but the guards are careful not to make eye contact. She finally makes a connection to one of the guards who is careless and catches her eye. She is quickly caught and now sent to the prison. Serovik promises not to kill Jon, but only as long as she does not contact anyone through her connections to come save her and she does not try to escape. She is not sent to the normal prison. Its a secluded section of the prison that she thinks Serovik only puts those he does not want others to know he has.

She meets Luka there. He is a prisoner in the cell next to hers. She doesn't trust that he is really a prisoner at first. She is worried Serovik put him there to test her. She soon finds out why he is there. She doesn't tell him about her powers. She makes up a story about who she is. Again, she doesn't trust him. They become very good friends. She starts telling him about herself (leaving out the abilities and the princess stuff). He gets to know the real Jael. Not Jael the princess or Jael the beautiful, or Jael with the powers. She opens up to him unlike she has to anyone else. She feels like he is her first REAL friend. Once she finally trusts him she is too afraid to tell him the other things about herself. Worried that he will think differently about her.

Then Nuala comes and breaks her out. Jael hurries to let Luka out. He is stunned by her beauty. She painted a very different picture of herself in their long talks. He gets over it soon enough since the need to be free is so urgent. They escape but not before they try to rescue his sister. They try only to realize she has been completely corrupted by Serovik. Lexa turns on them but doesn't realize being face to face with Serovik is exactly what Jael wants.

She meets the King finally without a blindfold and tries to make the connection. She doesnt realize Serovik has been preparing for her to make the connection. He has found out how to block her connection by projecting his evil thoughts out to her. She recoils from him and he has her incopasitated. The evil Crulian has helped him figure out her power. Between the two of them they overpower her and get the blindfold back on.

In all the excitement they dont realize what Nuala is. She attacks them but the evil Crulian is stronger than her. She finally finds her human form. Nuala's human abilities are... (I cant think of what they are yet.) Somehow she uses her powers to subdue the evil Crulian. Then she kills Serovik, freeing Jael.

Jael reaches out to Jayden only to be surprised that he isnt far. He has amased an Norduran and Austurian army. They are about to attack Reykjavik. She assures him that she is safe and not to attack.

She also learns that Dresden is close by. He materializes and they see each other for the first time in nearly a year. He was the one who brought Nuala. They have been searching for her all over Reykjavik. She runs into his arms. Once she is reunited she turns to introduce him to Luka. She sees the hurt in Luka's eyes and realizes that she loves him too. Now the awkward trek back to her homeland. Luka cant bare to be in the country where he grew up or anywhere near his sister. So he asks Jael to come back with her. She agrees ofcourse. She is confused. She doesnt know who she wants to be with but she doesnt want to lose either of them.

End of first book.

The New Guy - Luka

2011-11-16T13:33:00.000-08:00

Luka is the son of King Serovik's youngest brother Kurik and a minor princess from Kopavik, Deela. When King Serovik became king of Reykjavik he murdered most of his family that opposed his rule. Kurik was killed and Deela fled back to Kopavik. Their two children, Luka and Lexa, 7 and 2 at the time, were kept by Serovik to use aginst Kopavik if the need arose.

Deela never knew if her children lived and assumed they were lost to her either way. She lived not too much longer after fleeing to Kopavik due to the trauma of losing her family. There has always been hope in Kopavik that the two children would turn up, but after many years of waiting it was assumed they had met the same fate as their father.

Luka was 5 years older than Lexa. He adored his little sister and is fiercely protective of her. Serovik sent the two away to be raised by handlers. He calls upon them once a year to remind them who they belonged to. It is a frightening visit for Lexa and she goes into hysterics every time the annual visit comes around. Now 20 and 15, Luka and Lexa travel to the annual meeting with their uncle. Luka thinks it is the same visit as always, but soon learns that he will be returning to the secluded estate he grew up on without his little sister. Lexa is of age and Serovik has decided its time for her to learn her place and become useful to him.

Luka is drugged and brought back home. When he wakes up and finds out what has happened to his sister, he goes crazy with rage. Luka is a very happy and easy going person. His entire being radiates sweetness. He always believes the best of people and has a hard time finding fault in people. The only thing he ever remembers being angry about is being sent away from his family. He was told that his parents died of an accident and his uncle reluctantly took them in. He does not remember his Kopavik heritage nor does anyone mention it to him as he grows up. He only knows of his uncle who he knows is evil, but he only has to see him once a year. He thinks there is good in his uncle and he eventually will come around. When he finds out the fate of his sister, the rage is as intense as his normal sweetness. When the rage consumes him he becomes so unlike his normal self that his handlers are overwhelmed. He escapes in search of his sister.

Luka has been raised in such seclusion the real world is a little difficult at first. He is very educated. He was sent tutors and books growing up and without much else to do has read a great deal. He is naive in many ways and incredibly intelligent at the same time. He makes his way to his uncle's palace, but in an attempt to rescue his sister he is caught. He is in a part of the prison that no other prisoners are in. He thinks it is where his uncle puts people he does not want to be found. After a whole year in prison he is surprised that a cell next to his is suddenly filled with a woman. With no one to talk to for so long he talks to her for hours. She doesn't respond to him but he keeps talking. He is surprised to find one day that she finally responds with a strange question, "Have you ever heard of the Crulian?"

Love Triangle

2011-09-01T20:32:00.001-07:00

So I am thinking I want to introduce a love triangle into the story. I was debating on how to do this. I thought it would be interesting if Jael gets kidnapped once they get to Rekjavik. They take her to the king and to prison. He knows about her powers and keeps her blindfolded and chained at all times. She is kept prisoner and while there meets another prisoner who rebelled against the king. They fall for each other based on personality and through the trials they go through together in prison. They break out together. He has never seen her eyes. They have never connected because she has remained blinded through their entire experience. They fall in love. When she sees Dresden again she is torn. Her love for him is generated by their mutual Crulian connection. Her draw to him is almost outside of her control. He already loves her and has been fighting to get her back, which only cements his love for her. Once they meet again she cannot deny the sheer physical draw to him. Hence the love triangle. She doesnt know she loves the new guy until after the imprisonment. She thinks she is in love with Dresden. She thinks about him constantly while in prison, longs to see him. She doesnt realize she is falling for the new guy. Once she sees Dresden again she runs into his arms. The connection is still there, but then she realizes that she loves the new guy too. He knows about Dresden but didnt mean to fall in love with Jael. He knows he is not royalty. He has no claim to her... but he loves her. She is torn...

Pros and cons for each guy:

Dresden- History (little), Physical connection, both Crulian, best friends now with Jayden, Prince, Jael uses the memory of him to keep things together when in prison which solidifies her love for him.

New guy- love based on shared experiences, personality chemistry, natural chemistry, hes funny and easy going while Dresden is formal and serious (opposites), he falls for her without really understanding her powers, loves her for her true self.

Now for a name...

Chapter 14 updated

2011-08-02T14:51:00.001-07:00

I forgot that I finished Chapter 14 on my cruise.

Chapter 14 ~ Dresden
Ten days at sea. The ocean calls to me. I can stare at the blue depths for hours. Watching the waves is almost intoxicating. The constant playfulness as each wave crashes into another causing white foam to melt across the surface. Looking to where the pink sky touches the deep blue and seeing the horizon slowly take over the sun, the last ten days play back in my mind.
We had our little talk the three of us. We resolved the issues that were plaguing our party. The one thing we had not agreed on was for Jael to learn to fight. She was determined to protect herself and her connections. She did not want to be the weak princess that everyone seemed to think she was. The problem was more Jayden and Elan; Jayden because he was too protective of his twin and Elan because he was disgusted with the thought of teaching a woman to fight.
I had kept silent through the arguments as Jael tried to first persuade in her sweetest manner and when that failed, her attempts at convincing using every connection she had. Defeated again she resorted to demands. It had come to a head the night before over dinner. We were discussing our route once we land in Sundurnik and what possible routes posed the least amount of danger. Jael, fighting control, said between clenched teeth, “The route should be the straightest course to Reykjavik. We are running out of time! If you would just teach me to protect myself we wouldn’t have to worry about the risk.”
“Jael you are not the only one we are thinking of. Would you have us run blindly into hostile territory without planning first? We brought men to protect you.” She just glared at him over her glass. Giving up on him she turned to Elan, “If my brother dies because of your cautiousness then his blood is on your hands.”
I stood as she rose to leave. She met my eyes briefly and projected into my mind, “This is foolishness. Tell them. I know you agree with me.” Her eyes narrowed as she searched my eyes for something. It still made me nervous to hold her gaze. It was unsettling the control she had gained after her emotional shut down. She was right, though, I did agree. The more protection she had, even if she provided it herself, the better.
I had been thinking of her gifts and how they might help her in a fight. If she could do something to keep her distance from the enemy then perhaps her brother would yield.
I turn at the sound of her coming up on deck. She sways slightly in the wind and walks to the rail to steady herself. As she grips it I see her arm muscles flex. I stare at the definition in her upper arms. A vision of her gripping a bow like she grips the rail drifts into my mind. The vision is so sudden and completely clear it doesn’t seem of my own creation. She looks at me guiltily through her lashes, flushing slightly.
I dwell on the image of her with a bow. She could shoot a bow from a hundred yards away and be relatively safe. Concentrating harder on the image she imprinted in my mind, I close my eyes trying to decipher how she could blend her abilities with this skill.
It wouldn’t be enough to just learn the bow. She needs an edge and only her mental abilities can provide that in such a short amount of time. It would take her too long time to gain accuracy without something to focus her powers on. There must be a way to use her connections to give her added ability. Could she see through the eyes of her connected? If she could without taking over their thoughts and actions, be able to see everywhere at once, eyes all around the fight…she could be inescapable.
Noting that no one is within ear shot I walk across deck to stand beside to her casually. We stare out across the playful sea together. “Lady, could you do it?”
She looks sideways at me. After a few moments of thought she looks back to the waves as two crash together sending up a spray as if to kiss her cheek. She wipes away the moisture from her cheek smiling at my way of seeing the antics of the sea, “Not how you think, but yes.”
We stand there for a few moments watching the sun slowly disappear. Then turning fully to me she holds her breath studying me carefully. Finally she reaches out to me slowly. Touching my hand, my eyes fix on her fingers as she brushes my skin setting it on fire. I finally find her eyes. I cannot tell if she holds my gaze with her power or if her beauty just captivates me. It doesn’t matter. I have been waiting to touch her for what seems like an eternity. Like a drug her skin on mine is intoxicating. She runs her fingers from my hand to my chest fingering the gem at my throat briefly. All the while I just watch her barely daring to breathe.
Her hair whips around her face in the wind and the setting sun illuminates the green ring in her eyes making them glow. Caught up in everything that is Jael I forget the dangers of our contact. I reach up and cup her cheek in my hand. Her skin is so soft yet it sends an electric feeling up my spine. She closes her eyes and leans into my touch. As soon as her eyes close the world comes crashing in. I realize we are only inches apart; she is practically in my arms. I release her and take a nervous step back breaking our contact fully.
She keeps her eyes closed, but takes a step back as well. Sighing sadly she turns back to the rolling scene before us. “Will you teach me?” she whispers in my mind clearly unable to speak aloud.
Still not sure if she held me with her powers or if the moment was real I whisper, “Yes.”
“Good,” she says aloud. “See you in the morning then.”
I sigh and shake my head trying to make sense of my emotions. The moment was only her power drawing us together. I am sure it was nothing more. She doesn’t know me. She can’t feel the same way. I am Crulian. “Princess, we start at dawn,” I tell her seriously. I cannot let my desire for her get in the way of her training I tell myself sternly. She is a princess and I am Crulian.
“Prince,” she says with a slight bow.
I watch her go regretting pulling away from her. I catch sight of Raidon glaring at me from the other end of the ship. I return his glare and watch as he tries to bury his jealousy. That one could pose a problem. I can tell Jael’s lack of attention is hurting him. She avoids him at all costs clearly ashamed of connecting to him. It doesn’t matter. We will be docking in Sundurnik in two days. Putting the unpleasantness behind us will be much needed, for everyone.

Preface

2011-08-02T14:42:00.001-07:00

Wow its been awhile! I have been away too long. This story doesnt even feel like I wrote it anymore...

I was looking back at what I wrote last. I dont think I have ever posted the preface. Thought I should put it up here.

Preface ~ Trivina
I'm almost there. The forest started to look familiar. I broke into a clearing, Nuala stumbling in after me. She was only a pup. I should slow down for her, but the pull to my homeland is strong. There is something or someone who needs me. The memories of my past life had started coming back to me. Bit by bit I remember being human. I miss my mother, my brother Luka and sister Vienna. I can’t seem to figure out how to change back. I’m stuck in my beast form. I want my daughter to meet my family. She is at least half human. Even if they could only see her in her beast form, that would be enough. She yearns for company. She is drawn to humans. The few times she has seen or heard them she runs directly to them as if they are like kind, but she is not human.
I need to find our family. Someone to take care of her if something happens to me. With our pack gone she has no one else. Nuala was always different from the pack; she never fit in with them. She had too many human traits for their liking. Crulians in their beast form could be cruel to half breeds. We didn’t even know if she was half breed or full Crulian. When I was in heat I was not myself, so taken over by the beast in me, I had drifted from the pack with another wolf that I didn’t know. I never knew if he was Crulian or not. Nuala, the product of that lone wolf, was still too young to know for certain. One minute she was all wolf and the next she had perfect human thoughts and tendencies. It was nerve wrecking not knowing what she would do next. I have to find our family. People who will accept her for exactly who she is and isn’t.
Looking around the familiar forest, new memories start filtering into my thoughts. Closing my eyes, trying to make sense of the images that played behind my closed eye lids, a boy’s face floats before me, hauntingly familiar… a painful scene of him kissing another girl. As the memories become clearer I finally remember why this part of the forest is familiar. I open my eyes and gaze around the clearing remembering the scene so many years ago that changed my life forever.
I was almost 18 and I was falling in love. The lucky boy was a particularly handsome suitor who had just come to court from Kopavik. He told me everything I wanted to hear. I was smitten. I was ready to accept him as my husband, and the next king of Auster, when I found him in the gardens with another girl. Telling her the same beautiful words he had whispered to me not a night before. I was heartbroken. I ran blindly through the gardens and into the forest that backed the south wall. I didn’t want him to know I had seen him. I didn’t want to see anyone. I wanted nothing more than to melt into the forest and never have to see his face again. I had slept with him! How could he betray me when I had given myself to him? I knew it was wrong, but I was so sure of him. I didn’t think it would matter to wait until we were formally married. What had I done?! My father was going to be furious. I couldn’t go back. I just kept running. I didn’t know how long I had run. I stumbled on an exposed root and fell hard. I sat in the dirt and cried. I cried over my broken heart, over my lost virtue, and then as a different kind of pain registered, over the deep gash in my knee.
My tears mingled with the blood oozing out of the wound. I looked around finally noting where I was or rather where I was lost. I hesitantly scanned the dark forest searching for anything familiar. I couldn’t even see the sky. I got up slowly. When I tried to put weight on my knee I fell back to the ground crying out at the jolt of pain. I didn’t know what to do. I had run deep into the forest where no one would look for me or hear any pleas for help.
Just when I was thinking of trying the leg again, I heard a rustle in the bushes next to me and then the snap of a twig. “Who’s there?” I called out softly.
A wolf walked slowly out from behind a tree. It was huge. I gasped at the sight, but was too frightened to move. The wolf was a dark gray that shined silver in the moon light that filtered through the trees. It towered above me sitting in the dirt holding my knee. Strangely it walked right up to me and looked into my eyes. I threw my hands up to ward of its attack, but it stopped inches from my face. Dropping my hands to pear into his eyes, I saw intelligence in its gaze.
The fear drained out of me as fast as it had come. I wasn’t sure why I was not longer afraid, but I wasn’t. I reached out tentatively and touched the wolf’s silver fur on its shoulder. The wolf turned into my palm and moved its head under my hand. I stroked the soft fur on its head. It sat down on its hunches startling me into pulling back. It looked at me gravely and suddenly howled into the sky. I jumped. After the wolf completed its song it looked back at me and just stared into my eyes.
I felt something inside of me change. It was like a warm sensation traveling up my spine and out to my limbs. When it reached my neck and traveled to my eyes my vision changed. I could no longer see in color. I studied the wolf and the surrounding forest; everything was in shades of gray. I caught a whiff of the wolf. It smelled of rich soil and a muskiness that marked him as male. I could hear something coming. There was a light crunching of leaves coming from my left. I turned and studied the place I knew it would appear. Wolves filled the clearing. They slowly filed in one by one. I counted eight of them including the first male.
I started to feel the burn in my leg again from my injury. Instinct told me to lick it clean. I did not hesitate. I cleaned the tawny fur of the blood and sat back on my hunches. The lead wolf walked toward me and stopped just inches from my muzzle. He made a small yip as if happy I joined them and then howled his beautiful wolf song again. I couldn’t help but join in. As my wolf voice joined with his the rest of the wolves finished the pack song. I let my tongue loll out the side of my muzzle in a wolfish grin.
I looked around curiously at all of the wolves, but then reality started sinking in. I closed my eyes and tried to sort out my jumbled thoughts. An image of my suitor kissing and whispering in that girl’s ear sent me reeling. My life’s memories came crashing back to me. I was a human. How did I become a wolf? I jumped up and started backing away slowly from the pack of wolves before me. The pack leader stood as well. His voice sounded in my mind clearly. It was deep and steady, almost soothing, “You run with the pack now wolf sister… you are Crulian.”
Shaking my head to clear the mixed feelings of that moment so long ago, I look around the clearing so eerily familiar. I close my eyes, feeling very close to my humanity, I could almost make the change. The feeling of human skin and human thoughts consume me. I'm so close! If I could just see the castle I think I could make the change.
Suddenly feeling the urge to make the shift and needing just one more catalyst I run out of the forest and into the meadow just to the south of the castle, Nuala struggling to keep pace. There it is! My childhood home appears just beyond the meadow. I see men on the wall point to us running towards the castle.
The heat floods through my veins. I feel my hands slowly changing from paws to fingers and palms, the hair on my arms slowly becoming human skin. The heat travels up my back and flows into my eyes making the world around me burst into color just as three arrows land squarely in my chest. This was it. I had made it. I changed back. I was human… I was dying.
Nuala.
The men from the wall, bows in hand, rush to my side, eyes full of fear and anguish. I reach out to the one kneeling beside me supporting my head as blood trickles from the corner of my mouth. “Nuala… my daughter…take her to her… fam…”
He looks around confused until he sees the little white pup hiding beside me, “Yes. We will take care of her. I'm sorry. We didn’t know you were Crulian. Who are you?”
I couldn’t answer. Not sure if they would take her to her family, but content to know they would at least take care of her, I drift into the blackness that seems to be calling me to sleep.

Heres a little...

2011-03-04T22:24:00.001-08:00

Chapter 14 ~ Dresden

Ten days at sea. We had our little talk the three of us. We resolved the issues that were plaguing our party. The one thing we had not agreed on was for Jael to learn to fight. She was determined to protect herself and her connections. She did not want to be the weak princess that everyone seemed to think she was. The problem was more Jayden and Elan; Jayden because he was too protective of his twin and Elan because he was disgusted with the thought of teaching a woman to fight.
I had kept silent through the arguments as Jael tried to first persuade in her sweetest manner and then her attempts at convincing using every connection she had. Then she just resorted to demands. It had come to a head the night before over dinner. We were discussing our route once we landed in Sundurnik and what possible routes posed the least amount of danger. Jael, fighting control, said between clenched teeth, “The route should be the straightest course to Reykjavik. We are running out of time! If you would just teach me to protect myself we wouldn’t have to worry about the risk.”
“Jael you are not the only one we are thinking of. Would you have us run blindly into hostile territory without planning first? We brought men to protect you.” She just glared at him over her glass. Giving up on him she turned to Elan, “If my brother dies because of your cautiousness then his blood is on your hands.” I stood as she rose to leave. She met my eyes briefly and projected into my thoughts, “This is foolishness. Tell them. I know you agree with me.” She was right. I did agree. The more protection she had, even if she provided it herself, the better. I had been thinking of her gifts and how they might help her in a fight. If she could do something to keep her distance from the enemy…archery. That was it! She could shoot a bow from a hundred yards away and be more effective then any archer in existence. Her ability to see through the eyes of her connected…she could be unstoppable. I wonder if she can see through their eyes without taking over their thoughts and actions. To be able to be everywhere at once, eyes all around the fight…the possibilities were

2011-03-04T20:20:00.000-08:00

I'm stuck!!! Ive have been stuck right where I'm at for months! Ive been avoiding writing. Every time I sit down to start again I just seem to want to tweak what I already have. Creating new names, editing, etc. I just cant seem to write anything new. Here is where I am stuck. I don't think I have posted this section.

Preparing myself for contact with curious, prying eyes, I try to focus on Jayden’s back. I see the itch between his shoulder blades that tells me he feels my stare. Better he be uncomfortable then me make a frivolous connection.
Here I am again stressing over connections as if they are a weakness, something to be scared of. No more! Looking up into a random sailor’s gaze I pin him to the rail. His cheeks flush at my sudden attention. He tries to look away embarrassed, but he cannot. I flit through his thoughts casually as he squirms uncomfortably trying with every effort to tear his eyes from mine. His thoughts are shallow, as always. Bored, I find his core easily enough. Wrapping my power around him and finalizing the connection happens with one beat of his heart. The shocked look drains from his face, replaced with wonder. He smiles at me like I am the sun rising for the first time. His thoughts explode in my mind. I have never deliberately made a connection. It’s as new to me as it is to him. The intensity of his obsession is a little too much. I look away only to meet Jayden’s shocked stare.
“Jael…no. You didn’t.” He says at a loss for words.
Angry at the condemnation in his eyes I glare at him with as much coldness as I can muster. All the while the guilt washes through me. He sees both. Damn him for knowing me so well. The icy resolve I have so relied on crumbles. Tears stream down my cheeks. I am so tired of crying! I dash them away hoping no one noticed. Jayden, who never seems to miss anything when it comes to my emotions, reaches out to me tentatively through our connection. Tired of trying to shut him out I release all my emotions through our connection. It’s like a flood in his mind. I see his eyes glaze over as he falls from his horse. Too shocked to move, I let Dresden rush to his side. Oops. I should know by now that my emotions are too intense for him. Did I learn nothing the night Grandfather died?
“Captain, my friend seems to be ill. Could we get him aboard please?” Dresden says a bit desperate.
“Of course, Raidon, help Lord Ekler to his room,” says Dreygandon staring at the men on the ground, confused by Jayden’s sudden collapse.
Raidon, I realize is the sailor I so carelessly connected with. He stumbles from his position on the deck and crouches beside Dresden and helps haul Jayden to his feet. He smiles at me bowing slightly with my brother’s arm draped across his shoulder. I return the smile trying not to laugh; suddenly this whole situation seems funny. Jayden tries to walk but mostly leans on the two men as they drag him up the ramp and disappear behind a door. What a mess I have made of things. Shaking my head slightly trying to suppress the giggles threatening to rise, I turn to the Captain. “Well Captain, clearly our party is quite exhausted. Could we be on our way?”
“Yes Lady. My crew will assist you in getting settled. Excuse me while I make preparations for our departure,” He replies in his deep voice. Something about him intrigues me, but it will have to wait for another day. This journey has barely begun and yet it feels as if it’s spun out of control. Turning to Dresden, I say, “You, Jayden and I need to meet in to morning. There are things to be discussed and put behind us. It seems all of us have lost our way a bit.”
“I agree. Tomorrow then Princ…uh Lady.”

But now I have to start writing about the the ship voyage and I don't even know where to start! Help!!!

names

2011-01-11T11:21:00.000-08:00

So I decided I dont like some of the names of my characters. I want names that are different. So here are some changes:

Sasha- Nuala (New ahh la)
Jenna- Caecia (Kay sha)
Misty- Laella (Lay ella)
Ella- Vienna
Sebastian- Declan (Deck lan)
David- Greyson

What do you think?

2010-11-24T13:06:00.001-08:00

Man it's crazy cold out right now. Wish I was snuggled up on my couch writing.

Disadvantages of the blog

2010-11-21T23:42:00.001-08:00

One disadvantage of this blog is that I cannot copy and paste with the bolded/italicized sections. When someone is speaking mind to mind the quotes are bolded and italicized on my computer. I don't know if it has the same affect without it. Hopefully you still get the same feeling as I do.

Chapter 19 - New

2010-11-21T23:41:00.000-08:00

Chapter 19 – Jayden

The white patch on the top of Shadow’s head that I have been staring at for who knows how long blurs in my vision. I try to keep my eyes open as long as possible to avoid the tears threatening to fall. I look up just to make sure she is still within my sight. Having to confirm that she is near feels like a stab to the heart. I search again for the inner tie that seems to be tearing me apart. It’s there. Still strong and very present, chaining me to her, reminding me of its presence but not the life at the other end. Why can’t I feel her through it? She has always been like sun orbiting me for my whole life. She has always been there, more an extension of me than a separate person. I don’t even know how to function normally without her.

All of the sudden from my peripheral vision I see Dresden lunge at me. My automatic reaction is to draw my sword and dive from Shadow in one swift move. It took me eight months to perfect that move. I didn’t know I would need it against the Crulian Prince. Shadow dances out of reach just as Dresden comes at me with his sword. Still confused but determined to show this Prince that I can hold my own against him I set myself solidly and block his charge easily. We trade moves testing each others strength.

Annoyed with his playing I let all of the pain and anguish of the last three days fill my mind producing a clarity that clears my vision and makes me intensely aware of my enemy. Hearing his next thought I smile and twist with lightening speed kicking him squarely between the shoulder blades. He falls to his knees breathless my sword pressed to the back of his neck. Daring him to move an inch I spit on the ground beside him trying to control the shaking that comes after such a difficult move.

He puts up his hands throwing his sword to the side in defeat. I cut into his neck only slightly before allowing him to turn. He smiles viciously holding his neck and says, “You didn’t have to prick me prick.” So stunned by his words I laugh foolishly. A crowd has gathered and the city guards are shoving their way through the circle of people trying to see what the fuss is about.

Before they reach us I extend my hand to Dresden helping him to his feet. “What was that about?” I ask still shaking from the adrenalin rush. His foolish grin suddenly has me fuming. That Dresden would expose us so easily has me grabbing his shirt and violently pulling his face within inches of mine. “Explain yourself Prince,” I whisper dangerously.

“Jayden, I need you,” Jael’s voice trails up my spine and bursts into my mind. “Prince, attend!” Shoving Dresden away from me I turn to my sister. The sight of her makes me angry instead of sad or hopeful.

“What?” I demand. She stares at me for a moment but instead of addressing me further she turns Samson back towards the harbor shaking her head in disgust. Glaring once more at Dresden, I remount Shadow, calming her nervousness with my touch.

I glance at Elan just as he recovers from the shocked expression on his face and replaces it with his usual uninterested mask. What, has he never seen a sword fight before?

Turning my back to all of them I ride ahead to my sister ignoring her icy stare. The clarity experienced during the fight with Dresden stays with me as we come upon the ship waiting for us patiently, its crew staring openly at Jael from the deck. “I will handle this,” I say leaving no room for discussion. I leave her behind me and ride up to the man standing by the loading plank. Dismounting, I walk up to who is unmistakably the captain and bow slightly.

He is clearly of Sundurnik origin with his curly black hair and fair skin. Easily 7 feet tall and huge, he is not fat but muscular. His eyes are piercing but there is nothing significant of the hazel color. I make a connection easily. I immediately get the sense that he is loyal and to be trusted. I sigh in relief although I remember in that moment that Dresden was to be trusted as well.

“Lord Ekler?” The captain inquires in a deep and commanding voice.

“Yes,” I respond.

He bows and says, “I am Captain Dreygandon. Welcome aboard.”

Chapter 18 - New

2010-11-21T22:25:00.001-08:00

Chapter 18- Dresden

We have a problem and it’s not Jael’s icy mask. It’s that no one else knows it’s a mask. Jayden is so distraught he is completely useless. I can see in his eyes that he thinks he has lost his other half. He won’t last long without her opening the connection he so relies on for sanity. Tristin is so shocked by her transformation that he has lost the strong confidence that made him so valuable to this journey. Everyone else is simply stunned.

Traveling through the city to the harbor I try to think of a way to bring her out of her frozen cocoon or help her connections understand that they have not lost their heart. It suddenly occurs to me that I will have to accomplish the later before attempting to thaw out the ice princess.

Elan seems to be the least affected. Pulling my horse up beside him I try to determine his reaction to Jael’s dramatic change. “Elan, we have a problem.”

He regards me for a moment in silence. “She has gone cold,” he says simply.

“I am not as worried about her as I am of those with us whom she is connected to,” I say directing my gaze towards Jayden.

He regards the young prince gravely. “Yes, he is not as strong as his siblings,” he states with a hint of disgust. “His brother is much stronger. Prince Jon should not have let him come.”

“Jayden has his uses. We need him Elan,” I'm surprised at the defensiveness in my voice. I hadn’t realized Jayden had turned into a friend. “His simple connections have worked well so far. He is also good with a sword if you didn’t know. Have you seen him in the practice courts?”

“Practice courts humph,” He raises his chin clearly unimpressed.

Apparently our young warrior is a snob when it comes to the fighting arts. Shirley Elan had seen Jayden fight. He was known to be the best sword fighter in Nordura. Not that he had seen many real fights being a prince. I was sure his skills would be put to the test soon enough. I wonder if he makes a connection to his opponents. That would be quite an advantage. Even if his connections were not strong enough to force their actions he would know their next move simply by reading their thoughts.

Elan didn’t seem as affected as most of the group, but clearly he was not going to be as much help as I thought. I am convinced Jayden is the key to cracking Jael’s façade. Perhaps a sword fight is exactly what he needs. His confidence needs a boost. I cant believe I am considering feeding into the arrogance that usually proceeds every action Jayden takes, but perhaps once he is out of his stupor we can work together to turn Jael around. Now I just have to figure out how to get him into a fight without hurting someone.

Chapter 17 - New

2010-11-21T20:24:00.001-08:00

Chapter 17- Jael

Curled up in the window seat of my room, I let a tear escape my icy hold. The tear feels warm sliding down my cheek. Ice is better I keep telling myself. The flood of Jayden’s emotions battering at me almost broke my hold on the icy calm needed to keep my connections locked away. I miss him terribly. For the first time in my life I feel truly alone, no one to share my feelings or thoughts. Jayden has been such a staple in my mind. I feel empty without him. I am realizing how much I rely on his sense of humor and optimism to offset my brooding.

Why am I doing this? Park of me asks for the millionth time. Because my power must become a tool to save Jon not something I am scared of, I berate that small voice in the back of my mind. It continues to plague my thoughts. I will use my gift how it needs to be used. I will not let myself be emotionally crippled because of my connections. They will make me weak again if I let them. Squashing the voice, I seal my mind in ice and stand to leave. Taking one last fleeting look around the room that holds such bitterness, sadness, and pain, I leave. Leave behind my homeland, my weakness, and embrace the ice.

~

Walking into the common room, ice flowing in my veins, I see Kavan and the innkeeper waiting by the door. Seizing my riding gloves from Kavan without even so much of a look in his direction I brush past the innkeeper without a word. Walking into the courtyard, ignoring the nervous looks from my entire party, I mount Samson and take the lead from the courtyard out into the bustling street. “Direct me to the ship Tristin,” I project directly into Tristin’s mind without opening the connection and the possibility of touching his emotions. His silence irritates me so I turn in my saddle to regard him coolly. Blood drains from his face as frost fills my gaze. Raising an eyebrow I wait for him to collect himself.

“Down this lane and then east to the harbor,” he responds his usual solid voice quivering slightly. “Would you like me to lead the way Lady?”

Dresden and Jayden exchange a worried look. Glaring at them, I ignore Tristin’s offer of assistance, and turn Samson, swiftly riding away without waiting to see if they follow. Glad no one can see my face; I lose the ice slightly and close my eyes to collect myself. How could I do that to Tristin? The small part of me that refuses to embrace my new icy nature screams for me to embrace my connections and fix the damage I am doing to my family and friends. My heart hammers against my chest.

I cannot stay close to them, any of them, I tell that rebellious piece of myself over and over. I consciously have to slow my heartbeat and re-embrace the practical, icy side of myself. I cannot slip back into a weakling, I tell the small voice firmly. This is what is best for them. If something happens to me they won’t suffer from the broken connection.

I cannot afford to be incapacitated again from a broken connection either. I cannot jeopardize my mission; I remind the doubtful part of me. The more distant I can make myself the easier it will be. All that matters is Jon, and Grandfather’s last wish that I protect him. I will, to the death, and at whatever cost.

Chapter 16 - Updated

2010-11-21T20:23:00.001-08:00

Chapter 16- Dresden

The change in her is staggering. Walking into the common room, back straight, eyes dead of emotion, she stands before me and looks directly into my eyes. She grips my gaze with a glacial stare that is clearly haunted. Panicking, I try to pull my eyes from hers but she will not release me. This is it. This is where she makes the connection. “Jael don’t do this,” I try projecting into her mind. I cannot reach her, it’s like my thought hit a brick wall.

“It’s time to go. Is the ship ready?” She asks. Her voice sends a shiver up my spine. I'm suddenly terrified. Where is the beautiful, shy, gentle girl I thought I knew? She seems unconcerned with holding my gaze so intently. Her newfound control is hard to believe.

“Uh…yes. The ship is ready when we are. Are you ok Jael?” I ask hesitant.

Her eyes narrow dangerously. “I am fine, Prince. We leave in an hour, notify the captain,” she snaps. She turns to go just as Jayden enters the common room. He stops and stares at her as if surprised to see her. She doesn’t even register his presence. She just keeps walking and soon disappears up the stairs to her room.

Jayden turns to me still stunned. His face is puzzled for a few seconds and then his expression changes to one of disbelief. He sits down heavily in a nearby chair. “What is it Jayden? What is wrong with her?” I ask confused by this stranger who looks like Jael.

“She is blocking me,” he says absently. His brow furrows, then his face crumbles into near agony. He suddenly turns into the boy he was the night his grandfather died just three days ago. He looks to me, his body slightly trembling, “She has never shut me out before. I cannot even get a sense of where she is or what she is feeling.” He wraps his arms around himself as if trying to hold himself together and stares into space.

Apparently being shut off from a connection is painful. Not the same as the connection being broken but still unpleasant. I don’t understand why she would shut herself off from those who love her. This behavior is so unlike her. She seems so attuned to people’s feelings. Why would she do this knowing the damage she is causing to her connections? I always thought her obsession for the wellbeing of her connected was a weakness, but seeing what she is without it is…ugly.

Then it hits me. She’s scared of her connections. I wonder how long it will take her to realize her connections are her biggest asset not her greatest weakness. Perhaps the bigger question is how long will it take her friends and family to see past her icy mask. Looking at Jayden fighting the urge not to cry, I know he will wallow in the seeming emptiness she left him in and never realize that she is just hiding. She would never break the connection she truly depends on for survival.

Gently squeezing his shoulder I drop to his level, “Jayden she just needs time. This is her coping with the situation. We need to give her a chance to settle into it. It’s not just you. She is different with me too. All we can do is support her until she lets us in again.”

Putting his face in his hands he says, “I hope you are right.” He struggles to pull himself back together, not quite succeeding. “You must think I am terribly fragile.”

“I do not understand fully what it must feel like to have one of your connections broken, but I know it must be more pain then I have ever felt. You need to give yourself time to heal. I do not judge you Jayden. I am sure in your place I would be just as ‘fragile’”, I reply honestly. Standing up I suddenly feel exhausted, “Well like your sister said, it’s time to go. Lets round everyone up and get moving.”

Chapter 15 - Updated

2010-11-21T20:21:00.000-08:00

Chapter 15- Jael

Once they finally left me I let my mask slip. Curling into a ball in the middle of my bed I let the tears run freely. Keeping them in check was beginning to wear on my control. The dancing shadows on the wall from the flames flickering in the hearth seem to mirror the churning feeling in my stomach. The dead connection at my core is a constant reminder of what I lost and the reason for the flow of tears. The anxiety that made eating impossible stems from the dread of another dead connection. The possibility that at any moment my brother could be another lifeless tie, the potential of it was too much to think about.

Turning to bury my face deep in the covers and hugging myself more tightly, I finally reach into myself and register my connections. Avoiding the dark cord as much as possible I reach out and lightly touch all of my connections at once. The general feeling is one of concern. No doubt all of those I am bonded to felt me lose control. They are all a bit sensitive to my moods even when I am in full control. To feel the raw emotion that must have touched them all would have been at the least surprising.

Jon, sensing me, stops mid conversation with Uncle Draken and withdraws into himself. “Jael, are you ok?” He whispers. I can tell he is worried about me being able to continue my journey.

“Does it matter?,” I reply lamely. “I told him I would protect you, I promised.”

I sense his worry increase. Frustrated I whisper over the distance, “I can handle this Jon.” Can I? The thought of Jon’s blood on my hands solidifies my resolve. “Don’t worry Jon. Kind Reykjavik won’t touch you. I won’t let my connections be my weakness again. ” I break our connection before he can respond.

Angry with myself for letting the tears return, I dash them from my cheeks. Tears fix nothing. Grandfather is gone and crying about it solves nothing. The sick feeling from my stomach at the thought of his dead connection works its way into my chest, squeezing at my heart.

Taking a deep breath, I push the feeling down and try to ignore it. I won’t let this pain take me over. All that matters now is that I keep going. I will not let my feelings be the reason I do not succeed. It is better to feel nothing then to feel the pain.

Finally understanding what I must do, I close my eyes and close myself off from my connections. I block them all until only my thoughts and emotions are inside of me. Even my emotions I push down until all I feel is my resolve to keep going. I feel icy inside, numb. Numb is bliss.

Lady Editor

2010-11-21T19:55:00.001-08:00

Syrena is my latest reader. Her insights are amazing and I am glad to have her perspective on Jael's story (even if she disagrees with my vision...no I will not make them connect!)

How did she find me you might ask since no one really knows about my writing aspirations except Simon? Well I was sitting at her house drinking one night just minding my own business getting re-intouch with my story online. She was sitting over my shoulder asking me if I found a good book. She started reading and was saying how much she liked the story and wanted to know what it was. (Mind you she was drinking too:)

I finally told her it was mine. She insisted on reading it (when she was sober). She did and now she is sucked in ha ha. I'm glad I have someone pushing me to keep writing. Sometimes its hard to keep going when I know Jael is only in my head. Its nice to have someone to share her adventures with me.

I was on a plane yesterday and writing in my story (thanks to Syrena!) The lady sitting next to me was trying to read what I was writing (she thought she was being sneaky). I got a little stuck and decided to take a break. I struck up a conversation with my sneaky reader and she asked what I was writing. I told her its a book I have been working on for awhile. She was a bit taken aback. It was like opening a flood gate. She had so many questions. Quite strange really. Anyways I told her I was trying to finish a chapter because someone was wanted to read it (Syrena lol). She looked at me shocked and said, "Is it your editor?" I almost laughed in her face. Instead, feeling mischievous, I said, "Yes." When we landed I sent a quick text to my new editor advising her of her new role. So from this day forward Syrena will be known as Lady Editor.

Welcome to my world Lady Editor!

2010-11-21T19:53:00.001-08:00

Just set up to blog from my phone! Crazy technology these days :)

Connections- Entire story to date

2010-03-29T15:39:00.000-07:00

The Crulian Series
Book 1 – Connections

Chapter 1 - Jael

I lay in bed still sleepy but having been woken by the sunlight that was beginning to drift through the draped window beside my bed. The sound of the light knock on my door barely registers in my half asleep dreaming. Opening my eyes slowly, I blink to clear the morning fogginess from my eyes. Staring at the sheer fabric hanging over my four poster bed, I try to remember the face in my dream that gave me such a blissful feeling. I look out the window to register the time. The sun is barely peaking over the outer wall, its soft rays just touching the cherry tree outside my window. I love this time of year, the cherry blossoms remind me of pink snow covering the ground with their feminine petals. I smile, pulling my soft down comforter back over my head hoping to see the face in my dream again, not quit ready to get up.

"Your Highness? … My Lady, your brother wishes you to join him in his room," A small voice says from behind the door.

Stupid shallow girl. I groan inwardly at the girl outside my door. Why does she let him in her head when she knows it aggravates me? I’ve showed her so many times how to block his thoughts from entering her mind. She can’t stop him from trying but she can block him if she chooses to. Of course she doesn’t. Jayden is difficult to refuse. His mind wrapped around yours is an exhilarating feeling. I don't think she really wants him out of her head, most don’t.

"Come in," I mumble from beneath my covers. There is no going back to my dream now. As she enters my room I peak from beneath my layers of covers to see the expression on her face. Empty as usual. "Running his errands again I see," I say accusingly as she flops onto my bed. She doesn’t even have the decency to look embarrassed.

"You know I cannot refuse him my Lady." She says with a toss of her coppery curls. Jenna, my maid, dressed in a long cream colored linen shift and an over gown of soft grey wool, muddy brown eyes blankly staring at me, smiles as if she has accomplished something important.

"You don’t even try Jenna, it’s disgusting", I snap as I shove the covers from over my head and sit up glaring at her.

Her eyes flit around the room like a bird, gaze fluttering from one thing to another trying to avoid meeting my eyes, “It’s not like he makes me do things I wouldn’t do if he asked. I don’t think he even notices he puts the thoughts in my head instead of saying them aloud. And his compulsions are not unkind.” She insists with a shake of her head. I can’t tell if she is trying to convince me or herself. “It’s just natural for him. Is that so bad?" She asks innocently.

"Yes", I reply patiently. "Jenna he has no right to control you that way. Let him ask so you can give an honest reply to his wishes. You don’t have to do everything he says.” I pause to see her reaction. She looks out the window stubbornly. I try a new approach thinking perhaps she is too ashamed that she can’t resist him. “Do you need me to show you again how to resist his thoughts?"

"No. I remember what you showed me, Lady.” She pats my hand trying to placate me. She sits up straighter her mind made up, “I am a servant in your household, I could not refuse him even if he gave me the choice...and I like the connection he has made with me." She smiles at her last remark. "He likes me," She says with so much infatuation that I cannot tell if it’s the connection making her say it or if she truly feels affection for him.

Taking a deep breath, I take her hands in mine and look into her eyes. She doesn’t meet mine but I can see she is struggling not to. I have control; she could meet my eyes if she wanted to. I pause, waiting for her to trust me. She doesn’t. She looks down at our hands instead, "Ok I give up Jenna, but when he puts you aside for someone else to be his pet, don’t say I didn’t warn you." She shrugs and pulls her hands from mine. I notice the panic in her eyes as she considers Jayden putting her aside for another. She hurries to my giant wardrobe, which takes up an entire wall, and busies herself with picking out my clothes for the day. I shrug into my robe and wonder over to my vanity.

I finger its smooth pink painted wood, my mother’s vanity. I sit resting my chin in my hand and consider my reflection. I smile to myself softly and pick up my brush, a gift from my brother Jon, silver handled with opal insets. I run the stiff bristles through my hair beginning my morning routine.

My long brown hair flows through my brush like silk, soft curls framing my pale face. The rising sun catches the soft amber highlights twining through my curls and warms the smooth skin of my cheek. Licking my small pale pink lips I notice they are a little dry. I smear a little lavender ointment on them and continue brushing out my curls considering my eyes gravely.

The eyes that cause so much heartache, so similar to my twins. Icy-blue with a green ring around the blue iris, lighter and more striking than Jayden’s darker blue eyes. The pupils are a sky blue instead of black, framed by long dark lashes that swoop out and up bringing even more attention to my already strange eyes. Who could resist staring deeply into them, captivated by the exotic, unable to look away? I wish for the hundredth time I could change them for another’s.

Setting my brush down I lean closer to my mirror looking deep within my own eyes searching them for answers I know will not be there. I sit back disappointed, it’s no use thinking like this, I tell myself sternly, I have to accept my fate. Jayden has obviously accepted his.

Jayden, my twin, my other half. He uses his power so freely. He embraces his ability, making it part of him while I try to push mine away wishing it never existed. Of course, my power is much deeper and more dangerous than Jayden’s. His connections are so temporary and harmless and can be blocked or even severed. Mine last a lifetime. Once I have connected to you, you are mine. Mine to control; mine to read like an open book. The eyes are a window to the soul. Thoughts, intentions, desires, I can see them all.

I can control it now, the draw to look deep within someone’s eyes, see their depths and take control. Make the connection that will tie them to me forever. I control my power now, I tell myself again trying to force myself to believe it.

There are some connections that I wish I could take back but they are unbreakable, even by me. Distance is the only thing that weakens my bonds but it never really goes away. I feel the ties to everyone I have touched, like strings connecting me to them over any distance.

My most regretted and cherished connections are to my family. My grandfather, King David of Nordura for one, is mine to control if I wished. My brother Jonathan is connected to me since I was born and intensely protective. Jayden is just Jayden, his connection to me is absolute on every level. I suppose it’s because we are twins but truthfully Jayden understands my power more than anyone else and therefore holds a place in my heart no one truly understands.

The exception is my father. Prince Sebastian, son of King David, loves me and I love him but it was too difficult for him to look at me as a child so I have never made the connection. By the time my father and I were comfortable enough to have a relationship I had restrained my power. I do not blame my father for his distance. He was so distraught over my mother, who died while giving birth to us, that he never saw me or Jayden for more than an instant. Every time we were brought to him it would cause so much pain at the memory of our mother that he would send us back to the nursery, he became inconsolable. Our caretakers made every effort to keep us from our father after the initial few times. My father needed to heal away from the reminders of the cause of his wife’s death.

The breaking of a connection can devastate a person to the point of insanity. I can see the hurt in my father’s eyes caused by the havoc to his heart after the breaking of my mother’s connection to him. Her death broke him in every way possible.

I inherited my power from my mother, Ella. She kept her ability secret and had such control that she only made a few connections in her lifetime. Her most important connection was with my father. I always wondered why she wasn’t connected to more people since it is impossible to control this power as a child. Jayden and I never could control our connections when we were young.

Thinking back to the connections I have made in my lifetime there are different degrees. Some would barely feel the breaking of the connection I have to them. I made shallow connections with everyone who looked into my eyes as a child. My power was strong but my depth was not, therefore, those connections will always be there although they are shallow, almost insignificant.

People close to me have connections that run as deep as their emotional depth allows. Growing up with me and not knowing about the connections that were bonding them to me, these connections are absolute. Now that I have a depth that will support a deep connection I am careful who I bond with. It would take something very serious for me to make a connection now. I don’t like to take away someone’s natural affections or lack thereof. I do not want love that is not warranted. It’s an empty love, baseless. The connection creates a false sense of caring and adoration. It’s unsettling and sometimes terrifying to feel the emotions of those I am connected to. The thoughts that come to me are generally unpleasant and unwanted.

When I was younger I would look with the full force of my power and make the connection automatically without knowing it. It wasn’t until I could sense their feelings and hear their thoughts that I realized what had happened. I could see in their eyes the change from confusion to compulsion. People who didn’t even know me, their thoughts would become consumed with me. Then I knew they would be mine for life, whether I wanted them or not. I couldn’t help it, not for a long time. I just avoided people as much as possible, never making eye contact. Jayden helped me to understand my limits. His power is so much less potent than mine.

With my newfound control I can glance at a person’s eyes and see their depths with just a curiosity instead of with my full power. I have not tried to go deep enough to hear thoughts. I do not think I am strong enough to pull back at that depth and not make a full connection. I can look without possessing but it’s easier to avoid making eye contact with those I am not connected with.

Still staring at my reflection I allow my thoughts to drift. It has been 19 years since my mother’s death and my father seems to be recovered enough to look at me without seeing her death. We have a good relationship now though connectionless. It was this fragile relationship that honed my control over my power. I would never hurt my father like my mother did. I know she didn’t know the effect her death would have on those she had connected to but I am faced with this reality every time I see the haunted look in my father’s eyes. If we connected and something happened to me I don’t think my father would recover from another blow of that caliber.

I shake my head trying to rid myself of the terror of hurting my father. Needing something to calm my rising fear, I close my eyes and reach out to all my connections. Like threads drifting out from my heart, these bonds are my ties to happiness. I take comfort in them briefly; they make me remember I will never be alone. I feel along the stronger threads to those I care about the most. The strongest is Jayden, like a chain tying me to my twin. The next is to Sasha my Crulian wolf, a different kind of connection but strong nonetheless. I feel along the tender connections to my grandfather then further to my brother Jon, these ties worry me the most. The bond I have with these two could cause such despair. If I died or fell into the wrong hands the entire royal family, aside from my father, would break. It would take a decade to recover from such a wound. I retreat back into myself not wanting my thoughts to disturb them.

The familiar panic that comes when I think of what harm my connections would cause makes my eyes burn and my throat tighten uncomfortably. It is not just Nordura who would suffer, Auster would as well.

My mother was Princess of Auster before she made the connection and married my father. I am dual royalty. Being such close nations there has always been rivalry between Nordura and Auster. They were on the brink of war not 25 years ago. That is until my mother made peace with one look at my father. Our kingdoms will become one in my lifetime. My Uncle King Draken of Auster has no successor. My Aunt, Queen Isabella is barren. The heir to the Austerian throne is my eldest brother Jonathan. Jonathan, heir also to the Norduran throne, will be the sole ruler of our kingdoms. He will unite our lands when King Draken and my grandfather die or are unfit to rule.

It was decided that my father would not inherit. It’s best to unite our lands under one ruler. My father is happy the crown passes directly to Jonathan. Jon is a natural leader. Everyone knows Jon alone can unite our kingdoms. He is a political genius. The way he brings together the people of our nations despite decades of contention is a skill that cannot be taught.

I miss Jon. I don’t get to see him much lately. For one I do not like people to know how deep our connection runs. If it was common knowledge that my tie to him is a liability my life would be in danger. He has been traveling around Auster and Nordura for years forging peace among the people of both lands. He needs the loyalty of the common people as well as the Austerian Nobles. When he isn’t traveling he is with Uncle Draken learning as much as possible for when he inherits the crown. Jon grew up in Nordura so to take the crown now the Austerian people must be as comfortable with him as Nordurian’s are.

“My Lady, I think this one is perfect,” Jenna says intruding on my thoughts. I take one last glance at my reflection and face Jenna. She is holding up a long silver gown I am fond of, admiring the lace on the bodice. I like it because it is modest but well made and with enough intricate detail for it to be one of a kind.

“Thank you, Jenna. I think that will be all,” She looks up at me stung by my dismissal. She nods respectfully. “Yes Lady,” she says in a small voice on the verge of tears. She knows I’m disappointed with her for being so gullible with Jayden. I don’t mean to hurt her but I don’t want her to see how angry I really am, more with Jayden than with her.

Jenna gently lays the dress on my dressing room chair and turns to leave. I decide against the dress, reaching for my riding clothes instead. Jenna reaches the door as I call out from my dressing room, “Please tell Jayden to meet me in the stables in an hour.”

“Yes my Lady,” she replies closing the door quietly.

Chapter 2 - Jael

“Jayden, really, Jenna too,” I snap as he enters the stables. He is dressed for riding, his dark hair still wet from bathing. “I told you to leave that girl alone. She is my fifth maid in a year!” He ignores me and walks to greet his mare, Shadow.

He glares at me over his horse’s back his dark blue eyes are striking even to me, I catch my breath slightly. “I thought she wasn’t yours Jael. Free game,” He smiles at me wickedly. He knows I hate it when he treats people’s minds as property. He drops his voice and whispers, “Just because you are scared of your power does not mean I will restrain mine.”

I forget sometimes that not everyone knows our secret. I lower my voice as well. “All I am asking, for the hundredth time, is that you leave my maid alone,” I retort, angry more at his acceptance of his power then his actions with Jenna.

His face eases into his “I'm sorry” expression that he knows I cannot resist, “Don’t be angry with me Jael.” He sticks out his bottom lip in mock sadness, then laughs unable to hold his ridiculous look. “Come little sister, you know if I break the connection now it will just hurt her more. I’ll distance myself, I promise.” His expression becomes excited, “Are we going to sit here and be mad at each other or are we going riding?”

I laugh at his enthusiasm. It’s impossible to stay mad at Jayden. “Fine, but we are going to talk about this. There has to be rules Jayden,” I say seriously. He rolls his eyes at me and starts saddling his horse. I finish preparing my stallion, Samson, and join him in the stable yard. I inhale deeply, relishing the earthy smell of horses and the sweet scent of fresh summer hay.

“Where to today Jayden?” I ask. I can’t quite keep the enthusiasm out of my voice, I love to ride. Samson feels my excitement and paws the ground impatiently. I pet his velvety pink nose feeding him sugar lumps until he’s soothed into calmness. His little whiskers tickle my nose as I kiss his muzzle smiling at his love of sugar lumps. Samson will do anything for sugar. He butts me with his head sniffing my pockets searching for more. He almost knocks me over in his enthusiastic searching. Jayden laughs at his behavior.

“I was thinking we could go see Misty. It’s been awhile since we visited.” He replies hopefully.

Wiping my sticky fingers on my riding skirt I look at him closely trying to determine why seeing Misty would cause that tone. Misty was a recent friend I had made. She was the daughter of the Lord of Tregaurd, just a half day’s ride from the city and near our lake villa. I treasured Misty’s friendship because we were not connected and it allowed me to test my control by being around her. I was enjoying creating a friendship with her based on authenticity and not a connection.

It is times like this that I wish Jayden were ugly. Couldn’t he be my deformed twin or something? I laugh at the thought. It’s too hard to picture. Jayden’s beauty and charm seem to steal every girl around me. It can be very aggravating. “Jayden if you connect to her I'm going to beat you!” He laughs at my threat.

“I have not connected with her and I won’t if you insist.” He says sincerely trying to appease me.

“I do insist. Just once can we make a friend honestly?” I ask.

“Lead the way. I give it another two visits before you slip,” he retorts with a smirk.

He’s probably right I think briefly chewing my bottom lip, worried. I won’t let him see the doubt I suddenly feel so I mount Samson swiftly and take off before he has a chance to set himself. We race through the high grass of the meadow and into the dense forest that backs the palace with our guard following discreetly. They know to give me and Jayden our space.

Greeted by the tangy pine scent of the familiar woods we navigate the worn trails easily. Jayden soon catches up to me being the better rider. I push Samson ahead slightly and lead the way through the trees. We slow our pace and continue in silence, the noise from our horses muffled by the thick bed of pine needles covering the forest floor.

I’m too caught up in preparing myself to meet Misty to make conversation. I know the real reason Jayden suggested we see Misty. I have control of my power but I’m going to try something new today. Jayden gave me a task to test my control. We talked about it at length and I agree it will be a true assessment of my strength. I’ll see if I can go just deep enough to read Misty’s thoughts. I have always had to have a connection to read thoughts but I think I can do it. I need to penetrate just below the surface and not create the bond. I go over again in my head the feeling right before the connection is made. There is a point where I feel a person’s core. If my power touches their core then the connection is made but if I can get into the mind and stop just before reaching the core I should get the thoughts without the connection. It’s the stopping part that concerns me.

“It won’t work if she is feeling strong emotion,” I blurt out breaking our silence. “She will have to be in complete control of her feelings.” Intense emotion pulls too strongly. “Maybe we should tell her first.” I add reluctantly. I don’t want to connect with Misty, my only non-connected friend.

“Misty is always calm. I think if you tell her it will ruin the experiment. She will prepare herself and you need to know you can do this on someone who is mentally unguarded.” He states confident in my ability.

I take comfort in his faith in me. I am glad he agrees not to tell her. A person always looks at us different after they know. We have so few friends. We stick close to the family for the most part, safer that way.

Stopping for a rest at our favorite spot, I dismount and give the reins to Kavan, one of my guards. I walk with Jayden to our own private retreat. It’s a place we found when we were children. Through a screen of birch trees we come to a clearing with a small waterfall that empties into a shallow pool. I take off my riding boots and sit on the edge of the pool letting my feet dangle in the cool water.

Jayden sits next to me and we stare up at the clouds. “Where is Sasha?” He asks curious. It’s not surprising he would ask, she is usually glued to my hip.

“I’m not sure. She left my room this morning thinking there was someone she could sense she hadn’t met. You know how she is with strangers, she has to know them all before they get near me,” I reply unconcerned. Sasha can take care of herself. I lie back in the dew wet grass and inhale deeply. “This is my favorite place,” I sigh content. I try to let go of all my worries and let the calmness of our hideaway ease my tension. I close my eyes and listen to the robins in the tree above me sing cheerfully. I always wonder what makes them so happy. I envy such a carefree life.

Jayden lays back and opens his thoughts to me. He isn’t thinking anything specific, just enjoying my company. I bask in his feelings, content to sit here all day. I open my eyes and stare up at the clouds trying to make sense of their shapes like I did as a child. Jayden and I could always find something funny in the clouds.

Jayden’s thoughts drift to our mother. I see her through his eyes. It’s not a vision that can be explained. He mostly remembers her thoughts gently probing us in the womb. She loved us so much. It sounds strange to think that she could feel so much for us without even seeing us for more than a minute before she died. Jayden’s thoughts dwell briefly on the immense pain of feeling our mother die. I close my eyes and try to dispel the despair making my chest tighten uncomfortably. I swallow over and over trying to keep back the tears threatening to overflow. “I'm sorry” Jayden thinks to me an apology in the tone of his thought.

Our mother was connected to us even then. Those memories are fuzzy but the general feeling still haunts us both. Its one reason me and Jayden are so close. We took comfort in each other. Jayden is the only one who can understand that broken connection. Our father too but I cannot share myself with him completely.

One of our guard clears his throat quietly trying not to intrude. “Your Highnesses, we must get moving if you want to reach your destination and still return to the castle today.”

“Of course, thank you Tristan.” I say getting up. Jayden sighs regretfully and joins me.

It takes another hour for us to reach Misty’s home at Tregaurd. She runs out to meet us breathless. “Princess Jael, Prince Jayden,” She greets us bowing gracefully. “I did not know you were coming. What a wonderful surprise.”

I dismount and greet her with a warm embrace. She is always so happy. I envy her innocence.

“Innocent yes, but not naive nor shallow. I like her.” Jayden thinks to me as he takes Misty’s hand and kisses it gently. I glare at him for intruding on my thoughts. He ignores me and meets Misty’s eyes, “Lady you look beautiful today.” He says to her smoothly. I roll my eyes. His way with women is embarrassing. I throw the last thought out to him. He just smiles at Misty and looks more deeply into her eyes. She is stunned into silence.

“You promised Jayden,” I warn. He breaks his hold on her and turns to me.

“Yes Ma’am,” He thinks to me all innocence.

I turn to Misty and avoid looking into her eyes. I’m not ready yet. “I’ve missed you. How have you been?” I ask.

“Bored. I am so thankful you both are here.” She says in a rush, still flustered by Jayden’s greeting. “Are you just passing through on your way to your villa?”

“No silly, we came to see you.” I answer. Taking her hands in mine I lead her into the garden off the courtyard. Misty’s garden is one of the best in our kingdom. She has gardeners but prefers to work the rich earth herself. She has a fondness for roses. We walk slowly admiring the variety of roses in full bloom. I inhale deeply, the smell is intoxicating. She must have hundreds of roses here; it always takes my breath away no matter how many times I see it. “Misty you are brilliant. This place is breathtaking truly.” She smiles shyly and neatly changes the subject.

“Where is Sasha?” She asks curious.

“Home, she was busy when we left.” I reply. Everyone loves Sasha. I trace my connection back to her worried slightly. I sense she is still searching for her stranger disappointed we left without her.

I chat idly with Misty as Jayden trails behind us pretending to admire the garden. I know he is just waiting for me to get up my nerve to face my task. After exhausting all topics of conversation with Misty I focus on Jayden. He occupies himself smelling flowers, clearly bored. I can’t stall anymore. “Misty let’s sit. I do love this garden. We need one like this at home. Don’t you think Jayden?” I ask turning to him.

He meets my eyes and laughs at the anxiety he finds there. “Get on with it little sister” he thinks to me sternly. “Yes we do.” He says out loud for Misty’s benefit. He takes a rose and inhales deeply, rolling his eyes in ecstasy. Misty giggles at his antics.

I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. I turn to Misty and take her hand. She looks to me smiling. I stare at our hands, still too nervous to look in her eyes. The skin of her hands are as pale as mine, her nails painted a pretty pink. I look up at her face. She is stunning with her long honey blonde hair falling in loose curls down her back. She is dressed in a rose colored gown that suits her complexion perfectly.

Finally I inhale sharply and look at her eyes. I try to see just her eyes and not what is behind them. They are a light hazel with gold flecks framed by long lashes that almost touch her cheek when she blinks. She moves her eyes from mine to pick a twig from my hair. No one has ever broken eye contact with me except Jayden. I always have to be the first to look away. I'm so excited I look up to Jayden, standing behind her, in amazement. He smiles encouragingly at me. I look back to Misty and search her eyes again trying to go just deep enough to hear her thoughts. She looks at me puzzled by my stare. “What is it your highness?” She asks with a confused tilt of her head.

“Nothing. I'm just happy to see you.” I reply lamely. I look to Jayden again. “I’m no good at this,” I think to him. He returns my stare calmly.

I look to Misty again, this time trying to make it look casual. I look just a little deeper this time. I catch her thoughts. Her eyes are so breathtaking. It’s hard to look at her for too long. I wonder if she gets tired of people telling her how beautiful they are. “Your eyes are so pretty your highness.” She smiles and adds sheepishly, “I'm sure you hear that all the time.”

Jayden laughs at her thoughts and the following comments. I glare at him. I knew he connected with her. He shrugs at my accusing look. He has no shame.

“Thank you Misty. Most people notice my eyes but I think they frighten them more than anything.” I glance at Jayden with a smirk, “Jayden gets most of the attention as you have no doubt noticed.” She blushes assuming I mean her noticing him.

“Be nice,” he chides, never embarrassed.

Happy with my success I stand ready to leave. “Misty, I know it’s been a short visit but Jayden and I do need to return to home before nightfall. Come visit us soon?”

“I would like that. I will arrange it with my father. Thank you both for coming,” She says clearly disappointed we are leaving so soon.

“It’s been delightful seeing you again Lady,” Jayden says taking her hand brushing his lips along her fingers gently. Again she is breathless from his touch.

“Thank…thank you your Highness,” She stammers.

I turn from him in disgust. Mounting my stallion I leave without caring if he follows. He catches up with me quickly laughing at my irritation. He will never change. My task completed we discuss silently my next experiment.

~

“What if I try breaking one of my weaker connections?” I think silently to Jayden continuing our discussion of what my next task should be. I dismount and hand Samson over to an attendant. I glance at my brother still waiting for an answer. Following his gaze I see our grandfather’s steward walking towards us.

The transformation is automatic. Jayden loses the fun brother attitude and becomes a Prince. The grin leaves his face; replaced by a mask of polite interest. As the steward reaches us Jayden says, “Smith,” in a voice that sounds so unlike the Jayden I know, so formal.

“Prince Jayden,” the steward replies bowing slightly. “Your father and the King would like to see you, both of you,” he looks to me, carefully avoiding my eyes, “He will be waiting for you in the west wing study.” Why such a secluded place I wonder briefly.

“Of course,” Jayden replies automatically. I notice him looking at Smith so hard as if daring him to meet his eyes. Jayden will force a connection at any opportunity. I groan inwardly. Smith is well aware of Jayden’s ability and turns away after giving a short bow careful to avoid his eyes. Jayden’s smile returns as the steward walks away. He looks at me and catches my eyes with his. His expression clouds over with worry.

“Did you hear what he was thinking Jael?” He sends the thought to me with such force I take a step back. His expression looks like someone stole something from him.

“No, we are not connected. I didn’t think you were either. I thought since he knew our secret he would be careful to avoid us,” I respond confused by his intensity. My grandfather thought it wise to include his most trusted steward with our secret. I know Jayden resents his power being revealed to those not of his choosing but I don’t understand the feelings I sense from him.

“He is not as careful as he thinks. He is unaware of our connection,” His thought comes to me with a sense of disdain.

“What was he thinking?” I think to him curiously.

“I will let you hear it from Grandfather,” The tone of his thought is angry. I look at him with a question in my eyes. I’ll not break his trust and take his thoughts from him. He shakes his head, unwilling to give me anything more.

“If you wish,” I think breaking the contact. I know better than to push Jayden.

We set off to our rooms to change and meet the King.

Chapter 3 - Jael

As Jayden and I walk into the secluded study hand in hand, I am surprised to see a stranger there.

My grandfather looks strait into my eyes and thinks to me, “Child I trust you not to get overexcited but please leash your brother.”

I look at Jayden to see what he means and notice how furious he is. I grip his hand tighter and touch my other hand to his cheek turning him to face me, forcing him to look into my eyes. He does so unwillingly. “Whatever this is,” I think to him, “I trust grandfather so please be still. If you cannot control yourself, Jayden, I will.” He pulls out of my grip and tears his eyes from mine. I stare after him shaking my head in confusion.

I turn to my father and smile. Our relationship is so new sometimes it takes me by surprise at how happy I am to see him. He returns my smile and kisses my cheek. “Daughter, you get more beautiful everyday.” He whispers, his voice catching slightly, “Just like your mother.” I return his kiss and try not to see the hurt in his eyes. Strong emotion tends to overwhelm me. It is still difficult not to make a connection to someone in emotional pain. I turn to the stranger with relief.

I inhale sharply and take an involuntary step toward him. He is beautiful. He’s also Reydurian, far from home. He has the bronze, sun-kissed skin and thick, wavy, black hair common to his people. His hair is arranged in a styled messiness that looks casual but at the same time as if every hair is in its place. He is tall, a head taller than my 5’7’’ height. He is dressed unusually in the Baer style. Tan breeches with boots that come to the knee, fitted, v neck, white cotton shirt revealing strong muscles and a gold chain around his neck with a bright, emerald green pendant.

I look to his eyes carefully trying to just skim the surface of his depth, bold by my success with Misty. My eyes lock with his so strongly that I feel my power overwhelm me. I clench my fists tightly trying to break eye contact. His eyes are such a vivid green, hawk-like with a sharpness that misses nothing. I am lost in the depths of them. I cannot break free. Plunging down further and further to his core the connection is almost made. His thoughts just start to come to me in confusion and panic when Jayden steps between us breaking my concentration and the direct line of sight to his eyes. I lean on Jayden breathless with the force of my power overtaking me. I have never felt such a pull to make a connection. My vision spins as I try to concentrate on slowing my heart. Jayden lifts my chin and looks into my eyes. His gaze has a steadying affect on me. I allow my power to consume him. Our connection is so deep it takes me a minute to remember how to hold my power back. Once I regain control I release my hold on Jayden and he inhales sharply. He rests his forehead on mine. Both of us taking comfort in the others closeness.

I turn and look to my Grandfather apologetically. “I'm sorry,” I think to him. “I lost control.” Tears come to my eyes unbidden. I dash them away angrily. How could I lose control? My power is so tightly restrained, this should not have happened. I’m too frightened to look at my father, afraid of not being in command of my power. Who is this stranger with the green eyes that rips my control from me with one look? Tears slide down my cheeks unstoppable.

Jayden notices my tears, his fury is automatic. He hugs me closer to him covering my face with his shoulder and turns on grandfather thinking viciously to him, “I am taking her away from here. Do not bring him into her presence again.” Grandfather, not understanding takes a step towards me. Jayden pushes him away and sweeps me from the room. I look back just in time to see the stranger staring after me breathless and confused.

Chapter 4 - Jael

In my room Jaden helps me into a chair and starts pacing. His face is like a thundercloud. I know better than to interrupt his thoughts. He sighs, trying to calm himself, clenching and unclenching his fists. He suddenly stops in front of me, drops to his knees and puts his head in my lap. “Oh Jael you must not see him again. Tell Grandfather to send him away.”

“I don’t understand Jayden. Who is he?” I ask, confused by his despair. My heart is still racing. I am upset that I lost control but I almost want to go back and lock eyes with this stranger again. I have never felt anything like him. The pull is hard to resist.

“He’s Crulian,” He cries frantic.

Surprised, I twine my fingers through his curls thinking about the strangers green eyes. His depth was something I have never experienced, even deeper than Jayden. “Crulian? A shift changer?” So that was the secret he was so scared for me to discover. “Jayden are you sure? Crulians are rare and they don’t usually have dealings with kings.” Crulians have always been exciting to me. My wolf Sasha was part Crulian. I try to keep the elation out of my voice but Jayden knows me too well.

His head snaps up and he stares into my eyes. The force of his thoughts is uncomfortable. “You will not see him again Jael, I will not allow it. You cannot leave me.”

The betrayal in his eyes catches me off guard and I gasp, the reality of Jayden out of my life is agonizing. “I would never leave you Jayden.” I reach down into his eyes and touch his core. I infuse him with my love. I think of every moment of us sharing our thoughts, our love, our very being. I pour myself into him until he can hold no more. He sighs regretfully as I break my hold on him. Helping him up, I hug him fiercely. “I need to know Jayden. Why would a Crulian have such an effect on me? Why do I feel powerless against him? It was as if I have never had control of my power.”

Jayden avoids looking at me. He breaks our embrace and starts pacing again. I drop back into my chair waiting for him to answer. Just then Sasha bursts into the room. She runs to me whining softly, worried. She must have sensed my distress. “I’m fine, really.” I think to her. She is upset that I met a stranger without her. “I'm sorry Sasha. You can still meet him, he is with Grandfather and Father in the west wing study.” She looks at me and then the door and back to me undecided. “Go,” I tell her, gently putting a little force behind my thought. She turns to Jayden growls softly and leaves the same way she came. Jayden didn’t even stop his pacing to acknowledge her presence.

My thoughts drift back to the stranger. It’s as if we already have a bond but I search my connections and He is not among them. My heart starts beating uncontrollably at the thought of dropping into the depths of his eyes.

Jayden sensing my emotions speaks, “Crulians are very dangerous Jael. They have loyalty to no one. They are ruthless in their dealings with people.” He pauses obviously considering Sasha who has absolute loyalty to me. “Sasha isn’t full Crulian,” he says interpreting my look of doubt. He continues seriously, “That’s not even the issue. He wants you Jael. I made the connection automatically and sensed his thoughts. He has heard of you. He doesn’t understand how your power works but he has heard of your beauty and unusual abilities to control those around you. And he is drawn to you…he is not sure why. Did you make the connection?”

“No,” I reply. “You broke the contact just before we connected.” I don’t mention that I caught his thoughts. Thinking about his thought of panic at me discovering his secret, I feel the guilt of invading his mind overwhelm me. Making the connection feels so right. My power is hungry for him. The draw is hard to suppress. I push it away in disgust.

“Good,” Jayden says with obvious relief. “Crulians are said to have abilities that are unique to each one. He could be dangerous to have in your head.”

“Why is he here Jayden? Do you know what he told Grandfather?”

“No, we didn’t stay long enough for me to get any details,” He laughs bitterly. “I only know that Smith was sent to bring you to meet a special Prince.”

A Prince. Jayden’s anger starts to make sense. “Maybe we overreacted; perhaps my power just senses another equal. Do you think he was the Prince I am supposed to meet?”

Face clouding over again he says, “A Crulian Prince? I don’t think so.” He broods over the thought of me meeting a Prince and the implications involved. “I need to speak with Grandfather. Come, I’ll not allow you out of my sight.” I jump up to leave with him, excited that I may see the stranger again.

“Don’t be ridiculous Jael,” He says sensing my excitement. “I’ll not bring you in his presence again. Let’s go find Smith and have him tell Grandfather to meet with us,” I purse my lips in annoyance but follow him, disappointed.

Chapter 5 - Dresden

I can’t believe he just sent for his granddaughter. Did I imagine our conversation yesterday? Clenching my teeth in frustration I try to explain again, “Your Majesty I thought you understood the gravity of the situation. Was I not clear in our discussion yesterday the threat that faces you? The King of Raykjavik means to have you and your grandson Jonathan murdered. King Serovik feels it’s too much of a threat for Prince Jonathan to unite Nordura and Auster. Why do you bring me here to meet your granddaughter, I did not come for a social call.”

“Prince Dresden, please sit down. We understand and are grateful for your message. We have spoken at length and have come to a decision. It involves my granddaughter as you will see.” King David says patiently. He is older than I remember. He must be about 70 now. His once black hair is now silver. His body does not live up to the intelligence in his eyes. He is still solid but walks with a cane. He smiles gently trying to ease my frustration.

I decide it won’t hurt to meet Princess Jael. I have always wanted to meet her anyways. Her beauty is spoken of often. Her uncanny ability to compel all those around her to love her unconditionally is also well known. She doesn’t meet outsiders often. I’ve always wondered what my reaction to her would be. I am not so easily ensnared. Although I’ve never heard anyone speak against her. How could a girl be so wonderful to inspire entire kingdoms to love her? This I have to see so I relax and wait for the lady to appear with the same expectation reflected in the faces of her father and grandfather.

She comes into the room hand in hand with her brother, Prince Jayden. I’m at once taken aback by how beautiful she really is. Her skin is a creamy white, it looks so soft. I resist the urge to walk up to her and touch her slightly flushed cheek. She has long brown hair that cascades down her back and curls around her face and neck in soft curls. Her thin frame is balanced by her slight curves. She looks to her grandfather with a smile. Her smile fades to concern as she reads the look of disapproval on her grandfather’s face. She turns to her brother and touches his cheek, gently turning his face so he meets her gaze. I am instantly jealous. This is a strange, new feeling to me. I'm embarrassed at my reaction.

Jael, still holding her brother’s face, looks into his eyes intently. Something passes between them. He suddenly tears himself from her grip and walks to stand beside the King. She stares after him shaking her head slightly. Next she turns to her father. Sebastian greets her and kisses her cheek. She returns his kiss and then finally turns to face me.

She is wearing a modest silver gown that brings out her eyes. Her eyes! As soon as she shyly raises her gaze to meet mine, my heart begins to race and my breathing stops completely. She takes a step towards me and our eyes lock with such intensity I am frozen in place unable to think or breathe. Everything around us disappears. All that exists in this moment is her.

I can feel her penetrate my very being. I want so much to touch her but I’m locked in place by her stare. Her expression is surprised and then she seems to concentrate harder. She is seeing right through me, into me. I can hide nothing from her glacial stare boring into my soul. Soon she will know everything. In that instant I start to panic. She can’t know. I try to shut her out but she is inside of me, consuming me. Just when I don’t think I can take any more Jayden steps between us. As soon as she is blocked from my view I can breathe again.

After a moment I look to her father and grandfather for an explanation but they don’t seem to notice. They are watching the twins in confusion. Suddenly Jayden turns to glare at his grandfather and something passes between them. David looks puzzled and reaches for Jael. Jayden pushes him away and sweeps Jael from the room. I catch one glimpse of her before she is gone.

Shaken, I sit heavily on a couch. “What was that all about,” I ask them. They look at each other knowingly and turn back to me.

Prince Sebastian considers me briefly and then, with obvious reluctance, begins. “Your Highness, there are things about Jael that are not… public knowledge. We will have your word that what we tell you will not leave this room.”

“You have it. Tell me,” I reply.

The King walks to stand before me and looks me in the eyes. “Jael is special. Jayden as well,” he pauses considering his words. “She has an ability to form a connection with a person so strong they are unable to break it. This bond makes it possible for Jael to impel those she is connected to, to do her will. She can also read their thoughts and emotions. It’s possible for her to put her thoughts into their minds. She has a strong control of her power and never makes a connection unless it’s absolutely necessary,” He insists.

He again pauses to consider how to continue, “Jayden’s power is not as strong. His connections do not last and can be blocked if the person is strong enough and knows how. Jayden connects to everyone he can. He responds to thoughts more than to speech. Jael is more careful. There are some of us that are connected to Jael since birth. We are lucky she is not power hungry because she could control us all if she wished.”

I'm sure my expression was one of disbelief. The King, taking in my look, clears his throat awkwardly. “We wanted you to meet Jael because she is the solution to our problem.” He sits in the chair next to mine and continues seriously, “We need her to go to Reykjavik and connect to King Serovik. She can put him under her power and this problem will be behind us. It’s the only way to avoid a confrontation that would surely cause lives. We were hoping you could escort her there, you being the ambassador to Reykjavik for Claudbaer. This is with King Shalador’s permission of course. I would not ask this if I knew a better person that could be trusted with my granddaughter’s safety. I imagine Jayden will insist on going as well. They are inseparable.”

I don’t know what to say. I stare at him blankly. I look to Prince Sebastian trying to tell if this is all a joke. He returns my look calmly. “We would not have shared this knowledge with you if we thought there was anyone else more suited for this undertaking.” I nod, understanding his meaning.

I have a reputation in Claudbaer for completing my adopted father, King Shalador’s, tasks without fail. It seemed to my father and his advisors that I could accomplish anything if I was given the task. Therefore, I was given the most difficult and impossible tasks. I was who they went to when they could count on no one else. Yes, I understood their confidence in me. It wasn’t the task itself that I struggled with. I wasn’t sure I could be around Jael. She cannot know my secrets. “I will do as you ask on one condition,” I decide impulsively. They nod, waiting for me to state my conditions. “She vows to not make a connection with me. Whatever that takes I must have your word and hers.”

“Done,” The King replies with obvious relief. Clasping his hands together eagerly he says, “And now you must meet Jael. I will see what caused her distress and we shall meet in an hour.”

I had an idea what caused her distress. It was causing me the same anxiety now. I love her, I think honestly to myself. It only took one look but I can feel it deep within me. We are meant to be together. But how could that be? My kind do not mate humans. I am Crulian.

Chapter 6 - Jael

“No!” Jayden practically screams.

Grandfather looks to him and takes a tone I have only heard a few times in my life. He addresses Jayden as a Prince of Nordura instead of his grandson, “Check yourself Prince.”

Jayden relents automatically, “Yes your Majesty. I meant no disrespect.”

“Grandfather please try to understand. I lost control completely with him. Jayden knows how difficult it would be for me to face him again.” The King turns to me still King and not my papa. He remains distant for a moment longer and then relaxes his stance and looks to Jayden and sighs heavily.

“I do understand but Jayden, Jael you must understand the situation. Let me tell you why Prince Dresden is here. As you should already know Prince Dresden is the ambassador to Reykjavik for his adopted father King Shalador of Claudbaer. While in Reykjavik, Dresden uncovered a plot to assassinate me and Jon. They see us uniting Nordura and Auster as a severe threat. Dresden came to warn us of the pending danger. We have convinced him to assist us in preventing this disaster. He has agreed to get you face to face with the King undetected.” He pauses letting his news sink in. It dawns on me what my role will be at the same time the realization hits Jayden. He loses control again.

Jumping from his chair he storms towards the door silently commanding me to follow him. There is more force behind his command than I expect and I stand involuntarily. I regain control of my will almost instantly. I stand my ground and turn my will upon him.

He stops hand extended towards the door frozen. He pushes against our connection trying to break free. I strengthen my hold on him in response. “Please come back Jayden. I need you.” I think to him as gently as possible.

“I wont be a part of this Jael. If you do this it will be without me. Now let me go.” He responds, bitter that I would use my power to force him. I release my hold ashamed I held him at all. He leaves without looking back.

I stare after him in disbelief. Jayden has never left me when I needed him. The one person that understands exactly what my grandfather is asking of me. I can’t do this. Not without Jayden, and not even then. To deliberately make a connection after fighting so long to gain control? I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself. I’ve never been connected to an evil mind either. To feel the emotions and hear the thoughts of a mind capable of plotting to kill my family would be unbearable. What if this king came to understand our connection? He could try to use it against me. What then? It would be more of a threat to hurt me then to kill my family, it would equal to the same thing. I cannot break the bond once it’s been made.

I think of Prince Dresden, glad to finally put a name to the stranger with the green eyes. Could he really protect me? A Crulian. How could I work with him? How can I even face him again and keep my control? I can’t do it.

“Jael?” my father says again. I didn’t realize he was talking to me. I am frozen staring at the door still stunned by Jayden’s reaction and lost in my own thoughts. They are like a hammer smashing my heart to pieces.

“I won’t do it.” I say without explanation. I can’t face them. I leave in a rush shamefaced. As I make my way to my room the tears start to fall. I may have just condemned my brother and grandfather to death. My mind whirls with visions of them lying cold, skin the white-blue of death. I run blindly through the palace. I trip and fall against a wall, hard. The pain bringing me back to reality, I look around to see where I am. Of course I am right outside Jayden’s door. He suddenly appears beside me and takes me in his arms. The tears begin again.

Chapter 7 - Jael

Sasha is in Jayden’s room pacing. She pushes her head under my hand wanting reassurance that I’m ok. I ignore her and lay on Jayden’s bed. The tears continue unchecked. It’s no use to try to hold them back. I allow the guilt to wash over me. What kind of person am I? How selfish can I be? So many would sacrifice everything for me. Why can I not return the love so easily bestowed upon me? Jayden wipes the tears from my cheeks gently. “They do not understand what they are asking Jael,” he says holding me tight. He readjusts his hold on me so he can look into my eyes. “They will find another way to stop them. This was just the easiest solution. If you didn’t have this power they would find another way.”

“Oh Jayden what if they are right and this is the only way?” I sob. “What if my refusing ends in their death?” A thought suddenly occurs to me, “That would make you King!” He blanches at the idea of taking the crown, “They know you cannot unite Nordura and Auster. Only Jon has been able to unite the people. This would destroy the harmony he has so carefully cultivated.”

He scowls at me not liking where this conversation is leading. Jayden has never wanted to be King. He knows he would never be a good ruler, not like Jon. “They will find another way,” He repeats weakly.

“And if they don’t?” I ask desperately. My voice breaks and my eyes overflow as I continue, “Are you not only prepared to see our Grandfather and brother killed but become King as well?” He squirms uncomfortably. “Jayden I can’t do this without you. Help me.”

I can see in his eyes his defense is no match for my tears. He drops his head in his hands defeated. “We can’t get close enough without the Claudbaer prince. Can you face him again?”

I consider his question seriously. “You will have to teach him to guard himself. He was completely open to me. It wouldn’t stop the connection if I was trying but it would help me to be around him. I’ll have to be careful not to look at him directly. You will have to be ready to interfere if it happens again.” I take a breath shakily. “I guess I’ll have to meet with him again, this time prepared for the pull. Does grandfather know he is Crulian?”

“No. I don’t think we should tell anyone either. I don’t think Prince Dresden will respond kindly if we reveal his secret. I think I will have to tell the Prince we know. He will, no doubt, need to use his shifting abilities to accomplish our task.” He seems almost eager now to begin. “Let’s go. I think grandfather will be relieved to hear our change of heart.”

Sasha follows us, her nails making small clicking noises on the stone floor. I look at her and then at Jayden. “Do you think he will upset her?”

He turns following my gaze and rests his eyes on Sasha. “I don’t know enough about Crulian’s to judge their reaction to each other. She doesn’t like people that upset you. Maybe we should let her meet the Prince when you have more control,” He says seriously.

“Sasha,” I think to her, “Wait for me in my room.” She whines unhappy to be separated from me. She wants to meet this Prince me and Jayden keep speaking of. She knows it’s the stranger she was looking for. “Later, I promise.” She huffs unsatisfied but obeys.

~

“Are you sure Jael?” My father asks concerned. Grandfather already sent Smith to find Dresden and have him meet us but my father doesn’t like the reaction I had to him any better than Jayden did. He is sensitive to me making strong connections. He doesn’t want anyone to suffer as he did.

“Yes, I’m sure.” Its time I return their love I think to myself. I owe them this. “I need to meet Prince Dresden again. I need to be sure my control is not lost completely.” I turn to Jayden, “Can you please speak with him and explain what he needs to do?” He nods sharply and leaves to meet with the Prince. I hope Jayden can get past his prejudice.

Chapter 8 - Dresden

I pace the room anxious. What is taking so long? I thought she agreed to meet with me. The anticipation of seeing her again is driving me crazy. I stop pacing and try to calm myself. I laugh weakly. How can this have happened? I haven’t even spoken to her yet.

Determined to keep my cool I sit and try to empty my mind. I close my eyes and think of the feeling of flying. The memory always has a calming effect. I imagine the sensation of the wind through my feathers. The high that comes with soaring over the world and knowing nothing can touch me. Leaving human concerns behind and embracing the beast within. To be wild is to embrace the real me. I open my eyes and feel more myself than I have since she walked through that door and into my heart.

I start at the sound of someone approaching. Instead of Jael, Jayden walks through the door alone. He looks at me with a mixture of dread and hope. “Jael will see you, Prince, but there are things you need to know first.” He states without preamble.

“Go on,” I reply calmly.

He stares at me for a second and continues, “You need to learn to block your mind. If you stare in her eyes and open like a book the connection will be made. I understand my Grandfather explained her connections to you?” I nod, and he continues, “She cannot stop it. The pull of your mind is too strong.” He smiles maliciously and adds, “Since I have already connected to you let’s start with you trying to block me.”

I'm stunned by his revelation. “I do not feel a connection,” I say through clenched teeth. “There is no compulsion of love between us.” He laughs at my assumptions.

“My connections do not inspire false love like Jael’s. My connections only mean I can control your actions if your mind is weak and I can read your thoughts. I can also project my thoughts into your mind. My connections are not permanent. I can break them or you could if you try. Perhaps that’s the best place to start.” He says thinking aloud.

He sits across from me and stares out the window collecting his thoughts. I can only assume he is thinking of how to explain his mysterious powers to me. Making up his mind on how to start he finally says, “First you have to feel the connection.” I just stare at him blankly. He sighs and tries to explain, “Try to close your eyes and sense where I am in relation to you. Instead of seeing me with your eyes you need to find me with your mind.”

I close my eyes and try to locate him. It’s difficult since I know where he is already. How do you sense a person? I open my eyes and give him a look of frustration. He smiles and reaches for my hand. I jerk it out of his reach. He laughs outright and takes my hand deliberately. His hands are warm making me uncomfortable but I'm not sure why.

He stares directly into my eyes and suddenly I feel him in my head. “Close your eyes and relax,” his thoughts in my head are a soft whisper. His thoughts feel like my thoughts. It’s as if I'm telling my body what to do. My eyes respond automatically. I relax, my hands still in his. “Try to feel the connection.” I obey without thought. There it is. I feel his mind touching mine. I follow the touch back to him.

I open my eyes as I think to him “I feel it now.” He’s shocked that I made the jump from feeling the connection to using it. I sense his reaction more than see it reflected across his features. It’s strange to be connected to someone’s emotions so intimately. He smiles at my thought. I return his smile understanding him a little better. He releases my hands; I forgot he was still holding them.

“Ok now you need to learn to block my thoughts. Remember what the connection feels like and try to put a barrier between my mind and yours.” I think I understand. I close my eyes and find the connection. I focus on not allowing thoughts to pass through the connection. “Stand up.” I hear the whisper but my mind recognizes it as foreign and does not obey. I smile and open my eyes. “I still heard your thought but I could control my reaction. Was that right?”

“It’s a start. We will have to practice to the point that you can block the thoughts as well as the reaction. It will take a lot of practice before you will be strong enough to withstand Jael’s mind. Now that you understand the connection and can control it some what, I’ll need to explain the precautions you have to take with Jael. Don’t look in her eyes. We are trying to prevent a connection so resist the pull to open your mind to her completely. Even though there is no connection try to block her thoughts. She can’t meet your eyes or her power will take over and make the connection and neither of you will be able to stop it. I will be monitoring your thoughts and hers to make sure if you do start I’ll be able to stop it. Don’t fight me, ok?” He says pointedly.

“Ok. Anything else?” I ask.

“Don’t get any ideas about Jael. She is not available to you Prince. You will hurt her. She isn’t strong enough to withstand making a connection to you. The kind of connection you would have to her is painful to break, trust me. If anything happened to one of you the other would most likely not recover. Remember that.” He says seriously.
“I do have one question and I want a straight answer.” I ask waiting for his answering nod. “How much do you know about me?”

“I know you are Crulian.” He responds simply. He answers my next question before I can ask it, “Jael knows too.”

So my secret is out. Its better that they know but I’ve lived with it hidden from people for so long it’s difficult to adjust to company who are privy to my deepest secret. A few know what I am but not many. My adopted father, King Shalador and my brother Prince Alexander, both know. A few other people I trust. I don’t even know Jayden and Jael. I sigh dropping my head in my hands, trying to take it all in.

“I know it’s a lot all at once but remember, you know our secret too,” Jayden whispers in my mind.

“Please don’t do that,” I say exasperated, “One thing at a time, please.”

“I’m sorry, sometimes I forget it is not a natural thing to most,” He says apologetically. “Are you ready to meet Jael? You may even get as far as speaking to each other this time.” He chuckles.

I look up at him and smile. “Yes I am ready.” I stand and try to collect myself. “Let’s go,” I sound more confident than I feel. My heart starts hammering against my chest in anticipation of seeing her again.

Jayden laughs again. Standing he says, “If it makes you feel any better she has the same reaction to you.” My heart just beats faster in response. He leads the way from the room trying to cover his grin.

Chapter 9 - Jael

What is taking Jayden so long? He doesn’t need to explain everything right now. Anxiously sitting in my grandfather’s council room waiting to see Dresden again, I am having a hard time not fidgeting. My grandfather takes in my fluttering hands and looks at me knowingly trying to look stern but failing miserably. I look to him and smile embarrassed. “I can’t help it Papa,” I think to him.

“I know,” He says aloud smiling.

I sigh and get up to stare out the window. I don’t know if I can face him when he walks in. Maybe I’ll just not turn around. He can speak to my back, would that be impolite? Probably but I'm not sure I can manage hearing him speak and not meeting his eyes.

I hear the door open and my heart does a little dance in my chest. It takes all my control not to turn around. “I need you,” I think desperately to Jayden ashamed at my lack of self control. He comes to me immediately and squeezes my hand reassuringly. I look to him expecting to feel his dislike for our stranger but I sense an understanding instead. Curious, I ask silently, “How did it go?”

“Good. I think you can look at him. I showed him how to block, just don’t look directly in his eyes if you can help it. If you do, don’t worry I will be here to stop you before the connection is formed.” When I don’t budge he pushes me slightly in Dresden’s direction but keeps my hand firmly in his. “Go say hello little sister.”

I look to my father instead wanting to make sure of my control on someone I have been resisting the connection with for longer. He smiles at me not understanding fully my hesitation. He makes the introductions casually, “Jael, this is Prince Dresden of Claudbaer. He will escort you to Reykjavik to meet King Serovik.”

Finally I look to Dresden avoiding his eyes. I register again his beauty. This time I am ready for the pull to look into his eyes. I resist it and can feel him resisting too. It helps; he is not fully open to me. I sigh with relief and take a step in his direction. He meets me half way, “Prince Dresden,” I nod to him. He takes my free hand and lifts it to brush against his lips. The simple contact is agony. The pull so strong I tear my hand from his and lean on Jayden.

“Easy,” He thinks to me gently.

“I’m so sorry, Prince; I am not myself. This is very difficult for me. I have never felt a pull so strong.” I look to him apologetically and catch his eyes on accident. The hurt reflected in his eyes is too much. I can feel his resistance but I brush it aside easily. I fall fast knowing the way to his core.

His thoughts hit me hard, “Stop! Please!” He screams in my head.

Jayden’s thought follows right behind his, “Jael, look at me NOW!” The force behind his thought breaks my hold and then his face is in front of mine. His eyes search mine and satisfied I have control again he steps from between us.

I stare at the ground not trusting myself to even look at his feet. “Maybe we will have to work on physical contact,” I say dizzy from the intensity of the moment.

“Yes, I understand. I will try to keep my distance.” He replies breathless. “It’s nice to meet you Princess. I hope we can become more accustomed to each other in the time it takes to reach Reykjavik.”

“I am sure time will make it easier. Thank you. If you will excuse me,” I nearly run from the room, Jayden trailing after me.

~

Once back in my room, I breathe a sigh of relief to be out of his presence. The desire I have to be near him and the want to avoid a connection, war with each other in my heart.

“Well that wasn’t a complete disaster,” Jayden says optimistic.

“Not completely, no.” I agree solemnly. “Jayden how am I supposed to travel with him? I can’t even stand his touch.”

“Then don’t let him touch you,” He replies simply. “Jael it will get better with time and there will be our entire guard and me to be a buffer until you can reel in your emotions for him. He did better than I thought. He learns fast,” Jayden says examining his nails, clearly proud of his pupil.

“He did make it easier than the first time. He was resisting. You taught him that in 15 minutes?” I ask bemused.

“Like I said he learns fast.” Reading my expression he knows I am not convinced. “Don’t worry so much. Even if you look in his eyes I will be there to stop any bond from forming, I promise.”

I nod in agreement. There is not much else I can do to protect him. If it happens I hope he remembers I tried.

Chapter 10 - Jael

The next morning I am waiting in the stable yard. Samson is saddled and ready for our journey to begin. Jenna looks at me miserably. She hates to travel. I ignore her pouting. She is the only maid that knows about our powers. Everyone in our party must be someone trusted with our secret and all have been briefed on Dresden’s identity as well. There will be no secrets on this journey; we will need every tool at our disposal.

My guard is ready we are just waiting for Jayden, his men, Dresden and Sasha. My guard consists of Tristan, Avery, Elan, and little Kavan. Tristan is a solid man in his late 40’s. He has been my primary guard since I was born. Over the years he has handpicked additional men to serve and protect me.

Avery is 26 and very handsome. We connected when I was 14 and he has been enamored with me since. He joined the guard just to be closer to me. He is good at keeping his feelings to himself content with being near me and in a protective role. I have always been fond of Avery, he is like a puppy always full of love and happy with any attention he gets.

Elan is the newest addition to my guard. He is the latest Pribaer Guardian. A warrior gifted to Nordura. For two hundred years there has been a Pribaer gift of one warrior to always protect the Norduran King, called a Guardian. Elan was that present Guardian. Nordura has long supported the Pribaer people’s desire to stay hidden behind their mountains and has many times gone to war with other nations to protect its borders when hungry Kings wished to clean out the Pribaer mountains of their monsters and fortify their armies with fire skins. The unbroken line of Guardians was their gift to the Norduran kings for their continued support.

Jayden and I had argued at length to have Elan stay behind to protect Jon or Grandfather but we were overruled by all three heads of state, Grandfather, Father, and Jon. They agreed that Elan should to be with me to defend me at every cost. I was the only one who could protect them in the long term, was their argument.

Thinking back to the history lesson I had about Elan's homeland when I was a girl, I remember being fascinated by the way their culture was so different from our own.

Pribaer is mostly mountains known for its fearsome beasts with a secluded piece of land where most of the people live. All Pribaerians are taught to defend the mountains against any outsider and defend the towns from the beasts of the mountains. They are fiercely protective of their homeland and rarely travel beyond the mountains into the rest of the world.

The area that is populated with cities is cut off from the world on the south side not by mountains but by sheer cliffs to the ocean. There are no ports in Pribaer, the only way in or out is through one of its four passes.

The male Pribaerians are taught from a young age to fight the mountain beasts. They are also bred to hate outsiders. There is a trade post on the southern pass coming out of the Pribaer for trading and this is the most contact outsiders have with the people of Pribaer.

The goods they trade are the warm beautiful pelts of the beasts in their mountains only they seem to know how to kill. They are very expensive since not only is the fur beautiful and soft but it changes color with the weather, in the fall they transform to the color of fall leaves, fire reds and golden yellows. In the spring they tend to be a soft green. In the winter they range from gray to white depending on the temperature. In the summer they could be any color depending on where you were. Therefore, when wearing fire skins you almost always blend in with your surroundings.

Pribaer fire skins are also tough as steel armor. The skins have to be molded to a wearer with a special technique so they fit like the persons own skin. Once they have been altered they will fit no one else. Most have to travel to the trade center to get their skins molded since there are very few merchants from Pribaer that will travel to a customer. You also have to prove yourself to the Pribaer to wear their skins. Only warriors of great skill are granted these rare pelts.

Elan is covered from head to toe in Pribaer fire skins. He is intimidating with his hairy garb and aloof attitude. He was very loyal especially to Jon and it seems that loyalty has transferred to me.

He turns to me feeling my stare. He meets my eyes unafraid and gives me a curt nod. I return his nod with a smile, glad he has the courage not to be afraid of my gaze.

The final person assigned to protect me is little Kavan. He was Jayden’s attendant at first but was not content with being a servant. My Father agreed to let him be in my guard more to run errands and prepare gear for the other three. He is young, only 17, but dependable and very intelligent. Being of Sundurik origin made him especially valuable to the present trip. He knows the language of the northern lands and is familiar with many of the Reykjavik cities having family in the area. He traveled regularly with his parents before they settled in Nordura two years ago.

Jayden’s guard Carter and Mason were also coming. They both have been with Jayden since childhood but are usually part of the castle guard. I don’t know them well because it’s usually my guard that travels with us. We don’t usually need additional men for our normal excursions.

Prince Dresden does not have attendants at all. I have never met a Prince like him. He doesn’t have the usual royal superiority about him. He seems more like a commoner than a Royal Prince. I wonder how old he was when he was adopted by King Shalador.

I see him walking towards me and quickly avert my eyes. As I study Samson’s mane I wonder if he is still blocking or if he forgot. The pull is strong. I notice Jenna perk up at the sight of him. I move Samson so Jenna is between me and the Prince cutting off any possible eye contact. Avery noticing my maneuver moves closer and puts himself between me and the Prince as well. I look to him gratefully.

“Lady, would you like to take a turn around the meadow while we wait? Samson seems like he could stretch his legs.” He smiles at me hopefully.

“Thank you Avery. I take it my Father briefed you on the situation.” I nod slightly in Dresden’s direction. He blushes knowing that he was caught in his subterfuge. “I think you are right, Samson is feeling a little antsy. Shall we?”

I can feel his excitement through our connection. I laugh, getting my mental picture of a puppy again. Speaking of puppies, Sasha my half Crulian wolf, bounds up to Samson weaving in and out of his legs with an ease that comes from much practice. She jumps up enthusiastic at seeing me. She looks around trying to figure out if we are going somewhere and excited by the prospect.

Sasha is a wolf that I took in two summers ago. She was just a few months old and her mother had been killed by archers on the castle wall. Wild animals are not allowed too close to the castle and this one wandered right into our meadow. They didn’t see the pup following her till there were already three arrows that had found their mark. They did not know the wolf was Crulian until she phased back into her human form. The woman’s last request was that someone look after her daughter Sasha. Unsure of what to do with her they brought Sasha to me.

Sasha is the only animal I have ever connected with. I didn’t think to shield against her. It had never happened before with any other of the palace animals but as soon as I looked her in the eyes her thoughts came to me all jumbled together. They didn’t tell me her mother was Crulian until after I had connected to her. Her thoughts are not exactly human more like feelings and impressions. They get more and more clearly human however as she gets older.

Sasha has always been special. She is always happy and has endless energy. I’ve thought a lot about why I connected with her. She is the reason I have always been so interested in the Crulian. Once Crulian change into their beast form only about a third can return to their human form. Most just become wild. Sasha’s mother was Crulian and I have always believed that is why she came so close to human civilization, she was trying to regain her humanity.

Sasha can understand human speech completely. She reacts to my emotions she feels through our connection and understands when I need her to do something difficult. She is pure white with ice blue eyes much like my own just missing the green ring around the blue iris.

Sasha jumps up to rest her paws on my leg and nudges my hand in greeting. Samson stands still, used to Sasha’s actions. She projects happiness to see me and is curious where we are going. “Good morning Sasha. It’s nice to see you too. We are going on a trip to Reykjavik.” Her excitement explodes in my mind. I smile in response, “Now please get down before Samson bites you.” I think to her sternly. She pushes off me and turns to Samson. They have their own kind of greeting, Samson ignores her and Sasha dances in front of him trying to get his attention. I laugh at their familiar game.

Avery still waiting patiently watches me and my animals with amusement. I nudge Samson into motion. He gallops through the meadow with Sasha following easily. I let him stretch his legs for awhile until I hear a low whistle and regretfully return to the stable yard. I see our party is ready to go. I ride up to Jayden thinking to him, “Are we ready?”

“Yes,” He responds aloud.

I look around, there are ten of us total; Jayden, Dresden, Jenna, Avery, Tristan, Elan, Kavan, Carter, Mason and Me. Eleven counting Sasha. I always count her as a person more than one of our animals.

I fall in beside Jayden and allow Tristan to lead the way. We file out of the courtyard. As we enter the woods I look back once and see my childhood home disappear behind me. It will never be the same again, I think sadly to myself. My home will likely stay the same but this journey will change me, I can feel it.

“Change is good,” Jayden thinks to me.

I turn to him and smile weakly, “I hope you’re right.” I turn my back firmly to my home and look to the future stretched out before me. I hope he’s right.

Chapter 11 - Jael

Three days later we crest a hill and look down on Burrow Harbor. The main port city of Nordura, Burrow Harbor is my favorite city in my homeland. Full of diversity I love to come here and just people watch. People from other places fascinate me. I have always wanted to travel and see the world but being a Princess has its drawbacks. Everywhere I go there is such a production, I never really get to see a real city. I only see what the monarch wants me to see. This time it will be different. On this trip I will not be Princess Jael of Nordura. I am just Jael.

We are dressed down in the common travel garb of Nordura. We will be traveling as minor nobility, not worth notice. It’s a good thing I have avoided people for most of my life too scared to make connections, not many will recognize me. It will also serve us well that me and Jayden can communicate with our party silently. My newfound ability to hear thoughts of those I am not connected to allows me to read people without making connections. We will know as soon as someone recognizes us or if anyone poses a threat. We can relay any information to our guard to resolve issues swiftly and without notice.

Jayden will have to communicate with Dresden. I know my control is not good enough around him yet. I try to avoid him as much as possible. I always know where he is however, like a magnet moving around me constantly with his pull always in the back of my mind. Sometimes I feel his eyes on me. At those times I have to concentrate with all of my strength to withstand the draw to look at him. Jayden often senses our struggle and intervenes. The constant strain has made me stronger. I feel my control getting more firm. I get more and more comfortable with his steady pull.

We pause to take in the view of Burrow Harbor. I notice Sasha quivering with anticipation standing near Dresden. He reaches down to pet her head and mutters something in her ear, she calms at his touch. Sasha’s initial reaction to Dresden and his to her was interesting to watch. The moment she saw him she was in love. She follows him around with a mindless bliss, like he connected to her in some way. His reaction to her was one of shock. He just stared at her in disbelief the first time he met her. She ran to him and nearly knocked him over with her greeting. He steadied himself at the last second and took her weight easily. I thought he might hurt her since her charge looked more like an attack by a wild wolf. He took her head in his hands and looked into her face, confusion then happiness running across his features. After satisfying himself of what she was he looked to Jayden and said, “Where did you find her?”

Jayden looked to me briefly and then responded, “She is under Jael’s care since she was a pup and we killed her mother. She was in wolf form and came within shooting range of the castle wall.”

A look of hurt crossed Dresden’s features suddenly and then it was gone, replaced by understanding.

Jayden said regretfully, “I’m sorry Dresden we did not know what she was until it was too late. She shifted back to her human form right before she died. It was too late to save her. Her last request was that someone look after Sasha.”

“I understand,” He said sadly. We never spoke of it again but after their initial introduction, Sasha followed him around almost constantly except for the few times a day she came to check on me. Dresden treated her like a person, speaking to her conversationally like she was the same as the rest of us. I was glad since that was not the usual reaction she received. Most were scared of her almost human behavior.

“Where to your highness?” Tristan asks looking to Jayden.

Jayden turns to face our entire group. “This will be our first time passing as minor nobility in a populated area, let’s lose the “highnesses” and fall into our roles. I am the younger son of Baron Ekler of Pennington and Jael is my twin sister. Please remember to refer to us only as Lord and Lady while still in Nordura, our names are too well known. Dresden you will have to pass as one of our guard.” He nods in agreement. “Ok let’s find an inn for the night and then we will need to book passage for Sundurnik.”

“I think the Feather Inn would be most appropriate my Lord,” Tristan suggests.

“Lead the way,” He agrees. It’s obvious we cannot stay in our normal inn set aside for visiting royalty and the very rich.

We make our way down the steep hill into the city. We pass unnoticed at the gates and make our way into the market. It’s still early in the day and the market is busy. There are people from everywhere going about their daily business. It’s a much different view as one of them and not a Princess. Normally the street would be cleared and my party ushered along to a place secluded and thought to be safe. I would have to send an attendant to fetch things from the market for me.

Now, I gaze around overwhelmed by all the bright colors and foreign faces. No one seems to recognize us. I sift through the thoughts of those closest to us, grazing through a sea of snippets of information. The thoughts that come to me are general: what people are going to buy, an errand needing to be run, so and so is late, one woman admires Avery from a distance. I pass through the crowd not sensing anything out of the ordinary.

Then I lock eyes with someone almost familiar. It’s a spice merchant that comes to the palace to sell spices to our cook. He looks intently at me recognizing me by my eyes. He is about to address me by title in the middle of a crowded market! I think quickly to Tristan, “That man to your left by the spices, he recognizes me!” Tristan moves automatically cutting off my view. He slides from his saddle and approaches the man taking his arm and steering him around a corner firmly. Jayden follows discreetly. When they return I look to Jayden quizzically.

“He doesn’t remember us anymore.” He smiles waiting for my reaction. He must have connected to him and changed his thoughts. I try to decide how I feel about this. I suppose it doesn’t hurt him and Jayden’s connections are harmless. I smile back at him.

We pick up our pace and make it to the inn in the west part of town not far from the docks. The inn is in good condition but nothing particularly special. As we enter the stable yard a boy about 11 comes to take our horses. He stares at me open mouthed unable to speak. I search his thoughts curious that he would recognize me. He doesn’t, his thoughts are those of an innocent boy not used to seeing beautiful women. I smile at him surprised by his thoughts. He blushes a deep red embarrassed that he stared at me for so long. He shifts his stare trying to avoid looking at me again only to find four men suddenly glaring at him.

It takes me a minute to understand the glares. I have always known I was beautiful but I sometimes forget. I don’t meet many strangers and those close to me are for the most part connected to me. My connected all think I am beautiful but not because of my physical appearance. They are also highly protective, the males especially. I sigh irritated; “He’s only a child” I project to all of them at once. They all turn to me at the same time identical looks on their faces.

Jayden shrugs and moves on into the common room of the inn. Avery looks back to the boy still glaring. Tristan follows Jayden into the inn. I don’t dare look at Dresden. He’s just as bad as the rest of them even without a connection, I think to myself bitterly. I smile again at the boy reassuringly and follow the others inside.

Sasha rubs against me as we enter the inn, uncomfortable indoors of unfamiliar places. It’s dark inside. As my eyes adjust to the dim light I look around curious. A cheery fire in a low hearth gives off warmth and a little light. There is something wonderful cooking in the pot resting in a hook above the fire. The aroma of rosemary and garlic fills the room making me realize just how hungry I am. The floor is clean and the furniture well made. A small round woman comes to greet us with a smile, “Welcome. What can we do for you today?” She says addressing Tristan.

“We need lodging for 10 of us. The Lady and her maid would like a bath as soon as possible and an evening meal as well.” He responds.

Her eyes sweep our party curious. She looks to me briefly. I skim her thoughts finding only a commoner’s curiosity of nobles. Her eyes rest on Sasha. “Of course my lord, the dog will stay in the stables I presume?”

I am about to protest when Tristan says, “The wolf is protection for the lady and stays with her in her room. Is this a problem?”

“Oh no, let me get you settled in.” She turns to me smiling, “Come my Lady, we have a comfortable room away from the common area so you can get a proper rest.”

“Thank you,” I reply following her up the stairs as Jenna and Sasha trail behind us.

“The boy outside, is that your son?”

“Yes, Joshua. Was he any trouble Lady?” She asks nervous.

“No but I think we gave him a bit of a scare. Give him my apologies please?”

“I will thank you.” We arrive at a room on the top floor at the furthest end of the house. She opens the door and ushers us inside. “Will this room be suitable Lady?”

I look around the room. The small fire burning in the stone fireplace gives just enough heat making the room comfortably warm and not too stuffy. The bed is large made of sturdy oak. The white linens are of good quality and appear to be clean. The down comforter looks inviting being exhausted from traveling. I go to the window seat piled high will plush pillows and look out the large window to admire the view of the city and the harbor below. “It’s perfect, thank you. What was your name?”

“Senna, my Lady.” She replies with a bow.

“Senna, I will remember this place again it seems very comfortable. Could you please have my supper brought to my room and where will I find the bath?” I ask turning back to her.

“The bath is just through here. My daughter Savanna is warming the water now and she will bring your supper as well. Please let her know if you require anything else. Have a good night.” She nods to us and leaves with one last look of disapproval at Sasha. A dog in my clean house! She thinks bitterly as she closes the door softly behind her.

I look to Sasha in time to see her register the woman’s thoughts. “You heard her too?” I ask curious. I hadn’t known that Sasha could hear people’s thoughts other than Jayden’s and mine. She growls in response and plops down in front of the hearth feelings hurt.

“She doesn’t know you are different, Sasha.” She ignores me pretending to be asleep.

As Jenna pokes around the room I curl up in the window seat and stare out the window lost in thought. I draw my knees up and wrap my arms around them for comfort trying to sort out my tumultuous thoughts. Tomorrow we will leave Nordura. I have never been to the northern continent. I am glad we will be going to Sundurnik, the country bordering the east side of Reykjavik, first. Traveling through Reykjavik terrifies me. A shiver runs up my spine just at the thought. I hug myself tighter and continue the journey in my head. We will make our way to Kennig in Sundurnik and then over the border and strait to the capital city of Reykjavik to meet King Serovik.

Serovik. I dwell on our inevitable meeting, scared by his reputation. What do I say? What will he be like? Will he guess why we are there? Am I ready to make a connection and be tied to his feelings as horrible as they seem? There are so many questions and no good answers.

“It’s no use worrying about him now my Lady, we are still far from Reykjavik,” Jenna interrupts my brooding guessing what must be troubling me.

“I know, it’s just that I feel like I should somehow be prepared and I am anything but,” I reply. “And enough with the “My Lady” business, we will be traveling together so we may as well get comfortable. You can stop thinking of me as your mistress; I think I will need more of a friend on this trip. Just Jael, ok?”

“Ok… Jael,” She says hesitantly sitting next to me. She pauses thinking, then suddenly turns to me and asks, “Do you think it would be a good idea if you made a connection with me?”

The question is so unexpected I look at her trying to understand why she would want such a thing. I search her eyes trying to catch her thoughts. This comes so easily to me now having so much practice on our journey here. Her thoughts produce no clues to her inquiry. “Jenna why?” I ask her still confused by her request.

“Well it seems everyone else is connected to you and I am your maid… I mean friend, I should know when you are feeling anxious or sad. I am the only other woman here for you to talk to. I just thought it might be easier for you.” I can tell there is something she is not telling me. I probe her thoughts again. I miss his connection so much. I hope her touch is like his.

Understanding I release my knees and sit up taking her hands and looking deep in her eyes. She stares right back at me willing me to make the connection. The pull is suddenly strong, her having such a desire for the bond and feeling emotional about Jayden. I pull back slightly and say to her softly, “Jenna I am sorry that he broke his connection to you but it will not be the same with me. There may come a time when it is essential but I will not take your free will away unless it cannot be avoided, I’m sorry. Remember though that you can always project your thoughts to me and I will listen and respond. We can have the benefits of a connection but with a real friendship.”

Tears slide down her cheeks as she holds my gaze, “Can we really speak silently to each other? Will you show me?” There is so much hope in her eyes that I cannot refuse.

“Yes. Close your eyes and think about what you want to say.” She closes her eyes smiling at the prospect of communicating with me using her mind. I withdraw from her thoughts so she can project them to me without me already being in her head. “Now just like if you were going to say it to me out loud, say it in your mind but try to project the thought out of you. Try to concentrate on just saying it to me like it’s a secret you don’t want anyone else to know.”

“I miss home. I miss home. I miss home.” She projects to me over and over again.

“Ok Jenna you only have to think it once.” I say aloud laughing at her determination. “Good job, I miss home too.”

Her eyes snap open in shock. “I heard it!” she exclaims. “Oh Lady your whisper is so beautiful,” she gushes.

I look at her confused. “Beautiful?” I ask not sure what she means.

“Yes, it’s like a caress in my mind. Almost like Jayden’s.” She says happily.

“Well I am glad you like it.” I have never thought of how my thoughts feel in someone’s mind. I have always known Jayden’s thoughts were somehow pleasurable but I thought that was because we were so close and I took comfort in our bond. It was an interesting concept.

A light knock on our door makes Jenna jump. She gets up to open the door, quickly wiping the tears from her cheeks. “You must be Savannah,” She says sweetly to the young girl who comes in carrying a tray that smells divine.

“Yes Lady,” the girl says setting the tray on a table and curtsying clumsily. She stands in front of us staring at the floor shyly.

“She is a cute little thing isn’t she?” Jenna’s thought comes to me loudly.

“Quietly Jenna, you don’t have to yell at me. Yes she is pretty.” To the girl I say aloud, “Hello Savannah it’s nice to meet you. Thank you so much for bringing us our supper. Is the bath ready as well?”

“Yes Lady,” she responds still staring at the ground, now trembling slightly. I search her thoughts gently to see why she seems so scared. I hope they like me. Mother will be so mad if they don’t like me. I hope they like me. I can’t believe they have a wolf! I hope it doesn’t eat me. I wish I knew what to do now. How do I leave?

“You have done so well Savannah thank you, please tell your mother we said you did a wonderful job. We are going to eat and then take a bath so I don’t think we need anything else. You can go if you like.” I say to her sending her a feeling of calm happiness.

She stops trembling and looks up at me curiously. As soon as she sees my eyes she begins trembling again and bolts from the room without a word.

“I think my eyes scared her.” I say to Jenna ashamed I had frightened her so much.

“I was scared the first time I saw your eyes too. They are unsettling at first especially when they told me about your power, but I got used to it. You are a kind mistress.” She replies.

I think of Misty’s reaction to my eyes and wish there were more people like her, not so easily scared off by the unusual. I miss my friend and wish she were here instead of Jenna. I sigh, thinking to myself that I should make more of an effort to like Jenna despite some of her personality traits that irk me.

Sasha sensing my loneliness walks to me putting her head in my lap. I stare into her eyes reassured by her friendship. “They are scared of me too.” She whispers in my mind. I stare at her harder. Did she really just think to me like a human? “Dresden showed me how to think like you. I thought you would understand me better if I thought how you do in your words.”

I just stare at her shocked. “Oh Sasha!” I exclaim hugging her close overcome with joy that my closest friend is really here. I wonder how much human is really in her.

“What is it?” Jenna asks confused by my outburst.

“Nothing. Shall we eat,” I say to her lifting up the silver dome covering our dinner. The aroma of rosemary roasted chicken, creamy baked potato soup and fresh garlic bread swiftly dispels any further fears of our trip and makes my stomach gurgle noisily. Jenna laughs and takes a seat opposite me.

“Gods yes,” She replies smiling.

Chapter 12 - Jael

Staring at the ceiling above my head, sleep eludes me. My muscles are wound so tight my back is sore from the tension. Flopping onto my stomach, I bury my head under a pillow, close my eyes tight and hope sleep will come. As soon as my eyes close images swim in my head of Grandfather and Jon. The images I first conjured of them, their skin the cold, white color of death.

Giving up I turn back over and resume my intense scrutiny of the ceiling. The exposed wood beams running the length of the room are distorted by the images that continue to flash across my vision. They play over and over again in my mind finally bringing tears to my eyes. I wipe away the dampness and fail to stifle a helpless whimper. Inhaling deeply, I try to relax the tight ball my stomach as formed its self into. Taking slow even breaths and trying to stifle the small sobs that escape my throat, my heart continues to hammer away in my chest. I try desperately to think of the one thing that always takes my mind off of my worries.

Dresden.

Even as my mind is consumed with thoughts of him, the way he moves with catlike grace, his hawk like eyes that miss nothing, the way I sometimes catch him staring dreamily at me, even these treasured thoughts do not dispel the tormented feeling squeezing my heart.

“Jael, why are you crying?” Sasha asks silently, raising her head and staring at me in the darkness from the foot of my bed.
“Something is wrong.” I answer quietly. “I know it but I just can not place my anxiety in reality. Something is going to happen.” The feeling suddenly overwhelms me. My heart begins to race anew, breathing becomes difficult.

“Search your bonds; see if your troubled feelings come from one of them.” She suggests snuggling closer to me. She sends a calming sensation through our connection.

Taking her advice I sink to my core, trying to take comfort in my connections and seek out if my unease is based on emotions being channeled to me. I bury myself in the warmth of my ties. The energy from each one of them infuses me with the emotions of its carrier. Most of my bonds are dim with distance; however, I can still feel strongly those with me. Jayden is a constant comfort. I soak up his calm sleepy thoughts. Avery too comforts me with his steady breathing and carefree slumber. I try to slow my breathing to that of Jayden and match my heartbeat to Avery’s. Finally I am ready to try sleep again. Before coming back to myself I turn to Jon’s connection to assure myself of his safety. Reaching the distance I am surprised to find him awake. He feels my probing and sends me his love. I return his warmth and withdraw my touch.

Suddenly terror and pain jolt through me from one of my connections. Searching through my ties my heart sinks. “Grandfather!” I hurdle the thought through our connection. I can feel the piercing wound in his side as if a knife had been driven directly into me as well.

“Jael…”

“Grandfather! What happened? Who has hurt you?” I ask in horror.

“It’s too late child. Remember… Jon must be protected…make haste.” is the weak response.

I sit up and cry out to Jayden aloud and in his thoughts, “Jayden!” I jump out of bed grabbing my robe and throwing it around my shoulders in haste.

Sasha, startled, jumps off the bed. She looks to me confused, “Jael, what happened? Who was it?”

Before I can answer I hear stumbling outside of my door as Jayden practically falls into my room half dressed. He has one leg in his trousers and the other halfway in. He gives up and runs to my side. “What is it Jael?”

I can feel the life draining from the wound in his side. The pain in my body reflects his, I stand holding my side, trying desperately to control the throbbing pain in my side. I stare at Jayden helplessly trying to form my thoughts. Before I can put it into words, a pain rips through my chest. I can’t breathe. All I can feel is the pain. I feel the floor hit my side just as Jayden catches the rest of my fall.

“Jael, Jael!” Jayden is screaming at me and slapping my face. Sasha is barking uncontrollably, snarling at Jayden to do something.

I can not seem to reach the surface; I am drowning in the pain. I struggle to push the pain aside trying over and over to trace its origin. I search my connections and am finally able to reach the connection that is ripping through my heart. I follow it back to its source desperately trying to regain the connection at the other end.

“Jael, Jael!” Jayden is still screaming and hitting me, hysterical. His panicked screaming and Sasha’s howling breaks my concentration.

I surface just enough to tell them to stop. “Jayden,” I sob. “I can’t find him! Jayden he’s gone!” Panicking I abandon my efforts with Jayden and plunge to my core. I feel along the connection to my Grandfather again. It’s not broken just dark. Why is it dark? My connections are light. Looking through my core out to my connections they are like burning ropes, bright with our mutual life. Why is Grandfather dark? I reach out to his mind, “Papa! Papa please! Hear me! Papa!” Nothing. He can’t be gone. I scream at him, “Wake up! Papa!”

The connection is dead. He is dead. The realization is too much to regain my control over the pain. It washes over me in horrible never-ending waves. It’s almost a numbing feeling being carried away with the pain. There is an ache where papa’s connection was. The pain is so much. It takes on a life of its own; the pain is like a dagger twisting in my heart. All I can feel is the numbing pain, the ache that will never go away and the piercing of my heart. I can still feel the dead connection, a reminder of the once bright spot in my life. A special tie to someone wonderful, now a dead ache forever there to torment me.

I feel Jayden’s petting of my face. He is gentle now. I open my eyes and see him looking down at me. I can see in his eyes he finally understands, he must have felt his connection break. He puts his head to mine, our tears mingle together.

I feel the force of his mind seeking entry into my thoughts. I hesitate to let him in, afraid to share the pain. He looks into my eyes showing his broken heart. The pull of his emotions breaks my hold. I let him in and watch as his expression changes from heart broken to immense pain. He can’t take it. He releases me and stumbles a few feet, his arms wrapped around his torso trying to keep it all together. He collapses to his hands and knees.

His ragged breathe tears at my heart. Sasha’s gut wrenching howl brings tears to my eyes. I let them fall freely. I curl into a ball and close my eyes. The nightmare of my grandfather filters into my vision. The cold, white skin of death…

Chapter 13 - Dresden

The sight of her curled into a ball in obvious pain, tears at my heart. I hadn’t realized when Sasha came to me frantic, saying Jael was in trouble, that it would look like this. The staff, hearing the commotion, stand around the room staring in confusion. Jayden, a few feet away from Jael, gasps for air between sobs that rack his frame.

I move forward and tenderly pick up Jael; I’m surprised by how light she is. She stirs briefly opening her eyes and looking right through me. She seems to try to focus on me but her eyes are glazed over, she doesn’t see me. The torturous look in her stare takes my breath away, I nearly drop her. She moans in pain, slipping back into unconsciousness. Laying her in bed I call out, “Sasha come up here and lay by her. Tell me when she stirs.”

Turning to Jayden I reach out to him trying to help him to his feet. To see him in such pain brings tears to my eyes. He stumbles forward unable to hold himself up. I catch him in my arms steadying him as best I can. Turning his face to mine I search his eyes for answers. “He’s gone,” he gasps. “…it hurts…it hurts so much,” his face twists in agony. He buries his head in my chest crying.

“I know. Come Jayden, lay down.” I lay him on the cot the staff put next to Jael’s bed. His will crumbles and his tears turn to sobbing so hard, his whole body shakes with emotion. “Jayden, what happened?” I ask trying to figure out what catastrophe could have this effect on them. And then it hits me. I stare down at him in shock, “Oh Jayden no, was it Jon?”

Jayden looks up into my eyes, tears streaming freely down his cheeks, and finally shakes his head, “Grandfather.” His voice breaks and the hysterics start again. I turn to the woman standing next to me sending her for a sedative. She hurries from the room and returning a few minutes later with a steaming mug.

“Come lad, drink this. It will make you feel better,” she says softly. Jayden, his sobs receded slightly, takes a sip of the tonic. He grimaces and then drinks it down at her prodding. Lying down on the cot, he soon begins to breathe easier.

Finally, Jayden settled, I turn to Jael. Sasha sitting beside her turns her worried look to me. “What do we do?” She asks helplessly.

“I don’t know. Normally, I would say to call Jayden, but with both of them incapacitated…I just don’t know.” Staring down at her pale skin, thin frame, and the shadows beginning to form under her strange eyes, it hits me how fragile she really is. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. Perhaps she is not strong enough.

“Dresden, we have to do something.” Sasha whimpers softly. Sasha being much attuned to Jael, feels her pain. Perhaps not as intently as her brother but their connection is almost as close.

Taking a deep breath I put my doubts aside, she has to be strong enough. We are already on our way and have run out of time for changing plans. To Sasha I say seriously, “I do know we need to get moving. If I understood correctly, then the King has been killed. Jon will be next. We have to get to Reykjavik and soon.”

Mulling over our options one stands out clearly, “Sasha, you have to pull her out of this.”

Chapter 14 - Sasha

My first memory is of my mother; her whiskers tickling my face, the smell of her strong breath, and her warmth surrounding me. I was happy as a pup, frolicking through the woods without a care, my mother guiding me in the way of wolves. I always knew we were different. Wolves of the forest avoided us. I asked my mother once why this was. “We smell of Humans,” was what she told me. I didn’t know what “Humans” were but I trusted my mother to tell me in time, like I said I was happy as a pup, oblivious to the world outside of my mother and our territory in the forest. Sometimes I wish we would have stayed in the forest.

Looking down at Jael I feel a twinge of regret for my thoughts. I wouldn’t change my life for anything. This course brought me to Jael and to Dresden. Jael taught me everything about “Humans.” I knew they were a part of me the moment Jael locked eyes with me. She taught me to use my mind voice. She filled the hole left in my heart when my mother died. She molded me into who I am. She gave me purpose and a happiness I would have never known if me and mother would have stayed in the forest. She showed me the world and loved me on a level no one else has ever touched.

Not until Dresden. Dresden was like me. He was Beast and Human. He was the first to recognize the Human in me on the same level as the Beast. Dresden taught me to let go of the Beast in my mind and let the Human thoughts take over. He is like me.

Gazing at his worried face I am reminded of the task at hand. Looking back to Jael I probe gently into her consciousness. Her mind is foggy. There are no real thoughts there, just the mumbling of dreams. “Jael,” I call to her gently. There is no focusing of her mind. “Jael!” I call louder. She stirs slightly but her mind still doesn’t focus into thoughts.

“Dresden she’s not responding. I don’t know what to do but keep calling her,” I say silently.

His brow creases in worry. “Try feeling along your connection. Get into her mind, find her. She is trapped in her mind, in the pain. Bring her out. You need to show her the way. I think she is confused,” He says. I find it strange how he knows so much about her mind. I will never understand Humans completely, they think so much differently than Beasts.

Concentrating on Dresden’s words, I try to reach Jeal through our connection. It’s difficult for me to find this connection to her mind. I do not see our connection as a physical thing. Dresden tried to explain it to me once. He said it was like a rope connecting our minds like a rope that connects a horse to a rail. Dresden understands how I think, he knows how to explain things to me. I search my mind for the “rope” to Jael. There it is. It really is like a rope. I reach out tentatively, touching our connection with my mind; I feel a rush of pain go through my body. Yelping in surprise, I jump off the bed, breaking my hold on her.

“What happened Sasha?” Dresden asks in concern.

“She is in pain…great pain,” I reply still shaken. “I will try again.”

This time I reach to our connection and delve into it. I ignore the pain and search for her thoughts. I reach out to her consciousness, “Jael come back to us. We need you.” She hears me this time.

“Sasha,” she mumbles confused.

“Jael focus on me,” I tell her. She drifts with me, surfacing reluctantly.

Jael, opening her eyes and focusing on me says quietly, “Sasha…thank you.” She looks around briefly. She avoids looking at Dresden instead focusing on her brother sleeping silently beside her bed. The last few hours seem to trickle back into her mind slowly. The tears flow freely down her cheeks. She turns her tortured eyes on me. Her gaze flicks to Dresden. She locks eyes with him for the first time since leaving home. “We need to go. Saving Jon is all that matters to me now. It’s what…” Her voice catches slightly, “…Grandfather would have wanted.”

Chapter 15- Jael

Once they finally left me I let my mask slip. Curling into a ball in the middle of my bed I let the tears run freely. Keeping them in check was beginning to wear on my control. Watching the shadows on the wall from the flames flickering in the hearth seemed to mirror the churning feeling in my stomach. The dead connection at my core was a constant reminder of what I had lost and the reason for the flow of tears. The anxiety that made eating impossible, stemmed from the dread of another dead connection. The possibility that at any moment my brother could be another lifeless tie, the potential of it was too much to think about.

Turning to bury my face deep in the covers and hugging myself more tightly, I finally reach into myself and register my connections. Avoiding the dark cord as much as possible I reach out and lightly touch all of my connections at once. The general feeling is one of concern. No doubt all of those I am bonded to felt me lose control. They are all a bit sensitive to my moods even when I am in full control. To feel the raw emotion that must have touched them all would have been at the least surprising.

Jon, sensing me, stops mid conversation with Uncle Draken and withdraws into himself. “Jael, are you ok?” He whispers. I can tell he is worried about me being able to continue my journey.

“Does it matter?,” I reply bitter. Does everyone think I am a child who cannot recover from this tragedy any more then they can? “I told him I would protect you, I promised. I am not as weak as you think. I am not scared of my connections anymore. They are only a tool. I will not let myself become attached any longer. My connections will no longer be my weakness,” I add, withdrawing from him. I can’t bear any more of his pity.

Angry with myself for letting the tears return, I dash them from my cheeks. Tears fix nothing. Grandfather is gone and crying about it solves nothing. The sick feeling from my stomach works its way into my chest, squeezing at my heart.

Taking a deep breath, I push the feeling down and try to ignore it. I won’t let this pain take me over. All that matters now is that I keep going. I will not let my feelings be the reason I do not succeed. It is better to feel nothing then the pain.

The emotions from my connections make me weak. Finally understanding what I must do, I close my eyes and close myself off from my connections. I block them all until only my thoughts and emotions are inside of me. Even my emotions I push down until all I feel is my resolve to keep going. I feel icy inside, numb. Numb is bliss.

Chapter 16- Dresden

The change in her is obvious. Walking into the common room, back strait, eyes dead of emotion, she stands before me and looks directly into my eyes. She grips my gaze and will not release me. This is it. This is where she makes the connection. “Jael don’t do this,” I try projecting to her. I cannot reach her, it’s like my thought hit a brick wall.

“It’s time to go. Is the ship ready?” She asks in a dead voice. She seems unconcerned with holding my gaze so intently. Her newfound control is hard to believe.

“Uh…yes. The ship is ready when we are. Are you ok Jael?” I ask hesitant.

Her eyes narrow dangerously. “I am fine, Prince. We leave in an hour, notify the captain,” she snaps. She turns to go just as Jayden enters. He stops and stares at her in surprise. She doesn’t even register his presence. She just keeps walking and soon disappears up the stairs to her room.

Jayden turns to me still stunned. His face is puzzled for a few seconds and then his expression changes to one of disbelief. He sits down heavily in a nearby chair. “What is it Jayden? What is wrong with her?” I ask confused by this stranger who looks like Jael.

“She is blocking me,” he says absently. His brow furrows, then a tear slides down his cheek. The look of hurt reminds me of the night his grandfather died just three days ago. He looks to me, his bottom lip trembling slightly, “She has never shut me out before. I cannot even get a sense of where she is or what she is feeling.”

Apparently being shut off from a connection was painful. Not the same as the connection being broken but still unpleasant. I don’t understand why she would shut herself off from those who love her and who would be nothing but a source of comfort. This behavior is so unlike her. She seems so attuned to people’s feelings. I always thought that was a weakness of hers but her without it is…ugly. It is an interesting way to cope, I guess.

“Jayden she just needs time. This is her coping with the situation. We need to give her a chance to settle into it. It’s not just you. She is different with me too. All we can do is support her until she lets us in again,” I say sympathetically squeezing his shoulder.

Putting his face in his hands he says, “You’re right. You must think I am terribly fragile.”

“I do not understand fully what it must feel like to have one of your connections broken but I know it must be more pain then I have ever felt. This is something not everyone recovers from. You need to give yourself time to acclimate. I do not judge you Jayden. I am sure in your place I would be just as ‘fragile’”, I reply honestly. “Well like your sister said, it’s time to go. Lets round everyone up and get moving.”

Research

2010-03-29T15:33:00.000-07:00

Things to Research:

Ships
Horseback riding and gear
Forests
Archery/Bows
Fight scenes
Distances/Travel times
Clothes (fantasy/medieval)

Its a start...

Ships

2010-03-29T15:29:00.000-07:00

What do I know about ships??? Not much. There is typically ship voyages in all the books I have read. I need to think about the different books that reference it and take a good look at them. I might need to go to the book store and do some serious reading too.

Books with Ships

All David Eddings books
All Tamora Pierce books
Graceling

The research begins...

Plot/Character Development

2010-03-29T14:47:00.000-07:00

I have been working on how to move my plot along. I liked developing the back ground story on some of the different kingdoms. That helped with some of my characters but now I seem to be bogged down on moving the story along.

Solution: Outline!

I always thought outlines were for school projects but they are amazing! I didn't realize how easy it is to stimulate my creativity by doing this. Things just came to me out of no where. Here is an example of one I am working on now.

WARNING-Spoiler alert!

Connections Outline- Sea Voyage

Jael continues her journey to Sundurnik by sea.
· New Characters
o Sea captain
o Crew

· Jael
o She must heal and adjust to the dead connection of her Grandfather
o Her determination changes
o She understands connections in a different way
o She becomes harder, less naive. Less caring of making connections
o Makes a frivolous connection with the crew of the ship because she doesn’t care
§ Dresden is mad at her for not taking her power seriously anymore. They have their first fight.
§ Jael when angry seems to be able to look at Dresden strait in the eyes. When she is mad, she blocks a connection so she can continue her anger. She is surprised at this and happy she has found a new way to block him.
§ After the fight Jael feels remorse for the connection to the crew member and feels an obligation to add him to their party since it causes him pain to leave her. She renews her stand against creating unnecessary connections.
o Jael wants to learn to fight. The helplessness she felt with her grandfather makes her wish he knew how to defend himself.
§ This is a conversation with her and Elan. He offers to teach her how to defend herself. She is empowered by her new skills. She finds out she is very good at archery. She has a sense of where people are around her, especially when those around her are her connected. She can reach out to her connections and get the sense of where they are and where people are in relation to them. This gives her an advantage in her aim.
· Jayden
· Dresden
· Elan
· Sasha
o Powers
§ Project pictures into peoples minds?
§

This outline sparked the following character development:

WARNING-Spoiler alert!

New Character Development – Ship Crew

Captain
· Name/Origin- Dreygandon of Sundurnik
· Appearance- Huge, very strong not fat but muscular, strait black hair, extremely pale skin, vivid blue eyes, white fur clothing
· Personality- Quiet, dignified, demands respect by countenance, lets his second in command be loud and run the show, very much in control, intense to most. (similar to Saetan in the Dark Jewels Trilogy)
· Events- Takes to Jael immediately. Sees through the temporary hard exterior and sees the old Jael. Acts to fill the grandfather role that she is missing. He is who she goes to after the incident with his crew member. She breaks down to him. He helps her to move past losing her grandfather. Vows to be there for her. Wants her to connect to him so they can communicate and know when she is in trouble. She does reluctantly. She does see the benefit of having him connected to her. He not only fills the hole left by her grandfather but offers further assistance when she needs it in his homeland. He knows the king of Sundurnik and is able to assist her when she needs the king’s help.

Crew member Jael connects with
· Name/Origin- Raidon
· Appearance-
· Personality-
· Events-

Cook
· Name/Origin-
· Appearance-
· Personality-
· Events-

2nd in command
· Name/Origin-
· Appearance-
· Personality-
· Events-

Still a work in progress but its helping tremendously in moving the story along. I felt so lost after King David died. I didn't know how to pull Jael out of it and how she would respond to having to continue her journey. This was her first real test of character. She had to respond to the broken connection in a way that pushed her along in her development.

One thing I am worried about is identifying with my characters too much. Jael isn't me but I internalize her reactions so much. I am always putting myself in her shoes. How would I respond. How would the pain affect me? What would it feel like inside? I have to think of things in my past that have felt even remotely close to what she would be feeling. It is a good way to make it feel real but not every character can react like me or I will end up with a bunch of Jaels. Grrr.

I think it will be a big part of my revision. Trying to give personality traits exclusively to each character. Setting their speech apart somehow. They need their own way of saying everything! Who has a temper and who is truly kind hearted? Who is caught up in their royalty and who wishes they were just common? What does being Crulian mean to each one of them (sorry that is a spoiler). I hope when I am finished I do not just have four variations of myself in my main characters, Jael, Jayden, Dresden, and Sasha. (again a spoiler, I know)

*sigh* back to work :)

New names

2010-03-29T13:44:00.000-07:00

Soooo its been so long since I wrote a post!

I read my last post and realized how much has really changed with my story. First of all I decided on a title. I have thought a lot of my story and think it will end up being a series. Not sure how many books it will be but I am thinking it will end up being three. Each story will center around one character for the most part. Obviously this one centers on Jael. I first thou gt to name this book after her but decided this is not really so much the story of Jael but her connections and how they influence her life. The series will focus on the Crulian. So the series is The Crulian Series and book one is Connections.

Recently I read through my entire book (what I have so far which happens to be 84 pages) and pondered over my choice in names. I adore Jael and I think Jayden fits well since they are twins their names naturally are similar. I tried to write down all of the names and think if they felt right. They failed. I renamed about half of them to feel more... fantasy like. Here are the names and the changes.

Jael (Princess of Nordura)
Jayden (Jael's twin brother)
Dresden (Once Gabriel)
Jenna (Jael's maid)
Jonathan (Jael's brother)
Sebastian (Jael's father)
Ella (Jael's mother)
Sasha (half Crulian wolf)
Draken (King of Auster)
Isabella (Queen of Auster)
Misty (Jael's friend, daughter of Lord Treguard)
Samson (Jael's horse)
Tristan (Jael's guard)
Smith (King David's steward)
Serovik (King of Reykjavik)
David (King of Nordura)
Shalador (King of Claudbaer)
Alexander (Prince of Claudbaer)
Avery (formally Phillip, Jael's guard)
Elan (formally Jared, Pribaer guardian)
Kavan (formally Jimmy)
Carter (Jaydens guard)
Mason (Jaydens guard)
Joshua (stable boy)
Senna (inn owner)
Savana (daughter of inn owner)
Dreygandon (ship captain)
Raidon (ship crew member/connected to Jael)

Only a few name changes but some new characters too!

Map and back story on some Kingdoms

2009-12-21T11:31:00.001-08:00

I wanted to post my most up-to-date map. I have changed it alot.

I need to come up with a name for my world. Ideas anyone? I wanted to do some background stories on some of the kingdoms as well. I thought it was very cool to develop some of the culture of Pribaer.

I guess I will stick with that continent for now.

Trebaer-

I don't know if I will have any characters from this area but I will develop their culture a little bit and explain the ties they have to other kingdoms.

Trebaer is mostly farmland. The Trebaer people are docile and almost completely out of the "world" scene. They are farmers to the core. Even the Trebaer court is not much as regards nobles. They all own farms and are mostly tending to their crops and do not have time to entertain the king. The king of Trebaer is not really much concerned with the outside world and is content to let his nobles play in their dirt. He has a very large family that keeps him very busy.

There are 6 princesses of Trebaer. All very chubby and unattractive. Only a few have attracted any interest outside of Trebaer. There are three Princes of Trebaer, only one ambitious. Crown Prince Druant is always trying to push his father to make treaties with kingdoms his father would rather not be connected to. Druant is tired of being part of a nobody country. He wants to beef up the non existent army and make ties with kingdoms. He is just waiting for the day that he takes the crown.

His country is in a very good location for kingdoms wanting to attack Pribaer. He knows this ambition will compromise relations with Nordura and now Auster as well as Claudbaer but what other options does he have to get his kingdom to a place in the world that matters? His solution has always been to marry a Princess of Auster or Nordura or Claudbaer to use that tie against them but Princess Jael refused him, and she is the only princess of the three kingdoms protecting Pribaer. He holds a grudge against Jayden because it was him that made the refusal for Jael. He thinks Jael would have courted him (since he thinks he is so irresistible) but he could never get past Jayden. He is just biding his time until the kingdom is his and the opportunity presents itself to either get Jael one way or another or make a tie with a powerful kingdom that will further his interests.

Three of the six princesses of Trebaer are married. Princess Poppi is married to the third son of the royal family of Kopavik. Princess Toli and Princess Trini are twins married to the youngest sons, also twins, of Gredstone. The other three princesses are unmarried and still live with their father, making his life miserable.

Character Development- Jared

2009-12-15T11:42:00.000-08:00

So I was thinking I want to develop each of my characters more fully on the side so that when I start writing them into the story that I have more of a feel for each one of them.

I think the character that is going to change and need the most back story that will be coming up more frequently in the next few chapters is Jared. He will be showing his skills in the coming fight that makes them beef up their security and work together for future possible attacks. Most of Jared's back story wont come out until after the fight but i need it clear in my head for writing the fight scene (which I am not looking forward to. I will rely heavily on some of my favorite books with lots of fight scenes).

Jared:

Jared's homeland is the mountains of Pribaer. This is harsh mountain land known for its fearsome beasts. Pribaer is mostly mountains with a secluded piece of land where most of the people live. All Pribaerians are taught to defend the mountains against any outsider and defend the towns of any of the beasts of the mountains. They are fiercely protective of their homeland and rarely travel beyond the mountains into the rest of the world.

The area that is populated with cities is cut off from the world on the south side not by mountains but by sheer cliffs to the ocean. There are no ports in Pribaer, the only way in or out is through its four passes.

The male Pribaerians are taught from a young age to fight the mountain beasts. They are also bred to hate outsiders. There is a trade post on the second pass coming out of the Pribaer for trading and this is the most contact outsiders have with the people of Pribaer.

The goods they trade are the warm beautiful pelts of the beasts in their mountains only they seem to know how to kill. They are very expensive since not only is the fur beautiful and soft but it changes color with the weather, therefore you almost always blend in with your surroundings. Pribaer skins are also tough as steel armor. The skins have to be molded to a wearer with a special technique so they fit like the persons own skin. Once they have been altered they will fit no one else. Most have to travel to the trade center to get their skins molded since there are very few merchants from Pribaer that will travel to a customer. You also have to prove yourself to the Pribaer to wear their skins. Only warriors of great skill are granted these rare pelts.

Jared is covered from head to toe in Pribaer fire skins as they are called. In the fall they change to the color of fall leaves. Fire reds and golden yellows. In the spring they tend to be a soft green. The winter they range from gray to white depending on the temperature. In the summer they could be any color depending on where you were.

Jared left his country to serve Nordura as a gift from the king of Pribaer to Nordura for their continued alliance. Nordura has long since supported the Pribaer peoples desire to stay hidden behind their mountains and has many times gone up against other nations to protect its borders when hungry Kings wished to clean out the Pribaer mountains of their monsters and fortify their armies with fire skins. For two hundred years there has been a Pribaer gift of one warrior to always protect the Norduran King. Jared was that present warrior.

Jael and Jayden had argued at length to have Jared stay behind to protect Jon or their grandfather but they were overruled by all three heads of state, King David, Prince Sebastian, and Crown Price Jonathan. All three wanted Jared to be with Jael to protect her at every cost. She was the only one who could protect them in the long term.

So Jared travels with the party as a body guard. None of them have ever seen him fight. He has always done his training in private. The Pribaer people have always been secretive of their fighting styles not wanting anyone to figure out how they kill the beasts of their mountains.

Jared must now do his drills out in the open since he does not have much privacy on the road. He always goes off into the woods if he can to practice without onlookers. He knows he cannot keep his style a secret for long. He was given instruction from his leader before coming to Nordura to obey the King in all tasks even if that meant revealing his training. He was prepared to protect Jael at all costs. He was told by the King before their journey that she was to be protected above all others.

Jared's personal family history is simple. There is chosen from all children 100 at the age of 5 to train as the Nordurian replacement warrior. Only one is chosen at age 18 to replace the previous warrior. The others are made protectors of important posts within the kingdom. Jared had no contact with his parents after being chosen at age 5. He has only known a warriors life of training. He is only 20 and has been in Nordura for only two years. In that time he has learned to respect the King and Prince Sebastian. He mostly has been guardian to Crown Prince Jonathan in his travels around Nordura and Auster. He came to love Jon as a brother, respecting his passion for his countries.

He was not happy to be given to babysit his little sister. Yes she was beautiful but he was not interested in guarding women. That is until he found out about the plot to kill Jon and the King. Once he understood Jael's abilities he respected her and vowed to guard her on her journey since it ultimately meant the protection of Jon. During the journey he begins to see the similarities between Jael and Jon and starts to feel a similar loyalty to her.

I added alot of this to his original description but the private training parts and the history of him personally will come out later in conversation on the journey.

The Journey

2009-12-15T09:35:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking alot lately of what Jael's journey will look like from Nordura to Reykjavik. So far they have reached Burrow Harbor, the port city in Nordura where they will book passage to Keystone in Sundurnik. From Keystone they will travel north to Kennig and from there travel west into Reykjavik bound for the capitol city (which I do not have a name for yet)

Along that journey a few things need to happen. I am still working out alot of the details but I am thinking they get attacked early on in their travels. They are not prepared for an attack because they do not think King Serovik knows of the purpose of them coming.

There is a character that will be introduced who at this time is still nameless but is a Crulian known to Dresden who is close to the King and learns of Dresdens party coming to Reykjavik. I don't think he will know why they came but he will know that Dresden knows of their plot to kill David and Jon so he will tell King Serovik and he will try to capture them. Maybe he thinks they are going to the King of Sundurnik for help? If they ally then a war would surely crush Reykjavik with Sundurnik, Nordura, Auster and most likely Claudbaer against King Serovik. So they will attack the party and most will survive but they will have to work on how best to protect themselves.

This is the part that I am most interested in. How they use all of their various skills; Dresden's hawk form, Sasha's scouting abilities and being able to communicate with Jael, Jayden, and Dresden, Jayden's ability to connect quickly with people and change their thoughts, Jared's fighting ability (this will need some work because he is going to turn out to be a crazy good fighter and needs a background to explain it), then finally Jael's ability to make a strong connection and control any person if she chooses to. Also her ability to read thoughts is stronger than Jaydens since she doesn't need to make a connection first. She can read thoughts from further distances since she does not need to make eye contact first as Jayden does.

All of these things will make a good team but it will take some working out. Also Jael will need to hone her skills and have lots of practice on various people to develop her skills to their max, which she will do. This will help her prepare for her task of meeting King Serovik and ultimately defeating him and his Crulian underling.

That is where I see the rest of the story going. There will be a few surprises thrown in there like Sasha being full Crulian and finding her humanity and shifting into her true form. Her love for Dresden and the tension that causes with the budding relationship between him and Jael. Jael's love for Sasha will be tested as well as how far she is willing to let Dresden in.

Will she have enough strength to love him without making a connection?

Can Sasha watch them be together and hold onto her humanity?

Will they get to Reykjavik in time to prevent the assassination of David and more importantly Jon?

When Jael finds out she is full Crulian will she be able to return to humanity after finally changing into her Crulian beast form?

Jayden, will he be able to let go of Jael and allow her a relationship with Dresden?

When he finds out he is also full Crulian will he try to pursue his beast form or will he hang onto his humanity and hope for the best?

What is Sasha's family ties to Jael and Jayden?

Is she a Princess too?

Who dies?

What hearts are broken?

What is next for Jael once she has honed her abilities and being a sit at home Princess are not enough after her long journey that changed her life?

Oohh im excited to find out the answers!! Let me know what your thoughts are :O) Not that anyone is reading this LOL.

Progress with Jael's Story

2009-12-15T08:30:00.000-08:00

So I had a three day weekend and I thought Awsome! I will have so much time to write! No not really. I wrote for maybe a few hours on Monday. I was just so busy. Jeremy just got a gym membership so we have been hitting the gym everyday. That makes me tired so I am sooo not modivated to do ANYTHING lately. (I still havnt unpacked from my trip eesh)

I did get a chance to write a little more developing Jenna's character and her and Jael's relationship. Its exciting to get into a character and develop their personality. Jenna is turning out to be a little snobish and a bit shallow. She is trying to like Jael but finding it difficult. With the breaking of Jayden's connection to her she craves Jael's mind touch since it is so simular to Jayden's. This brings her closer to Jael but not for reasons that would develop into a real friendship, this will have to come from events that will throw them togather and they will have to rely on each other...we will see how that goes. Jenna will need to toughen up in the coming weeks of their journey and Jael will need to learn she may need every person's support even if its someone she doesnt really like.

My story

2009-12-08T09:05:00.001-08:00

So my cruise went really awesome! I will have to post pictures as soon as I get them on my computer. The best part of the trip was all the time I had to write. I actually started writing Jael's story. I wrote 5 chapters so far. I'm going to post it here but I'm sure I will be editing it continually so it will be old as soon as I post it!

Let me just say first that 1) my punctuation is HORRIBLE and I know it 2) I am still struggling with how to describe surroundings. I am doing more research and 3) I just created Sasha and had to add her in to previous scenes so the parts with her in it may still have rough edges.

Here it is: Rough title Jael's Story (I'm still not sure what it will end up being maybe something to do with Crulian or Connections...)

Chapter 1

I lay in bed still sleepy but woken slightly by the sunlight starting to drift through the draped window beside my bed. The sound of the light knock on my door barely registers in my half asleep dreaming.

"Your Highness? … My Lady, your brother wishes you to join him in his room," A small voice says from behind the door.

Stupid shallow girl. Why does she let him in her head when she knows it aggravates me? I’ve showed her so many times how to block his thoughts from entering her mind. She can’t stop him from trying but she can block him if she chooses to. Of course she doesn’t. Jayden is difficult to refuse. His mind wrapped around yours is an exhilarating feeling. I don't think she really wants him out of her head, most don’t.

"Come in," I mumble from beneath my covers. As she enters my room I peak to see the expression on her face. Empty as usual. "Running his errands again I see," I say accusingly as she flops onto my bed. She doesn’t even have the decency to look embarrassed.

"You know I cannot refuse him my Lady." She says with a toss of her coppery curls. Jenna, my maid, brown eyes blankly staring at me smiles as if she has accomplished something important.

"You don’t even try Jenna, it’s disgusting", I snap as I shove the covers from over my head and sit up glaring at her.

She looks around the room trying to avoid meeting my eyes, “It’s not like he makes me do things I wouldn’t do if he asked. I don’t think he even notices he puts the thoughts in my head instead of saying them aloud and his compulsions are not unkind. It’s just natural for him. Is that so bad?" She asks innocently.

"Yes", I reply patiently. "Jenna he has no right to control you that way. Let him ask so you can give an honest reply to his wishes. You don’t have to do everything he says. Do you need me to show you again how to resist his thoughts?"

"No. I remember what you showed me, Lady.” She tries to placate me, “I am a servant in your household, I could not refuse him even if he gave me the choice...and I like the connection he has made with me." She smiles at her last remark. "He likes me," She says with so much infatuation that I cannot tell if it’s the connection making her say it or if she truly feels affection for him.

I sigh, take her hands in mine and look into her eyes. She doesn’t meet mine but I can see she is struggling not to. I have control; she could meet my eyes if she wanted to. She doesn’t. She looks down at our hands instead, "Ok I give up Jenna, but when he puts you aside for someone else to be his pet, don’t come to me with your broken heart." She shrugs and pulls her hands from mine. I notice the panic in her eyes as she considers Jayden putting her aside for another. As she hurries to my wardrobe and busies herself with picking out my clothes for the day, I shrug into my robe and wonder over to my vanity.

Sitting to brush out my hair I consider my reflection. My long brown hair flows through my brush like silk, the soft curls frame my pale face. I consider my eyes. The eyes that cause so much heartache, so similar to my twins. Icy-blue, lighter and more striking than Jayden’s darker blue eyes. The pupils a sky blue instead of black. Who could resist such unusual eyes? I wish for the hundredth time I could change them for another’s. It’s no use thinking like this, I tell myself, I have to accept this as my fate. Jayden has obviously accepted his.

Jayden, my twin, my other half. He uses his power so freely. He embraces his ability while I try to push mine away. Of course, my power is much deeper and dangerous than his. His connections are so temporary and harmless and can be blocked or even severed. Mine last a lifetime. Once I have connected to you, you are mine. Mine to control; mine to read like an open book. Your thoughts, intentions, desires I can see them all.

I can control it now, the draw to look deep within someone’s eyes, see their depths and take control. Make the connection that will tie them to me forever. I control my power now, I tell myself again trying to make myself believe it. Its hungry for some but I have it tightly leashed. There are some connections that I wish I could take back but they are unbreakable, even by me. Distance is the only thing that weakens my bonds but it never really goes away. I feel the ties to everyone I have touched, like strings connecting me to them over any distance.

My most regretted and cherished connections are to my family. My grandfather, King David of Nordura for one is mine to control if I wished. My brother Jonathan is connected to me since I was born and intensely protective. Jayden is just Jayden, his connection to me is absolute on every level.

The exception is my father. Prince Sebastian, son of King David, loves me and I love him but it was too difficult for him to look at me as a child so I have never made the connection. By the time my father and I were comfortable enough to have a relationship I had restrained my power. I do not blame my father for his distance. He was so distraught over the death of my mother giving birth to us that he never saw me or Jayden for more than an instant. Every time we were brought to him it would cause so much pain at the memory of our mother that he would send us back to the nursery, inconsolable. Our caretakers made every effort to keep us from our father after the initial few times. My father needed to heal away from the reminders of the cause of his wife’s death.

The breaking of a connection can devastate a person to the point of insanity. I can see the hurt in my father’s eyes caused by the havoc to his heart after the breaking of my mother’s connection to him. Her death broke him in every way possible.

I inherited my power from my mother, Ella. She kept her ability secret and had such control that she only made a few connections in her lifetime. Her most important connection was with my father. I always wondered why she wasn’t connected to more people since it is impossible to control this power as a child. Me and Jayden never could.

Thinking back to the connections I have made in my lifetime there are different degrees. Some would barely feel the breaking of the connection I have to them. I made shallow connections with everyone who looked into my eyes as a child. My power was strong but my depth was not, therefore, those connections will always be there although they are shallow. People close to me have connections that run as deep as their emotional depth allows. Growing up with me and not knowing what was happening these connections are absolute. Now that I have a depth that will support a deep connection I am careful who I bond with. It would take something very serious for me to make a connection now. I don’t like to take away someone’s natural affections or lack thereof. I do not want love that is not warranted. It’s an empty love, baseless. The connection creates a false sense of caring and adoration. It’s unsettling and sometimes terrifying to feel the emotions of those I am connected to. The thoughts that come to me are generally unpleasant and unwanted.

When I was younger I would look with the full force of my power and make the connection automatically without knowing it. It wasn’t until I could sense their feelings and hear their thoughts that I realized what had happened. I could see in their eyes the change from confusion to compulsion. People who didn’t even know me, their thoughts would become consumed with me. Then I knew they would be mine for life, whether I wanted them or not. I couldn’t help it, not for a long time. I just avoided people as much as possible, never making eye contact. Jayden helped me to understand my limits. His power is so much less potent than mine.

With my new found control I can glance at a persons eyes and see their depths with just a curiosity not with my full power. I do not go deep enough to hear thoughts. I am not strong enough to pull back at that depth and not to make a full connection. I can look without possessing but it’s easier to avoid making eye contact with those I am not connected with.

Still staring at my reflection I allow my thoughts to drift. It has been 19 years since my mother’s death and my father seems to be recovered enough to look at me without seeing her death. We have a good relationship now though connectionless. It was this fragile relationship that honed my control over my power. I would never hurt my father like my mother did. I know she didn’t know the affect her death would have on those she had connected to but I am faced with this reality every time I see the haunted look in my father’s eyes. If we connected and something happened to me I don’t think my father would recover from another blow of that caliber.

I close my eyes and reach out to all my connections. Like threads drifting out from my heart, these bonds are my ties to happiness. I feel along the stronger threads to those I care about the most. The strongest is Jayden, almost like a rope tying me to my twin. The next is to Sasha my Crulian wolf, a different kind of connection but strong nonetheless. My grandfather, my brother Jon, these connections worry me the most. The bond I have with these two could cause such despair. If I died or fell into the wrong hands the entire royal family, aside from my father, would break. It would take a decade to recover from such a wound.

The familiar panic that comes when I think of what harm my connections would cause makes my eyes burn and my throat tighten uncomfortably. It is not just Nordura who would suffer, Auster would as well.

My mother was Princess of Auster before she made the connection and married my father. I am dual royalty. Being such close nations there has always been rivalry between Nordura and Auster. They were on the brink of war not 25 years ago. That is until my mother made peace with one look at my father. Our kingdoms will become one in my lifetime. My Uncle King Draken of Auster has no successor. My Aunt, Queen Isabella is barren. The heir to the Austerian throne is my eldest brother Jonathan. Jonathan, heir also to the Norduran throne, will be the sole ruler of our kingdoms. He will unite our lands when King Draken and my grandfather die or are unfit to rule. It was decided that my father would not inherit. It’s best to unite our lands under one ruler. My father is happy the crown passes directly to Jonathan. Jon is a natural leader. Everyone knows Jon alone can unite our kingdoms. He is a political genius. The way he brings together the people of our nations despite decades of contention is a skill that can not be taught.

“My Lady, I think this one is perfect,” Jenna says intruding on my thoughts. I take one last glance at my reflection and face Jenna. She is holding up a silver gown I am fond of, admiring the lace on the bodice.

“Thank you, that will be all,” She looks up at me stung by my dismissal. She nods respectfully. “Yes Lady,” she says in a small voice on the verge of tears. She knows I’m disappointed with her for being so gullible with Jayden. I don’t mean to hurt her but to look into the shallow depths of her eyes gives me a headache. Jenna turns to leave as I call out from my dressing room, “Tell Jayden to meet me in the stables in an hour.”

“Yes my Lady,” she replies, sullen.

~

“Jayden you make me sick,” I snap as he enters the stables. He is dressed for riding, his dark hair still wet from bathing. “I told you to leave that girl alone.” He ignores me and walks to greet his mare, Shadow.

He glares at me over his horse’s back with a look that dares me to argue with him. His dark blue eyes are striking even to me, I catch my breath slightly. “I thought she wasn’t yours Jael. Free game,” He smiles at me wickedly. He knows I hate it when he treats people’s minds as property. He drops his voice and whispers, “Just because you hate our power does not mean I do.”

I forget sometimes that not everyone knows our secret. I lower my voice as well. “Whatever Jayden, just leave my maid alone,” I retort, angry more at his acceptance of his power then his actions with Jenna.

His face transforms into his “I'm sorry” expression that he knows I cannot resist, “Don’t be angry with me J.” He sticks out his bottom lip in mock sadness, then laughs unable to hold his ridiculous look. “Come little sister, you know if I break the connection now it will just hurt her more. I’ll distance myself, I promise.” His expression becomes excited, “Are we going to sit here and be mad at each other or are we going riding?”

I laugh at his enthusiasm. It’s impossible to stay mad at Jayden. “Fine, but we are going to talk about this. There has to be rules Jayden,” I say seriously. He rolls his eyes at me and starts saddling his horse. I finish preparing my stallion, Jackson, and join him in the stable yard.

“Where to today J?” I ask. I can’t quite keep the enthusiasm out of my voice, I love to ride. Jackson feels my excitement and paws the ground impatiently. I pet his soft pink nose feeding him sugar lumps until he’s soothed into calmness.

“I was thinking we could go see Misty. It’s been awhile since we visited.” He replies hopefully.

I look at him closely trying to determine why seeing Misty would cause that tone. Misty was a recent friend I had made. She was the daughter of the Lord of Tregaurd. Tregaurd was just a half day’s ride from the city and near our lake house. I treasured Misty’s friendship because we were not connected and it allowed me to test my control by being around her. I was enjoying creating a friendship with her based on authenticity and not a connection.

Its times like this that I wish Jayden were ugly. Couldn’t he be my deformed twin or something? I laugh at the thought. Its too hard to picture. Jayden’s beauty and charm seemed to steal every girl around me. It was aggravating. “Jayden if you connect to her I'm going to beat you!” He laughs at my threat.

“I have not connected with her and I won’t if you insist.” He says sincerely trying to appease me.

“I do insist. Just once can we make a friend honestly?” I ask.

“Lead the way. I give it another two visits before you slip,” he retorts with a smirk.

He’s probably right I think briefly chewing my bottom lip, worried. I won’t let him see the doubt I suddenly feel so I mount Jackson swiftly and take off before he has a chance to set himself. We race through the meadow and into the forest that backs the palace with our guard following discreetly. They know to give me and Jayden our space.

These are familiar woods to us and we navigate the trails easily. Jayden soon catches up to me being the better rider. I push Jackson ahead slightly and lead the way through the trees. We continue in silence. I’m too caught up in preparing myself to meet Misty to make conversation. I know the real reason Jayden suggested we see Misty. I have control of my power but I’m going to try something new today. Jayden gave me task to test my control. We talked about it at length and I agree it will be a true assessment of my strength. I’ll see if I can go just deep enough to read Misty’s thoughts. I have always had to have a connection to read thoughts but I think I can do it. I need to penetrate just below the surface and not create the bond. I go over again in my head the feeling right before the connection is made. There is a point where I feel a person’s core. If my power touches their core then the connection is made but if I can get into the mind without reaching the core I should get the thoughts without the connection.

“It won’t work if she is feeling strong emotion,” I blurt out breaking our silence. “She will have to be in complete control of her feelings.” Strong emotion pulls too strongly. “Maybe we should tell her first.” I add reluctantly. I don’t want to connect with Misty, my only non-connected friend.

“Misty is always calm. I think if you tell her it will ruin the experiment. She will prepare herself and you need to know you can do this on someone unguarded mentally.” He states confident in my ability.

I take comfort in his faith in me. A person always looks at us different after they know. We have so few friends. We stick close to the family for the most part, safer that way.

We stop for a rest at our favorite spot. I dismount and give the reins to Jimmy, one of my guard. I walk with Jayden hand in hand to our own private retreat. It’s a place we found when we were children. Through a screen of birch trees we come to a clearing with a small waterfall that empties into a shallow pool. I take off my riding boots and sit on the edge of the pool letting my feet dangle in the cool water.

Jayden sits next to me and we stare up at the clouds. “Where is Sasha?” He asks curious. It’s not surprising he would ask, she is usually glued to my hip.

“I’m not sure. She left my room this morning thinking there was someone she could sense she hadn’t met. You know how she is with strangers, she has to know them all before they get near me,” I reply unconcerned. Sasha can take care of herself. I lie back in the dew wet grass and inhale deeply. “This is my favorite place,” I sigh content.

Jayden lays back and opens his thoughts to me. He isn’t thinking anything specific, just enjoying my company. I bask in his feelings content to sit here all day. Jayden’s thoughts drift to our mother. I see her through his eyes. It’s not a vision that can be explained. He mostly remembers her thoughts gently probing us in the womb. She loved us so much. It sounds strange to think that she could feel so much for us without even seeing us for more than a minute before she died. Jayden dwells for a minute on the immense pain of feeling our mother die. She was connected to us even then. Those memories are fuzzy but the general feeling still haunts us both. Its one reason me and Jayden are so close. We took comfort in each other. Jayden was the only one who can understand that broken connection. Our father too but I can not share myself with him completely.

One of our guard clears his throat quietly trying not to intrude. “Your Highnesses, we must get moving if you want to reach your destination and still return to the castle today.”

“Of course, thank you Tristan.” I say getting up. Jayden sighs regretfully and joins me.

It takes another hour for us to reach Misty’s home at Tregaurd. She runs out to meet us breathless. “Princess Jael, Prince Jayden,” She greets us bowing gracefully. “I did not know you were coming. What a wonderful surprise.”

I dismount and greet her with a warm embrace. She is always so happy. I envy her innocence.

“Innocent yes, but not naive nor shallow. I like her.” Jayden thinks to me as he takes Misty’s hand and kisses it gently. I glare at him for intruding on my thoughts. He ignores me and meets Misty’s eyes, “Lady you look beautiful today.” He says to her smoothly. I roll my eyes. He is such a player. I throw the last thought out to him. He just smiles at Misty and looks more deeply into her eyes. She is stunned into silence.

“You promised Jayden,” I warn. He breaks his hold on her and turns to me.

“Yes Ma’am,” He thinks to me all innocence.

I turn to Misty and avoid looking into her eyes. I’m not ready yet. “I’ve missed you. How have you been?” I ask.

“Bored. I am so thankful you both are here.” She says in a rush, still flustered by Jayden’s greeting. “Are you just passing through on your way to the lake house?”

“No silly, we came to see you.” I answer. Taking her hands in mine I lead her into the garden off the courtyard.

“Where is Sasha?” Misty asks curious.

“Home, she was busy when we left.” I reply. Everyone loves Sasha. I trace my connection back to her worried slightly. I sense she is still searching for her stranger disappointed we left without her.

I chat idly with Misty as Jayden trails behind us pretending to admire the garden. I know he is just waiting for me to get up my nerve to face my task. After exhausting all topics of conversation with Misty I seeing Jayden smelling flowers bored. I can’t stall anymore. “Misty let’s sit. I do love this garden. We need one like this at home. Don’t you think Jayden?” I ask turning to him.

He meets my eyes and laughs at the anxiety he finds there. “Get on with it little sister” he thinks to me sternly. “Yes we do.” He says out loud for Misty’s benefit taking a rose and smelling deeply. He rolls his eyes in ecstasy. Misty giggles at his antics.

I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. I turn to Misty and take her hand. She looks to me smiling. I stare at our hands, still too nervous to look in her eyes. The skin of her hands are as pale as mine, her nails painted a pretty pink. I look up at her face. She is very pretty with her long honey blonde hair falling in loose curls down her back and dressed in a rose colored gown that suits her complexion perfectly.

Finally I inhale sharply and look at her eyes. I try to see just her eyes and not what is behind them. They are a light hazel with gold flecks framed by long lashes that almost touch her cheek when she blinks. She moves her eyes from mine to pick a twig from my hair. No one has ever broken eye contact with me except Jayden. I always have to be the first to look away. I'm so excited I look up to Jayden, standing behind her, in amazement. He smiles encouragingly at me. I look back to Misty and search her eyes again trying to go just deep enough to hear her thoughts. She looks at me puzzled by my stare. “What is it your highness?” She asks with a confused tilt of her head.

“Nothing. I'm just happy to see you.” I reply lamely. I look to Jayden again. “I’m no good at this,” I think to him. He returns my stare calmly.

I look to Misty again, this time trying to make it look casual. I look just a little deeper this time. I catch her thoughts. Her eyes are so breathtaking. It’s hard to look at her for too long. I wonder if she gets tired of people telling her how beautiful they are. “Your eyes are so pretty your highness.” She smiles and adds sheepishly, “I'm sure you hear that all the time.”

Jayden laughs at her thoughts and the following comments. I glare at him. I knew he connected with her. He shrugs at my accusing look. He has no shame.

“Thank you Misty. Most people notice my eyes but I think they frighten them more than anything.” I glance at Jayden with a smirk, “Jayden gets most of the attention as you have no doubt noticed.” She blushes assuming I mean her noticing him.

“Be nice,” he chides.

Happy with my success I stand ready to leave. “Misty, I know it’s been a short visit but Jayden and I do need to return to home before nightfall. Come visit us soon?”

“I would like that. I will arrange it with my father. Thank you both for coming,” She says clearly disappointed we are leaving so soon.

“It’s been delightful seeing you again Lady,” Jayden says taking her hand brushing his lips along her fingers gently. Again she is breathless from his touch.

“Thank…thank you your Highness,” She stammers.

I turn from him in disgust. Mounting my stallion I leave without caring if he follows. He catches up with me quickly laughing at my irritation. He will never change. My task completed we discuss silently my next experiment.

~

“What if I try breaking one of my weaker connections?” I think silently to Jayden as I brush Jackson. I walk out of the stable finished and glance at my brother still waiting for an answer. Following his gaze I see our grandfather’s steward walking towards us.

The transformation is automatic. Jayden loses the fun brother attitude and becomes a Prince. The grin leaves his face; replaced by a mask of polite interest. “Smith,” he says in a voice that sounds so unlike the Jayden I know, so formal.

“Prince Jayden,” the steward replies bowing slightly. “Your father and the King would like to see you, both of you,” he looks to me, carefully avoiding my eyes, “He will be waiting for you in the west wing study.” Why such a secluded place I wonder briefly.

“Of course,” Jayden replies automatically. I notice him looking at Smith so hard as if daring him to meet his eyes. Jayden will force a connection at any opportunity. I groan inwardly. Smith is well aware of Jayden’s ability and turns away after giving a short bow careful to avoid his eyes. Jayden’s smile returns as the steward walks away. He looks at me and catches my eyes with his. His expression clouds over with worry.

“Did you hear what he was thinking Jael?” He sends the thought to me with such force I take a step back. His expression looks like someone stole something from him.

“No, we are not connected. I didn’t think you were either. I thought since he knew our secret he would be careful to avoid us,” I respond confused by his intensity. My grandfather thought it wise to include his most trusted steward with our secret. I know Jayden resents his power being revealed to those not of his choosing but I don’t understand the feelings I sense from him.

“He is not as careful as he thinks. He is unaware of our connection,” His thought comes to me with a sense of disdain.

“What was he thinking?” I think to him curiously.

“I will let you hear it from Grandfather,” The tone of his thought is angry. I look at him with a question in my eyes. I’ll not break his trust and take his thoughts from him. He shakes his head, unwilling to give me anything more.

“If you wish,” I think breaking the contact. I know better than to push Jayden.

We set off to our rooms to change and meet the King.

~

As Jayden and I walk into the secluded study hand in hand, I am surprised to see a stranger there.

My grandfather looks strait into my eyes and thinks to me, “Child I trust you not to get overexcited but please leash your brother.”

I look at Jayden to see what he means and notice how furious he is. I grip his hand tighter and touch my other hand to his cheek turning him to face me forcing him to look into my eyes. He does so unwillingly. “Whatever this is,” I think to him, “I trust grandfather so please be still. If you cannot control yourself, Jayden, I will.” He pulls out of my grip and tears his eyes from mine. I stare after him shaking my head in confusion.

I turn to my father and smile. Our relationship is so new sometimes it takes me by surprise at how happy I am to see him. He returns my smile and kisses my cheek. “Daughter, you get more beautiful everyday.” He whispers, his voice catching slightly, “Just like your mother.” I return his kiss and try not to see the hurt in his eyes. Strong emotion tends to overwhelm me. It is still difficult not to make a connection to someone in emotional pain. I turn to the stranger.

I inhale sharply and take an involuntary step toward him. He is beautiful. He’s also Reydurian, far from home. He has the bronze sun kissed skin and thick wavy black hair, common of his people. His hair is arranged in a styled messiness that looks casual but at the same time as if every hair is in its place. He is tall, a head taller than my 5’7’’ height. He is dressed unusually in the Baer style. Tan breeches with boots that come to the knee, fitted v neck white cotton shirt, revealing strong muscles and a gold chain around his neck with a bright emerald green pendant.

I look to his eyes carefully trying to just skim the surface of his depth, bold by my success with Misty. My eyes lock with his so strongly that I feel my power overwhelm me. I clench my fists tightly trying to break eye contact. His eyes are such a vivid green, hawk-like with a sharpness that misses nothing. I am lost in the depths of them. I cannot break free. Plunging down further and further to his core the connection is almost made. His thoughts just start to come to me in confusion and panic when Jayden steps between us breaking my concentration and the direct line of sight to his eyes. I lean on Jayden breathless with the force of my power overtaking me. I have never felt such a pull to make a connection. My vision spins as I try to concentrate on slowing my heart. Jayden lifts my chin and looks into my eyes. His gaze has a steadying affect on me. I allow my power to consume him. Our connection is so deep it takes me a minute to remember how to hold my power back. Once I regain control I release my hold on Jayden and he inhales sharply. He rests his forehead on mine. Both of us taking comfort in the others closeness.

I turn and look to my Grandfather apologetically. “I'm sorry,” I think to him. “I lost control.” Tears come to my eyes unbidden. I dash them away angrily. How could I lose control? My power is so tightly restrained, this should not have happened. I’m too freighted to look at my father, afraid of not being in command of my power. Who is this stranger with the green eyes that rips my control from me with one look? Tears slide down my cheeks unstoppable.

Jayden notices my tears, his fury is automatic. He hugs me closer to him covering my face with his shoulder and turns on grandfather thinking viciously to him, “I am taking her away from here. Do not bring him into her presence again.” Grandfather, not understanding takes a step towards me. Jayden pushes him away and sweeps me from the room. I look back just in time to see the stranger staring after me breathless and confused.

~

In my room Jaden helps me into a chair and starts pacing. His face is a thundercloud. I know better than to interrupt his thoughts. He sighs, trying to calm himself, clenching and unclenching his fists. He suddenly stops in front of me, drops to his knees and puts his head in my lap. “Oh Jael you must not see him again. Tell Grandfather to send him away.”

“I don’t understand Jayden. Who is he?” I ask, confused by his despair. My heart is still racing. I am upset that I lost control but I almost want to go back and lock eyes with this stranger again. I have never felt anything like him. The pull is hard to resist.

“He’s Crulian,” He cries frantic.

Surprised, I twine my fingers through his curls thinking about the strangers green eyes. His depth was something I have never experienced, even deeper than Jayden. “Crulian? A shift changer?” So that was the secret he was so scared for me to discover. “Jayden are you sure? Crulians are rare and they don’t usually have dealings with kings.” Crulians have always been exciting to me. My wolf Sasha was part Crulian. I try to keep the elation out of my voice but Jayden knows me too well.

His head snaps up and he stares into my eyes. The force of his thoughts are uncomfortable. “You will not see him again Jael, I will not allow it. You cannot leave me.”

The betrayal in his eyes catches me off guard and I gasp, the reality of Jayden out of my life is agonizing. “I would never leave you Jayden.” I reach down into his eyes and touch his core. I infuse him with my love. I think of every moment of us sharing our thoughts, our love, our very being. I pour myself into him until he can hold no more. He sighs regretfully as I break my hold on him. Helping him up, I hug him fiercely. “I need to know Jayden. Why would a Crulian have such an affect on me? Why do I feel powerless against him? It was as if I have never had control of my power.”

Jayden avoids looking at me. He breaks our embrace and starts pacing again. I drop back into my chair waiting for him to answer. Just then Sasha bursts into the room. She runs to me whining softly, worried. She must have sensed my distress. “I’m fine, really.” I think to her. She is upset that I met a stranger without her. “I'm sorry Sasha. You can still meet him, he is with Grandfather and Father in the west wing study.” She looks at me and then the door and back to me undecided. “Go,” I tell her gently putting a little force behind my thought. She turns to Jayden growls softly and leaves the same way she came. Jayden didn’t even stop his pacing to acknowledge her presence.

My thoughts drift back to the stranger. It’s as if we already have a bond but I search my connections and don’t feel the usual pull. My heart starts beating uncontrollably at the thought of dropping into the depths of his eyes.

Jayden sensing my emotions speaks, “Crulians are very dangerous Jael. They have loyalty to no one. They are ruthless in their dealings with people.” He pauses obviously considering Sasha who has absolute loyalty to me. “Sasha isn’t full Crulian,” he says interpreting my look of doubt. He continues seriously, “That’s not even the issue. He wants you Jael. I made the connection automatically and sensed his thoughts. He has heard of you. He doesn’t understand how your power works but he has heard of your beauty and unusual abilities to control those around you. And he is drawn to you…he is not sure why. Did you make the connection?”

“No,” I reply. “You broke the contact just before we connected.” I don’t mention that I caught his thoughts. Thinking about his thought of panic at me discovering his secret, I feel the guilt of invading his mind overwhelm me. Making the connection feels so right. My power is hungry for him. The draw is hard to suppress. I push away the desire in disgust.

“Good,” Jayden says with obvious relief. “Crulians are said to have abilities that are unique to each one. He could be dangerous to have in your head.”

“Why is he here Jayden? Do you know what he told Grandfather?”

“No, we didn’t stay long enough for me to get any details,” He laughs bitterly. “I only know that Smith was sent to bring you to meet a special Prince.”

A Prince. Jayden’s anger starts to make sense. “Maybe we overreacted; perhaps my power just senses another equal. Do you think he was the Prince I am supposed to meet?”

Face clouding over again he says, “A Crulian Prince? I don’t think so.” He broods over the thought of me meeting a Prince and the implications involved. “I need to speak with Grandfather. Come, Ill not allow you out of my sight.” I jump up to leave with him, excited that I may see the stranger again.

“Don’t be ridiculous Jael,” He says sensing my excitement. “I’ll not bring you in his presence again. Let’s go find Smith and have him tell Grandfather to meet with us,” I purse my lips in annoyance but follow him, disappointed.

Chapter 2

I can’t believe he just sent for his granddaughter. Did I imagine our conversation yesterday? Clenching my teeth in frustration I try to explain again, “Your Majesty I thought you understood the gravity of the situation. Was I not clear in our discussion yesterday the threat that faces you? The King of Raykjavik means to have you and your grandson Jonathan murdered. King Gaelik feels it’s too much of a threat for Prince Jonathan to unite Nordura and Auster. Why do you bring me here to meet your granddaughter, I did not come for a social call.”

“Prince Dresden, please sit down. We understand and are grateful for your message. We have spoken at length and have come to a decision. It involves my granddaughter as you will see.” King David says patiently. He is older than I remember. He must be about 70 now. His once black hair is now silver. His body does not live up to the intelligence in his eyes. He is still solid but walks with a cane. He smiles gently trying to ease my frustration.

I decide it won’t hurt to meet Princess Jael. I have always wanted to meet her anyways. Her beauty is spoken of often. Her uncanny ability to compel all those around her to love her unconditionally is also well known. She doesn’t meet outsiders often. I’ve always wondered what my reaction to her would be. I am not so easily ensnared. Although I’ve never heard anyone speak against her. How could a girl be so wonderful to inspire entire kingdoms to love her? This I have to see so I relax and wait for the lady to appear with the same expectation reflected in the faces of her father and grandfather.

She comes into the room hand in hand with her brother, Prince Jayden. I’m at once taken aback by how beautiful she really is. Her skin is a creamy white, it looks so soft. I resist the urge to walk up to her and touch her slightly flushed cheek. Her thin frame is balanced by her slight curves. She looks to her grandfather with a smile. Her smile fades to concern as she reads the look of disapproval on her grandfather’s face. She turns to her brother and touches his cheek, gently turning his face so he meets her gaze. I am instantly jealous. This is a strange, new feeling to me. I'm embarrassed at my reaction.

Jael still holding her brothers face looks into his eyes intently. Something passes between them. He suddenly tears himself from her grip and walks to stand beside the King. She stares after him shaking her head slightly. Next she turns to her father. Sebastian greets her and kisses her cheek. She returns his kiss and then finally turns to face me.

She is wearing a modest silver gown that brings out her eyes. Her eyes! As soon as she shyly raises her gaze to meet mine, my heart begins to race and my breathing stops completely. She takes a step towards me and our eyes lock with such intensity I am frozen in place unable to think or breathe. Everything around us disappears. All that exists in this moment is her.

I can feel her penetrate my very being. I want so much to touch her but I’m locked in place by her stare. Her expression is surprised and then she seems to concentrate harder. She is seeing right through me, into me. I can hide nothing from her glacial stare boring into my soul. Soon she will know everything. In that instant I start to panic. She can’t know. I try to shut her out but she is inside of me, consuming me. Just when I don’t think I can take any more Jayden steps between us. As soon as she is blocked from my view I can breathe again.

After a moment I look to her father and grandfather for an explanation but they don’t seem to notice. They are watching the twins in confusion. Suddenly Jayden turns to glare at his grandfather and something passes between them. David looks puzzled and reaches for Jael. Jayden pushes him away and sweeps Jael from the room. I catch one glimpse of her before she is gone.

Shaken, I sit heavily on a couch. “What was that all about,” I ask them. They look at each other knowingly and turn back to me.

Prince Sebastian considers me briefly and then with obvious reluctance begins. “Your Highness, there are things about Jael that are not… public knowledge. We will have your word that what we tell you will not leave this room.”

“You have it. Tell me,” I reply.

The King walks to stand before me and looks me in the eyes. “Jael is special. Jayden as well,” he pauses considering his words. “She has an ability to form a connection with a person so strong they are unable to break it. This bond makes it possible for Jael to impel those she is connected to, to do her will. She can also read their thoughts and emotions. It’s possible for her to put her thoughts into their minds. She has a strong control of her power and never makes a connection unless it’s absolutely necessary,” He insists. He again pauses to consider how to continue, “Jayden’s power is not as strong. His connections do not last and can be blocked if the person is strong enough and knows how. Jayden connects to everyone he can. He responds to thoughts more than to speech. Jael is more careful. There are some of us that are connected to Jael since birth. We are lucky she is not power hungry because she could have us all if she wished.” I'm sure my expression was one of disbelief. The King, taking in my look, clears his throat awkwardly. “We wanted you to meet Jael because she is the solution to our problem.” He sits in the chair next to mine and continues seriously, “We need her to go to Reykjavik and connect to the King. She can put him under her power and this problem will be behind us. It’s the only way to avoid confrontation that would surely cause lives. We were hoping you could escort her there, you being the ambassador to Reykjavik for Claudbear. This is with King Shalador’s permission of course. I would not ask this if I knew a better person that could be trusted with my granddaughter’s safety. I imagine Jayden will insist on going as well. They are inseparable.”

I don’t know what to say. I stare at him blankly. I look to Prince Sebastian trying to tell if this is all a joke. He returns my look calmly. “We would not have shared this knowledge with you if we thought there was anyone else more suited for this mission.” I nod, understanding his meaning.

I have a reputation in Claudbear for completing my adopted father, King Shalador’s, tasks without fail. It seemed to my father and his advisors that I could accomplish anything if I was given the task. Therefore, I was given the most difficult and impossible tasks. I was who they went to when they could count on no one else. Yes, I understood their confidence in me. It wasn’t the task itself that I struggled with. I wasn’t sure I could be around Jael. She cannot know my secrets. “I will do as you ask on one condition,” I decide impulsively. They nod, waiting for me to state my conditions. “She vows to not make a connection with me. Whatever that takes I must have your word and hers.”

“Done,” The King replies with obvious relief. Clasping his hands together eagerly he says, “And now you must meet Jael. I will see what caused her distress and we shall meet in an hour.” I had an idea what caused her distress. It was causing me the same anxiety now. I love her, I think honestly to myself. It only took one look but I can feel it deep within me. We are meant to be together. But how could that be? My kind do not mate. I am Crulian.

~

“No!” Jayden practically screams.

Grandfather looks to him and takes a tone I have only heard a few times in my life. He addresses Jayden as a Prince of Nordura instead of his grandson, “Check yourself Prince.”

Jayden relents automatically, “Yes your Majesty. I meant no disrespect.”

“Grandfather please try to understand. I lost control completely with him. Jayden knows how difficult it would be for me to face him again.” The King turns to me still King and not my papa. He remains distant for a moment longer and then relaxes his stance and looks to Jayden and sighs heavily.

“I do understand but Jayden, Jael you must understand the situation. Let me tell you why Prince Dresden is here. As you should already know Prince Dresden is the ambassador to Reykjavik for his adopted father King Shalador of Claudbaer. While in Reykjavik, Dresden uncovered a plot to assassinate Me and Jon. They see us uniting Nordura and Auster as a severe threat. Dresden came to warn us of the pending danger. We have convinced him to assist us in preventing this disaster. He has agreed to get you face to face with the King undetected.” He pauses letting his news sink in. It dawns on me what my role will be at the same time the realization hits Jayden. He loses control again.

Jumping from his chair he storms towards the door silently commanding me to follow him. There is more force behind his command than I expect and I stand involuntarily. I regain control of my will almost instantly. I stand my ground waiting for Jayden to realize I haven’t followed. He stops hand extended towards the door frozen. “Please come back Jayden. I need you.” I think to him as gently as possible.

“I wont be a part of this Jael. If you do this it will be without me.” He responds and leaves without looking back.

I stare after him in disbelief. Jayden has never left me when I needed him. The one person that understands exactly what my grandfather is asking of me. I can’t do this. Not without Jayden, and not even then. To deliberately make a connection after fighting so long to gain control? I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself. I’ve never been connected to an evil mind either. To feel the emotions and hear the thoughts of a mind capable of plotting to kill my family would be unbearable. What if this king came to understand our connection? He could try to use it against me. What then? I cannot break the bond once it’s been made. I think to Prince Dresden, glad to finally put a name to the stranger with the green eyes. How could I work with him? How can I even face him again and keep my control. I can’t do it.

“Jael?” my father says again. I didn’t realize he was talking to me.

“I won’t do it.” I say without explanation. I can’t face them. I leave in a rush shamefaced. As I make my way to my room the tears start to fall. I may have just condemned my brother and grandfather to death. My mind whirls with visions of them lying cold, skin the white-blue of death. I run blindly through the palace. I trip and fall against a wall, hard. The pain bringing me back to reality I look around to see where I am. Of course I am right outside Jayden’s door. He suddenly appears beside me and takes me in his arms. The tears begin again.

~

Sasha is in Jayden’s room pacing. She pushes her head under my hand wanting reassurance that I’m ok. I ignore her and lay on Jayden’s bed. The tears continue unchecked. It’s no use to try to hold them back. I allow the guilt to wash over me. What kind of person am I? How selfish can I be? So many would sacrifice everything for me. Why can I not return the love so easily bestowed upon me? Jayden wipes the tears from my cheeks gently. “They do not understand what they are asking Jael,” he says holding me tight. He readjusts his hold on me so he can look into my eyes. “They will find another way to stop them. This was just the easiest solution. If you didn’t have this power they would find another way.”

“Oh Jayden what if they are right and this is the only way?” I sob. “What if my refusing ends in their death?” A thought suddenly occurs to me, “That would make you King!” He blanches at the idea of taking the crown, “They know you cannot unite Nordura and Auster. Only Jon has been able to unite the people. This would destroy the harmony he has so carefully cultivated.”

He scowls at me not liking where this conversation is leading. Jayden has never wanted to be King. He knows he would never be a good ruler, not like Jon. “They will find another way,” He repeats weakly.

“And if they don’t? Are you not only prepared to see our Grandfather and brother killed but become King as well?” He squirms uncomfortably. “Jayden I cant do this without you. Help me.”

He drops his head in his hands defeated. “We can’t get close enough without the Claudbaer prince. Can you face him again?”

I consider his question seriously. “You will have to teach him to guard himself. He was completely open to me. It wouldn’t stop the connection if I was trying but it would help me to be around him. Ill have to be careful not to look at him directly. You will have to be ready to interfere if it happens again.” I take a breath shakily. “I guess ill have to meet with him again, this time prepared for the pull. Does grandfather know he is Crulian?”

“No. I don’t think we should tell anyone either. I don’t think Prince Dresden will respond kindly if we reveal his secret. I think I will have to tell the Prince we know. He will, no doubt, need to use his shifting abilities to accomplish our task.” He says. He seems almost eager now to begin. “Lets go. I think grandfather will be relieved to hear our change of heart.”

Sasha follows us, her nails making small clicking noises on the stone floor. I look at her and then at Jayden. “Do you think he will upset her?”

“Probably she doesn’t like people that upset you. Maybe we should let her meet the Prince when you have more control,” He replies.

“Sasha,” I think to her, “Wait for me in my room.” She whines unhappy to be separated from me. She wants to meet this Prince me and Jayden keep speaking of. She knows it’s the stranger she was looking for. “Later, I promise.” She huffs unsatisfied but obeys.

~

“Are you sure Jael?” My father asks concerned. Grandfather already sent Smith to find Dresden and have him meet us but my father doesn’t like the reaction I had to him any better than Jayden did. He is sensitive to me making strong connections. He doesn’t want anyone to suffer as he did.

“Yes, I’m sure.” Its time I return their love I think to myself. I owe them this. “I need to meet Prince Dresden again. I need to be sure my control is not lost completely.” I turn to Jayden, “Can you please speak with him and explain to him what he needs to do?” He nods sharply and leaves to meet with the Prince.

Chapter 3

I pace the room anxious. What is taking so long? I thought she agreed to meet with me. The anticipation of seeing her again is driving me crazy. I stop pacing and try to calm myself. I laugh weakly. How can this have happened? I haven’t even spoken to her yet. Determined to keep my cool I sit and try to empty my mind. I close my eyes and think of the feeling of flying. The memory always has a calming effect. I imagine the sensation of the wind through my feathers. The high that comes with soaring over the world and knowing nothing can touch me. Leaving human concerns behind and embracing the beast within. To be wild is to embrace the real me. I open my eyes and feel more myself than I have since she walked through that door and into my heart.

I stare at the door hearing someone approach. Instead of Jael, Jayden walks through the door alone. He looks at me with a mixture of dread and hope. “Jael will see you, Prince, but there are things you need to know first.”

“Go on,” I reply calmly.

He stares at me for a second and continues, “You need to learn to block your mind. If you stare in her eyes and open like a book the connection will be made. She cannot stop it. The pull of your mind is too strong.” He smiles maliciously and adds, “Since I have already connected to you lets start with you trying to block me.”

I'm stunned by his revelation. “I do not feel a connection,” I say through clenched teeth. “There is no compulsion of love between us.” He laughs at my assumptions.

“My connections do not inspire false love like Jael’s. My connections only mean I can control your actions if your mind is weak and I can read your thoughts. I can also project my thoughts into your mind. My connections are not permanent. I can break them or you could if you try. Perhaps that’s the best place to start.” He says thinking aloud.

He sits across from me and stares out the window collecting his thoughts. I can only assume he is thinking of how to explain his mysterious powers to me. Making up his mind on how to start he finally says, “First you have to feel the connection.” I just stare at him blankly. He sighs and tries to explain, “Try to close your eyes and sense where I am in relation to you. Instead of seeing me with your eyes you need to find me with your mind.”

I close my eyes and try to locate him. It’s difficult since I know where he is already. How do you sense a person? I open my eyes and give him a look of frustration. He smiles and reaches for my hand. I jerk it out of his reach. He laughs outright and takes my hand deliberately. His hands are warm making me uncomfortable but I'm not sure why.

He stares directly into my eyes and suddenly I feel him in my head. “Close your eyes and relax,” his thoughts in my head are a soft whisper. His thoughts feel like my thoughts. It’s as if I'm telling my body what to do. My eyes respond automatically. I relax, my hands still in his. “Try to feel the connection.” I obey without thought. There it is. I feel his mind touching mine. I follow the touch back to him.

I open my eyes as I think to him “I feel it now.” He’s shocked that I made the jump from feeling the connection to using it. I sense his reaction more than see it reflected across his features. It’s strange to be connected to someone’s emotions so intimately. He smiles at my thought. I return his smile understanding him a little better. He releases my hands; I forgot he was still holding them.

“Ok now you need to learn to block my thoughts. Remember what the connection feels like and try to put a barrier between my mind and yours.” I think I understand. I close my eyes and find the connection. I focus on not allowing thoughts to pass through the connection. “Stand up.” I hear the whisper but my mind recognizes it as foreign and does not obey. I smile and open my eyes. “I still heard your thought but I could control my reaction. Was that right?”

“It’s a start. We will have to practice to the point that you can block the thoughts as well as the reaction. It will take a lot of practice before you will be strong enough to withstand Jael’s mind. Now that you understand the connection and can control it some what, ill need to explain the precautions you have to take with Jael. Don’t look in her eyes. We are trying to prevent a connection so resist the pull to open your mind to her completely. Even though there is no connection try to block her thoughts. She can’t meet your eyes or her power will take over and make the connection and neither of you will be able to stop it. I will be monitoring your thoughts and hers to make sure if you do start ill be able to stop it. Don’t fight me, ok?” He says pointedly.

“Ok. Anything else?” I ask.

“Don’t get any ideas about Jael. She is not available to you Prince. You will hurt her. She isn’t strong enough to withstand making a connection to you. The kind of connection you would have to her is painful to break, trust me. If anything happened to one of you the other would most likely not recover. Remember that.” He says seriously.
“I do have one question and I want a strait answer.” I ask waiting for his answering nod. “How much do you know about me?”

“I know you are Crulian.” He responds simply. He answers my next question before I can ask it, “Jael knows too.”

So my secret is out. Its better that they know but I’ve lived with it hidden from people for so long it’s difficult to adjust to company who are privy to my deepest secret. A few know what I am but not many. My adopted father, King Shalador and my brother Prince Alexander both know. A few other people I trust. I don’t even know Jayden and Jael. I sigh and put my head in my hands, trying to take it all in.

“I know it’s a lot all at once but remember, you know our secret too,” Jayden whispers in my mind.

“Please don’t do that, one thing at a time.” I say exasperated.

“I’m sorry, sometimes I forget it is not a natural thing to most,” He says apologetically. “Are you ready to meet Jael? You may even get as far as speaking to each other this time.” He chuckles.

I look up at him and smile. “Yes I am ready.” I stand and try to collect myself. “Lets go,” I sound more confident than I feel. My heart starts hammering against my chest in anticipation of seeing her again.

Jayden laughs again, “If it makes you feel any better she has the same reaction to you.” My heart just beats faster in response. He leads the way from the room trying to cover his grin.

Chapter 4

What was taking Jayden so long? He didn’t need to explain everything right now. I was anxiously sitting in my grandfather’s council room waiting to see Dresden again. I was having a hard time not fidgeting. My grandfather takes in my fluttering hands and looks at me knowingly trying to look stern but failing miserably. I look to him and smile embarrassed. “I can’t help it Papa,” I think to him.

“I know,” He says aloud smiling.

I sigh and get up to stare out the window. I don’t know if I can face him when he walks in. Maybe I’ll just not turn around. He can speak to my back, would that be rude? Probably but I'm not sure I can manage hearing him speak and not meeting his eyes.

I hear the door open and my heart does a little dance in my chest. It takes all my control not to turn around. “I need you,” I think desperately to Jayden ashamed at my lack of self control. He comes to me immediately and squeezes my hand reassuringly. I look to him expecting to feel his dislike for our stranger but I sense an understanding instead. Curious I ask silently, “How did it go?”

“Good. I think you can look at him. I showed him how to block, just don’t look directly in his eyes if you can help it. If you do don’t worry I will be here to stop you before the connection is formed.” When I don’t budge he pushes me slightly in Dresden’s direction but keeps my hand firmly in his. “Go say hello little sister, you are being rude.”

I look to my father instead wanting to make sure of my control on someone I have been resisting the connection with for longer. He smiles at me not understanding fully my hesitation. He makes the introductions casually, “Jael, this is Prince Dresden of Claudbaer. He will escort you to Reykjavik to meet King Serovik.”

Finally I look to Dresden avoiding his eyes. I register again his beauty. This time I am ready for the pull to look into his eyes. I resist it and can feel him resisting too. It helps; he is not fully open to me. I sigh with relief and take a step in his direction. He meets me half way, “Prince Dresden,” I nod to him. He takes my free hand and lifts it to brush against his lips. The simple contact is agony. The pull so strong I tear my hand from his and lean on Jayden. “Easy,” He thinks to me gently. “I’m so sorry, Prince; I am not myself. This is very difficult for me. I have never felt a pull so strong.” I look to him apologetically and catch his eyes on accident. The hurt in his eyes is too much. I can feel his resistance but I brush it aside easily. I fall fast knowing the way to his core.

His thoughts hit me hard, “Stop! Please!” He screams in my head.

Jayden’s thought follows right behind his, “Jael, look at me NOW!” The force behind his thought breaks my hold and then his face is in front of mine. His eyes search mine and satisfied I have control again he steps from between us.

I stare at the ground not trusting myself to even look at his feet. “Maybe we will have to work on physical contact,” I say dizzy from the intensity of the moment.

“Yes, I understand. I will try to keep my distance.” He replies breathless. “It’s nice to meet you Princess. I hope we can become more accustomed to each other in the time it takes to reach Reykjavik.”

“I am sure time will make it easier. Thank you. If you will excuse me,” I nearly run from the room, Jayden trailing after me.

~

“Well that wasn’t a complete disaster,” Jayden says optimistic.

“Not completely, no.” I agree solemnly. “Jayden how am I supposed to travel with him? I can’t even stand his touch.”

“Then don’t let him touch you,” He replies simply. “Jael it will get better with time and there will be our entire guard and me to be a buffer until you can real in your emotions for him. He did better than I thought. He learns fast.”

“He did make it easier than the first time. He was resisting. You taught him that in 15 minutes?” I ask bemused.

“Like I said he learns fast.” Reading my expression he knows I am not convinced. “Don’t worry so much, Ill not let you out of my sight. Even if you look in his eyes I will be there to stop any bond from forming, I promise.”

I nod in agreement. There is not much else I can do to protect him. If it happens I hope he remembers I tried.

~

The next morning I am saddled on Jackson ready for our journey to begin. Jenna looks at me miserably. She hates to travel. I ignore her pouting. She is the only maid that knows about our powers. Everyone in our party must be someone trusted with our secret and all have been briefed about Dresden’s secret as well. There will be no secrets on this journey; we will need every tool at our disposal.

My guard is ready we are just waiting for Jayden, his men, Dresden and Sasha. My guard consists of Tristan, Phillip, Jared, and little Jimmy. Tristan is a solid man in his late 40’s. He has been my primary guard since I was born. Over the years he has hand picked additional men to serve and protect me.

Phillip is 26 and very handsome. We connected when I was 14 and he has been enamored with me since. He joined the guard just to be closer to me. He is good at keeping his feelings to himself content with being near me and in a protective role. I have always been fond of Phillip, he is like a puppy always full of love and happy with any attention he gets.

Jared is the newest addition to my guard. He is very polite and reserved. He was included in my guard at the request of Tristan. He is supposedly very handy in a fight; I have always left those details to Tristan and my Father to handle. If they trust him who am I to question their judgment.

Little Jimmy was Jayden’s attendant at first but was not content with being a servant. My Father agreed to let him be in my guard more to run errands and prepare gear for the other three. He is young only 17 but dependable and very intelligent. He being of Sundurik origin made him especially valuable to the present trip. He knows the language of the northern lands and is familiar with many of the Reykjavik cities having family in the area. He traveled a lot with his parents before settling in Nordura two years ago.

Jayden’s guard Carter and Mason were also coming. They both have been with Jayden since childhood but are usually part of the castle guard. I don’t know them well because it’s usually my guard that travels with us. We don’t usually need additional men for our normal excursions.

Prince Dresden does not have attendants at all. I have never met a Prince like him. He doesn’t have the usual royal superiority about him. He seems more like a commoner than a Royal Prince. I wonder how old he was when he was adopted by King Shalador.

I see him walking towards me and quickly avert my eyes. As I study Jackson’s mane I wonder if he is still blocking or if he forgot. The pull is strong. I notice Jenna perk up at the sight of him. I move Jackson so Jenna is between me and the Prince cutting off any possible eye contact. Phillip noticing my maneuver moves closer and puts himself between me and the Prince as well. I look to him gratefully.

“Lady, would you like to take a turn around the meadow while we wait? Jackson seems like he could stretch his legs.” He smiles at me hopefully.

“Thank you Phillip. I take it my Father briefed you on the situation.” I nod slightly in Dresden’s direction. He blushes knowing that he was caught in his subterfuge. “I think you are right, Jackson is feeling a little antsy. Shall we?”

I can feel his excitement through our connection. I laugh, getting my mental picture of a puppy again. Speaking of puppies, Sasha my half Crulian wolf, bounds up to Jackson weaving in and out of his legs with an ease that comes from much practice. She jumps up enthusiastic at seeing me. She looks around trying to figure out if we are going somewhere and excited by the prospect.

Sasha is a wolf that I took in two summers ago. She was just a few months old and her mother had been killed by archers on the castle wall. Wild animals are not allowed too close to the castle and this one wandered right into our meadow. They didn’t see the pup following her till there were already three arrows that had found their mark. They did not know the wolf was Crulian until she phased back into her human form. The woman’s last request was that someone look after her daughter Sasha. Unsure of what to do with her they brought Sasha to me.

Sasha is the only animal I have ever connected with. I didn’t think to shield against her. It had never happened before with any other of the palace animals but as soon as I looked her in the eyes her thoughts came to me all jumbled together. They didn’t tell me her mother was Crulian until after I had connected to her. Her thoughts are not exactly human more like feelings and impressions. They get more and more clearly human however as she gets older.

Sasha has always been special. She is always happy and has endless energy. I’ve thought a lot about why I connected with her. She is the reason I have always been so interested in the Crulian. Once Crulian change into their beast form only about a third can return to their human form. Most just become wild. Sasha’s mother was Crulian and that is why she came so close to human civilization, she was trying to regain her humanity.

Sasha can understand human speech completely. She reacts to my emotions she feels through our connection and understands when I need her to do something difficult. She is pure white with ice blue eyes much like my own.

Sasha jumps up to rest her paws on my leg and nudges my hand in greeting. Jackson stands still, used to Sasha’s actions. She projects happiness to see me and is curious where we are going. “Good morning Sasha. It’s nice to see you too. We are going on a trip to Reykjavik.” Her excitement explodes in my mind. I smile in response, “Now please get down before Jackson bites you.” I think to her sternly. She pushes off me and turns to Jackson. They have their own kind of greeting, Jackson ignores her and Sasha dances in front of him trying to get his attention. I laugh at their familiar game.

Phillip still waiting patiently watches me and my animals with amusement. I nudge Jackson into motion. He gallops through the meadow with Sasha following easily. I let him stretch his legs for awhile until I hear a low whistle and regretfully return to the stable yard. I see our party is ready to go. I ride up to Jayden thinking to him, “Are we ready?”

“Yes,” He responds aloud.

I look around, there are ten of us total; Jayden, Dresden, Jenna, Phillip, Tristan, Jared, Jimmy, Carter, Mason and Me. Eleven counting Sasha. I always counted her as a person more than one of our animals.

I fall in beside Jayden and allow Tristan to lead the way. We file out of the courtyard. As we enter the woods I look back once and see my childhood home disappear behind me. It will never be the same again, I think sadly to myself. My home wont change but this journey will change me, I can feel it.

“Change is good,” Jayden thinks to me.

I turn to him and smile weakly, “I hope you’re right.” I turn my back firmly to my home and look to the future stretched out before me. I hope he’s right.

Chapter 5

Three days later we crest a hill and look down on Burrow Harbor. The main port city of Nordura, Burrow Harbor is my favorite city in my homeland. Full of diversity I love to come here and just people watch. People from other places fascinate me. I have always wanted to travel and see the world but being a Princess has its drawbacks. Everywhere I go there is such a production I never really get to see a real city, I only see what the monarch wants me to see. This time it will be different. On this trip I will not be Princess Jael of Nordura. I am just Jael.

We are dressed down in the common travel garb of Nordura. We will be traveling as minor nobility, not worth notice. It’s a good thing I have avoided people for most of my life too scared to make connections, not many will recognize me. It will also serve us well that me and Jayden can communicate with our party silently. My newfound ability to hear thoughts of those I am not connected to allows me to read people without making connections. We will know as soon as someone recognizes us or if anyone poses a threat. We can relay any information to our guard to resolve issues swiftly and without notice.

Jayden will have to communicate with Dresden. I know my control is not good enough around him yet. I try to avoid him as much a possible. I always know where he is however, like a magnet moving around me constantly with his pull always in the back of my mind. Sometimes I feel his eyes on me. At those times I have to concentrate with all of my strength to withstand the draw to look at him. Jayden often senses our struggle and intervenes. The constant strain has made me stronger. I feel my control getting more firm. I get more and more comfortable with his steady pull.

We pause to take in the view of Burrow Harbor. I notice Sasha quivering with anticipation standing near Dresden. He reaches down to pet her head and mutters something in her ear, she calms at his touch. Sasha’s initial reaction to Dresden and his to her was interesting to watch. The moment she saw him she was in love. She follows him around with a mindless bliss, like he connected to her in some way. His reaction to her was one of shock. He just stared at her in disbelief the first time he met her. She ran to him and nearly knocked him over with her greeting. He steadied himself at the last second and took her weight easily. I thought he might hurt her since her charge looked more like an attack by a wild wolf. He took her head in his hands and looked into her face, confusion then happiness running across his features. After satisfying himself of what she was he looked to Jayden and said, “Where did you find her?”

Jayden looked to me briefly and then responded, “She is under Jael’s care since she was a pup and we killed her mother. She was in wolf form and came within shooting range of the castle wall.”

A look of hurt crossed Dresden’s features suddenly and then it was gone, replaced by understanding.

Jayden said regretfully, “I’m sorry Dresden we did not know what she was until it was too late. She shifted back to her human form right before she died. It was too late to save her. Her last request was that someone look after Sasha.”

“I understand,” He said sadly. We never spoke of it again but after their initial introduction, Sasha followed him around almost constantly except for the few times a day she came to check on me. Dresden treated her like a person, speaking to her conversationally like she was the same as the rest of us. I was glad since that was not the usual reaction she received. Most were scared of her almost human behavior.

“Where to your highness?” Tristan asks Jayden.

Jayden turns to face our entire group. “This will be our first time passing as minor nobility in a populated area, let’s lose the “highnesses” and fall into our roles. I am the younger son of Baron Ekler of Pennington and Jael is my twin sister. Please remember to refer to us only as Lord and Lady while still in Nordura, our names are too well known. Dresden you will have to pass as one of our guard.” He nods in agreement. “Ok let’s find an inn for the night and then we will need to book passage for Sundurnik.”

“I think the Feather Inn would be most appropriate my Lord,” Tristan suggests.

“Lead the way,” He agrees. It’s obvious we cannot stay in our normal inn set aside for visiting royalty and the very rich.

We make our way down the steep hill into the city. We pass unnoticed at the gates and make our way into the market. It’s still early in the day and the market is busy. There are people from everywhere going about their daily business. It’s a much different view as one of them and not a Princess. Normally the street would be cleared and my party ushered along to a place secluded and thought to be safe. I would have to send an attendant to fetch things from the market for me. Now, I gaze around overwhelmed by all the bright colors and foreign faces. No one seems to recognize us. I sift through the thoughts of those closest to us, grazing through a sea of snippets of information. What people are going to buy, an errand needing to be run, so and so is late, one woman admires Phillip from a distance. I pass through the crowd not sensing anything out of the ordinary. Then I lock eyes with someone almost familiar. It’s a spice merchant that comes to the palace to sell spices to our cook. He looks intently at me and recognizes me by my eyes. He is about to address me by title in the middle of a crowded market! I think quickly to Tristan, “That man to your left by the spices, he recognizes me!” Tristan moves automatically cutting off my view. He slides from his saddle and approaches the man taking his arm and steering him around a corner firmly. Jayden follows discreetly. When they return I look to Jayden quizzically.

“He doesn’t remember us anymore.” He smiles waiting for my reaction. He must have connected to him and changed his thoughts. I try to decide how I feel about this. I suppose it doesn’t hurt him and Jayden’s connections are harmless. I smile back at him.

We pick up our pace and make it to the inn in the west part of town not far from the docks. The inn is in good condition but nothing particularly special. As we enter the stable yard a boy about 11 comes to take our horses. He stares at me open mouthed unable to speak. I search his thoughts curious that he would recognize me. He doesn’t, his thoughts are those of an innocent boy not used to seeing beautiful women. I smile at him surprised by his thoughts. He blushes a deep red embarrassed that he stared at me for so long. He shifts his stare trying to avoid looking at me again only to find four men suddenly glaring at him. It takes me a minute to understand the glares. I have always known I was beautiful but I sometimes forget. I don’t meet many strangers and those close to me are for the most part connected to me. My connected all think I am beautiful but not because of my physical appearance. They are also highly protective, the males especially. I sigh irritated; “He’s only a child” I project to all of them at once. They all turn to me at the same time the same look on all of their faces. Jayden shrugs and moves on into the common room of the inn. Phillip looks back to the boy still glaring. Tristan follows Jayden into the inn. I don’t dare look at Dresden. He’s just as bad as the rest of them even without a connection, I think to myself bitterly. I smile again at the boy reassuringly and follow the others inside.

Sasha rubs against me as we enter the inn, she gets uncomfortable indoors of unfamiliar places. It’s dark inside with a smoky fire in a low hearth. She looks around trying to find the strangers she knows are here. I pet her head thinking to her, “You need to get used to strangers, Sasha; we will meet more than you can protect me from on this trip.”

Jael and Jaydens Eyes/ Levels of connection

2009-11-25T15:55:00.000-08:00

Jael and Jayden's eyes are almost identical. Jael's are icey blue, almost white. Jayden's are a little more blue. Something like this. There are no black pupils they are all blue.

People are so drawn to their eyes it makes it hard for them not to make connections. Jael has worked very hard at avoiding peoples eyes and when she does need to meet them she is on complete guard. Most peoples eyes do not draw her unbearably, unless they are feeling intense emotion, she has no problem holding their gaze and keeping control. Never since she reined in her power has she made a connection. She feels strongly about not taking away peoples natrual affections or lack therof. She does not want love that is not warented. Its an empty love, baseless. The connection creates a false sense of caring and adoration. The connected truely dont know anything about Jael they just feel a draw to her they cannot rid themselves of. There are levels of connection but Jael is too scared to test her ability.

Jayden knows the depths of his ability. His connections are not permanent. He can sense the level of connection and he does what he wishes with whatever connection he gets. He controls part of it. There is a depth of each connection. It depends on how deep the person is, how deeply they can feel, how strong their emotions are. Some are shallow some very deep.

Jayden and Jael

2009-11-25T14:13:00.000-08:00

Now I know the pictures I put up that are my vision of Jayden and Jael seem a little old but picture both of them at 19...

Jayden

2009-11-25T13:58:00.000-08:00

Here is my vision of Jayden. Matt Bomer! Look at those eyes...

Map

2009-11-25T13:57:00.001-08:00

Here is a rough draft of Jael's world.

Jael

2009-11-25T11:59:00.000-08:00

I decided what Jael looks like...

I love Rachel McAdams. Picture her hair about 4 inches longer and its my vision of Jael.

Im trying to hammer out her personality. I also need to think about what her ability will be. I want there to be something special about her.

She is sometimes shy when she is in unusual company, scared to look into their eyes. She is blunt, sometimes to the point that it even embarrasses her. Nothing she says ever comes out just right. She tries to fit in but she knows deep down she will always be different. She can see strait into the depths of a person through their eyes and if she chooses, make a connection so strong they will belong to her forever. She has chosen carelessly in the past. There are some she wishes she hadn't made that connection with. She didn't realize for a long time she was doing it. Didn't realize why some people avoided her for her quick tongue and why some seemed to follow her around with a strange adoration she couldn't quite understand.

Jael is always drawn to people's eyes. She always wondered as a young child why no one would hold her gaze. She didn't know she was looking with such intensity it made others uncomfortable. She learned to read the eyes and know who "her people" were. She had the ability through much practice to read eyes in a way not so intense to scare people away. She sometimes caught their thoughts while she was seeing into their depths.

Jael is 19. She lives in Nordura where her Grandfather, Johnathan, is King. She is the only daughter of Prince Sabatian. She has three older brothers, Johnathan II 26, Jasper 24, and Jaden 19 her twin. Her mother died giving birth to her and Jaden.

Jaden is like her in alot of ways but also very different. He is never shy. His bluntness is sharper than Jaels as well. He sometimes speaks for her. They have had the connection from the womb. She is sure it was her that made it since he has always been under her power. He has the same power as hers but its not as strong although he uses his recklessly. Ensnaring as many around him as he can. People have learned to avoid Jaden's eyes above all else. His power doesn't hold them for life like Jaels. He can hold them for a single task or thought. If he truly wants to and has the concentration he can take them for an entire day but his contact has to be prolonged. He hears their thoughts but only if they are directed at him.

Jael hears more than she wants to and has never tried to see what the full extent of her power is when looking into the minds of those she has enthralled. It scares her this total power she can have over someone. She never truly trusts that those who love her really love her for the person she is or if its just the connection and they have no choice. Some she is sure of. Her Grandfather is in her power but loves her deeply on a more profound level than just the connection. Jael loves her father and he loves her but it is too difficult for him to look at her for them to be close or even for her to make the connection if she wanted to. He is the only one of her family who she did not make the connection with when she was a child. Her older brothers adore her and are very protective. Jaden is just Jaden his connection to her is absolute on every level.

Jael's mother Jaylynn was a princess of Auster. She married Sabastian at a young age and lived most of her life in Nordura. Auster and Nordura are so connected due to the love of Jaylynn and Sabastian and the children who born to them that are of both royal houses that the previously rival nations are now like one.

Jael could feel her mother's mind probing hers in the womb and remembers her intense love. Her mother had her gift but hid it well since no one knew the power existed until the twins were born. Jael knew her mother made the connection with Sabastian and married him for the good of both Auster and Nordura. They would have torn their lands apart with their contentions.

Everyone loved Jaylynn. It was hard sometimes for Jael because most looked at her and wept for the loss they had suffered with her mothers passing. Jael looked like her mother. People sometimes thought Jael was Jaylynn. They were always so disappointed or sad when they realized upon a closer look that it was just Jael. The sadness in their eyes always drew Jael to look into their depths. It was hard for her to turn away from intense sadness in someones eyes. Their heart was so close to the surface in those moments. The feelings almost reached out to her and drew her in without her trying. It was with great almost physical effort to tear her eyes away before the connection was made. People thought her callous to their feelings but she was only sparing them of a connection they had not asked for.

She could control the connection now for the most part. She could see without touching. It had taken a long time to master this control. When she was younger she would look with the full force of her power and make the connection automatically without knowing it until the thoughts changed behind the eyes and then she knew they would be hers for life. Now she looked with just a curiosity not with her full power and she could skim the thoughts that automatically came to her and see the type of person behind the eyes. She could look without taking. Sometimes she would have the overpowering urge to make the connection and sometimes she was repulsed from doing so. Almost as if her power was hungry for the right people and rejected those who would be of no use. She had a tight hold on her power's hunger. It had taken a long time to get to the point of choosing who she made the connection with...

Writing

2009-11-24T15:43:00.000-08:00

I wish I could be an author. It seems like I am always trying to find another author I like so I can find more to read. I wish I could just be creative enough to write my own stories. The only problem is I would not know where to start and I dont have any good ideas. All my ideas would be copies of other books and characters. Im so unoriginal! I know I like other worlds so I guess I could start with a map of an imaginary world...next I would need some kind of culture and norms. Something different though..a little strange but still believable. I wish I could write descriptivly without sounding retarded! I should try to come up with a short story or the background to a character or something...

Ill start with names. I love names. Ill need a main character, gotta be a girl cause I understand girls better obviously. Ella is my favorite girl name...I need something a little different though. Jael has always been a cool name to me. Jael pronounced Jay Elle. Jael seems like she should be a brunette. Hair with a slight curl that she keeps long. Her one vanity... thats a start. Ill have to keep thinking about Jael.

2009-11-23T13:35:00.000-08:00

My vacation is four days away!! Friday seems like it will be crazy. I fell I need a list;

Vacation To Do List

Pack - such a misleadingly small word for such a big project, ill have to do a separate list for that!
Books - I cant decide what I need to read..again. Ive read everything I own but once just isn't enough. I'm thinking Eclipse, Graceling, Hunger Games, Catching Fire (need to get those last two back from Krista)...or all of the Realms of the Blood...or all of the Harry Potter books, I've been meaning to get the whole set. This one needs more thought, leaning towards Realms of the Blood though.
Alcohol - The issue seems to be resolved as long as Jeremy can borrow a big suitcase from his mom, she can be so stingy, and we get the seal-able bottle caps by Friday. I want a bottle of Vodka and Jeremy a bottle of Whiskey. We should be good for the whole trip with that :o) Yay cheap!
Work - Figure out what I am going to do from home on Friday. I need to work at least part of the morning so I can get paid for that day.
iPod - Charge all three of my iPods and then figure out which one ill be using. Put all my recent cds on iTunes and then on my iPods. I need to redo all of my iTunes anyways I don't listen to alot of what is on there and I don't even have most of what I listen to in that library. I want Jeremy's iPod Touch grrrr.
Grandma - I need to make a list of things for her. The address to the kingdom hall, a reminder list for Sasha, Julia's phone number, how to use the computer, keys, scheduled contact with me (probably email everyday)...

Packing List

Dresses
Dress Shirts
T-Shirts
Shorts
Jeans
Dress Pants
Shoes
Jewelry
Hair Stuff
Makeup
Zip-up Hoodies
Underwear
Bras
Socks
Lingerie
Under Garments

Grandma's List

Sasha- Food-Sasha eats one and a half scoops of food per day. Keep her water jug full. She should always have a raw hide bone to chew on so give as many to her as she wants. Outside- She can be outside as long as you are at the house, I do not leave her out there if I leave because you never know what she will do :) If she barks alot please yell at her, she knows better and will usually stop. If she does not stop please bring her in. I don't like to let her keep barking because I'm sure it makes the neighbors mad. I don't mind if she barks here or there just not continuously. Walks-If you take her for walks don't let her socialize with other dogs, I never know if she will love them or hate them it could go either way. She mostly doesn't like small dogs but she has never bitten anything but I'm sure there is a first time for everything. Don't try to walk her without the pinch collar she will drag you around. She likes to sniff everything so I just let her do her thing, its not really about exercise, more about being out of the back yard. Sleep- She sleeps on Alexa's bed or the white love seat. She is allowed on both. She is generally not allowed on my bed unless invited. She is NOT allowed on the brown couch. She knows better so yell at her if you see her on it.
Computer- Our computer works pretty good. We do not turn it off, we just turn off the monitor when we are not using it. The button for turning off the monitor is on the top of the screen. Sometimes it turns itself off or gets an error message. If this happens turn off the computer by holding in the power button and then turn it back on. The black screen will come up that says something like window settings or run disk. pick restore window settings and it will continue to load correctly. If you choose the other option or if you wait too long you will have to start over. The Internet explorer icon is on the desktop. We don't have any passwords or anything to worry about there. We have cable Internet so you don't have to dial up its just always available.
TV- If you want to watch just use the comcast cable remote. Press the power button at the top and it will turn on the tv and the cable box. If one of them are on and you press the main power button then it may turn that one off and the other one on. In that case select either tv then small power button or cable then small power button to turn them on separately. There is a guide button that you can press to get the list of all the shows to scroll through and when you find something to watch hit the select button in the middle. We get channels 2 through about 130.
Keys- I will leave you all my keys. You can use my cars if you need to. The key to my front door sticks a little. If you push it in all the way it will not turn, you have to pull it out a few millimeters for it to turn.
Phone Numbers- I talked to Bronze and Julia and they wanted you to have their number in case you needed anything. I was thinking you may need a ride to meeting on Thursday so you don't have to drive in the dark. Julia's number is 206-226-5854 and Bronze's number is 206-372-4034. I already asked Julia to pick you up for Thursday meeting :o) I would also like if you would email me every day or every other day just so I know whats going on or if you have questions. Ill worry if I don't hear from you ;o) The kingdom hall is one street off of pacific highway, 16th ave. its just kiddy corner from Safeway, behind the LA fitness. Address is 27233 16th Ave S Des Moines, WA 98198.

Its amazing how much better I feel after I get it all down and out of my head!!

2009-11-23T13:32:00.000-08:00

I have so many rambling thoughts sometimes I am not sure what to do with them. It feels like the more I write stuff down the less I have to stress about it. Its like proof to my brain that I have already thought about it and now it can rest. I do not want this to be a place for me to get depressed and write all my problems. This should be a happy escape...Ill leave my depressing thoughts to rattle in my brain and make my heart squeeze...privately. This is my happy place.